Two great blog carnivals have been updated and you could spend all day long browsing the great blogs, columns and articles included in them.

The Carnival of Family Life was hosted by Be A Good Dad, which is great advice in itself.

I read Oh Yea? So What Is YOUR Child Wearing? posted at scribbit yesterday and woke up still laughing this morning.

Sherry's daughter shares Ainsley's taste in clothes in this piece, She has her own sense of style posted at Chaos Theory.

Erica Douglas recommends we should Stop Trying To Be a Perfect Parent posted at Littlemummy.Com. I agree, "good enough" is better than perfection, and might actually be achieved.

Tracee Sioux, that's me, presents The Voice in My Head posted at So Sioux Me.

supermom_in_ny presents Target, Bratz and the Number 11 posted at Snow White, 7 Dwarves and PDD. It's a great little piece about understanding, or getting a glimpse of, what goes on inside her PDD (autistic spectrum disorder) son's mind.

Lori Radun, CEC presents Finding Peace in Letting Go posted at The Mom Coach. It reminds me of how annoyed I was when Ainsley got stuck on defense the whole soccer season. Who knew I would care so much?

The other carnival worth getting into is Law of Attraction hosted by my friend Karen over at Live the Power.

I may not have shared this at Blog Fabulous but after The Secret aired on Oprah I totally got into this idea that we attract what we want in our lives through our thoughts. I wrote a column about how it effected me on So Sioux Me, which is featured in this carnival.

If you keep having a life you don't really want, but maybe you don't know what to do about it - this carnival is a good place to start.

This is a great quote from John Crenshaw's article The One Idea That Took 23 Years To Understand And Changed My Life ForeverDominate Your Life.

"You see, self-doubt is a hereditary disease, it’s an airborne contagion that sucks the life out of otherwise intelligent people and relegates them to a life of mediocrity. It’s passed on by the people who fill your life and, especially, by your parents."

I like these questions, "IF having money is important to me and if I don't have the amount I want, what is this telling me about myself, my relationship with my higher self and my connection to The All? Where am I not feeling worthy? Why would I create lack....what are those beliefs? Why would I hold myself back from the life I want and envision? What am I afraid of?" featured on My Spiritual Secret Dance in an article called Money and Flow. She says she uses money as a barometer of her success.

The Daily Positive submission is about letting go of ego. He realizes that he can change his emotions because he created them and it reminds me of my own realization about self-righteous anger and putting that in check.

Okay, so read up on the carnivals. You will definitely learn something!

By Tracee Sioux

I think generosity and gratefulness are two attributes kids should learn early. It is very hard to teach empathy to a 33 year old, but much easier to teach it to 3, 4, and 5 year olds.

In our family we donate 10% of everything we bring in. It's a sound principle.

Giving away money away instills blessings of faith. Faith that there will be enough money to meet my needs, even if I give a substantial amount of money away.

Giving instills generosity in your spirit - God is so generous with me that I can afford to be generous with others.

Giving instills gratefulness - I have food and clothes and shelter and cars, I am so blessed that I can afford to help those who may not be as blessed as I am.

We have a tradition twice a year at Ainsley's birthday and at Christmas of going through her things and choosing which ones we will give to "the poor kids."

Throughout the year I look for real teaching moments. Recently, a family's home burned down and I took all the baby and kid clothes and dishes I had been saving for a garage sale. I asked Ainsley if she had anything to give a kid who lost all of her things in a fire, and she went to her precious book collection and selected six or seven to give away.

Recently, I've begun putting aside a portion of our income to give away to people that God puts in our path. With my kids in tow, I have twice given the cashier at the grocery store money to pay for another person's groceries. I don't know why God wants them to have my $22 or $44, I just have faith that God chose them to be behind me in line knowing that they will receive my offering.

Every single time I feel butterflies in my stomach, I get a little nervous and my heart starts to beat a little faster. Mostly because people react suspiciously and want to know my motive. They always ask, Are you sure? As if I may have gone a little crazy and perhaps I might need some help myself. Especially if I've just put something from my own grocery cart back because I went a little over budget, then the cashier starts to look for help to deal with the crazy lady who wants to pay for a strangers groceries while she can't afford her own.

Last week I called about purchasing a used television because mine is on the blink. I hadn't planned on buying a new TV that day, but I had some time to kill and the want ads in my hands and a cell phone. There was only one listing.

The woman said she had hurt her leg and been out of work and they were going to turn the electricity off so she had to sell the TV quick, she wanted $80 for the TV and said she'd throw in her nearly-new VCR. I told her I'd come look at it.

I'm going to give you this $120 for your light bill. Then you can afford to keep your TV, I told her.

Oh No! You've got to at least take the TV, why would you do that? You can't afford to do that, you've got 2 kids to take care of! Why? Why? she screamed, waking the baby.

If I do something kind for you. Then one day, when someone is in need, you will do something kind for them. Then the world is a better place, right? So, I can afford this and we aren't going to take your only TV.

The sweet woman showed me her light bill as proof that she really needed the money. Said she had a job at a boy's home starting on Monday but they were going to disconnect her lights before she got paid. Said she had had a house burn down and none of the churches would help her because she didn't attend and the Red Cross hadn't helped either.

She started to weep and said, no one has ever done anything this kind for me before. You must be an angel sent by God.

How sad. That this woman, old enough to have grown kids, had never had anyone show her any kindness. It's about time someone did a random act of kindness for her - don't you think? I have been blessed many times by strangers, friends and family. In fact, I continue to be so blessed that I very rarely buy my kids' clothes and they always have way more clothes than they need.

In the car I asked Ainsley what she thought of that whole scene.

Mommy, you should have taken that TV! Now we still don't have a TV!

We have a small TV that we can watch until we get a big TV. But, don't you think God will take care of us because we helped that poor woman?

Oh Mommy, God is going to be so happy about you giving her that money and leaving her TV! You are so nice!

Only after this exchange had taken place did it occur to me that perhaps it was not my TV, but my Dish receiver that was malfunctioning. Yesterday, I spent an hour on the phone renegotiating my contract. A technician is coming on Thursday and bringing a free DVR with him and I betcha my TV will work just fine.

Try a random act of kindness this week. Pay your blessings forward. Give a stranger a helping hand: buy someone a tank of gas or some groceries or help them fill a prescription and see how right it feels.

Let your kids see you do it, let them participate, and you will raise generous and grateful children who grow into generous and grateful adults. Then the planet really is a better place to live.

by Tracee Sioux

Last Thursday I saw an Oprah on The Secret, a new DVD, and I had it overnighted for a party I was throwing. It changed everything for me.

The Secret is the law of attraction.

If I focus my thoughts on good things, then good things will happen in my life. If I focus on negative things, well, then negative things will happen in my life. The people on the video, people who live by The Secret, guarantee that if you live your life accepting this law of the universe then you can have anything you want.

I have heard the principles included in The Secret all my life.

Ask and ye shall receive, seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be opened.

Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us. Ephesians 3:20

The key for me is two-fold:

I am allowed to WANT things for my self and my family. At first glance the video seemed very focused on things: cars, houses, bikes, etc. But, I think that's because it is tangible and easily documented. And I've always been told and had this guilt about wanting nice things for myself or my family.

Does it make me selfish to want a big beautiful home where my family feels cozy and happy to spend time there? Does it make me selfish to want a really nice beautiful car that gets me from point A to B with class and style?

For many years we've been asking, "God, just give us just enough to make it and pay our bills." And that is exactly what he's been giving us. Just enough and no more. Well, now I'm asking for abundance in everything!

According to The Secret, it does not make me selfish to want these things, nor does it make me selfish to actively pursue them because these things are available to everyone. All they have to do is have the faith that God will bless them with them.

This is key for me. If there Is enough to go around and there is no principle of lack or limitation in the world then I do not have to be ashamed of myself for taking these things from anyone else. If they want these things, they too can have them. How freeing is that? For me, quite freeing!

What's most amazing to me is that what I want was right there. It didn't take me two days to know the truth about what I've always wanted deep in my heart. It was beyond simple to write several pages in my journal about what I REALLY want my life to look like. I've always wanted primarily the same things, I just believed it was selfish to want it, believed if I got it someone else would have to go without, believed that I would face disappointment if I allowed myself to want it. I didn't really feel that I was worthier than anyone else, now I realize that EVERYONE is worthy, including myself.

My new year's resolution was to control my thoughts and emotions better. This was before I knew The Secret. I was reading The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People and realized I was constantly focusing on what was outside my own circle of concern - things that I can't change. And worse, I was focusing on what I didn't want for others. For instance, I spent quite a bit of time focusing on my mother-in-law's pain. According to The Secret focusing on her pain created more pain for her. What I should have done and will now start doing is focusing on comfort and peace and feelings of physical pleasure for her, thus helping her to create more of that.

I've been a negative thinker for most of my life - thinking about what I don't want instead of what I do want.

This is a bizarro example: I left all my journals and letters and memorabilia and souvenirs and photographs and negatives in my cousin's basement in Connecticut three years ago when we left New York. I often thought about my stuff, wanting to send for it and never having the money to ship it back to me. But, I was also kind of afraid of it, like it might bring back some of the terribleness of some of my past experiences, so I never made sure there was enough money to get it back. When I thought about this stuff I would always think of a flood in her basement, like I was warding off a flood. Like, oh I hope there is never a flood that will destroy my stuff in her basement. So, today I pop on my email and there are all these forwarded emails from my cousin. So I email her and ask about my stuff.

FLOOD!

For real, there was a flood that destroyed all the papers from my past, all of it.

According to The Secret what I should have done is visualize all my stuff safe and sound and cozy in her basement. But, then I wouldn't be completely and totally freed from my past would I?

What I truly want is to be a hugely successful writer, helping women empower themselves and their daughters. I truly want a family that is so stinking happy and affectionate all the time that we make people crave it. I want a marriage that's passionate and affectionate. I want a big beautiful home and a fantastic car and I want money that comes frequently and easily so I am empowered to give lots of it away to others who need it.

It feels so good to me to just be allowed to want this stuff.

And just watch, I know I'm going to get it. For God has given me this word personally,

Neglect not the gift that is in thee, which was given thee by prophecy, with the laying on of hands by the presbytery.

Meditate upon these things, give thyself wholly to them; that they profiting may appear to all.

Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee. I Timothy 4:14-16

Buy The Secret - you'll be glad you did.
http://shop.thesecret.tv/Shops/DVD_Offer.php

Read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey.
www.franklincovey.com

by Tracee Sioux

I signed my daughter up for indoor soccer this season. The coach called me to invite me to a meeting of the parents and girls to determine the team colors and discuss when and where practices would be. As an after-thought she mentioned the team's new name would be "The Bratz."

"What?"
"Bratz, you know like the dolls."
"Are you kidding?"
"Well, no, it's called the Bratz."
"Do we have to call them the brats?"
"Well, we have to have a name."
"Well, can't we pick something positive? I would prefer about any other name than the Bratz. I mean, do we want to be yelling to our preschoolers, "Go Brats Go, be the best little brats you can be? I mean, I don't even let my daughter play with those Bratz dolls and I certainly don't want to encourage her to act like a brat or be a brat."
"Well, no one else has looked at it like that, we can discuss it at the meeting and talk to the commissioner about changing the name."

Okay, so I was a little apprehensive about going to the meeting yesterday. I even thought it might be easier to not let my daughter play soccer than face that poor coach who got an ear full of my anti-Bratz propaganda.

Really, I was concerned that this fellow mother would hate me for making such a big deal about this. I was also more than a little worried that I would handle the situation very poorly and look hysterical and crazy because they wanted to brand my daughter a brat. Then who would look like a brat? Me. And all the other parents would band against me and decide that I was just the trouble-maker who wouldn't let anyone have any fun at all.

So, I go up to this strikingly beautiful woman at the meeting and introduce myself and the baby. Of course, hoping that the cute, fat baby would endear me to her. I even start up a banal conversation about whether or not she has to wear heals to work. Stupid and awkward.

The meeting starts and she says, "Okay, who hear objects to the name Bratz?"

I alone raised my hand high. Everyone looks around and I feel like caving to avoid this confrontation with every other parent on the team."

"Look," I said. "I'm very uncomfortable with this name because I don't think we should be yelling Go Brats Go, Be the best little brat you can be. Brats Rule. I try all week long to NOT encourage my daughter to be a brat. I don't want her to act like those dolls and I don't let her dress like those dolls and I don't even let her play with the dolls. I'm just very uncomfortable with the name."

I was so grateful that I avoided saying they looked like whores who grew out of their clothes, which is what I usually say about those attrocious little beasts. And I didn't get into the symbolism of why their heads are so freakishly large - to fit their self-absorbed massive egos inside. Little battles for maturity inside myself.

Several people had warned me that I had better come up with a better name to substitute and I so wish I had. Frankly, the entire rest of the meeting was awkward with parents trying to think up a better name - I suggested Kickers but it wasn't cute enough. Someone suggested the Shortcakes, and I was agreeable. Then I suggested the Pink Panthers, but then it looked like there were several other teams with pink shirts and so we thought we should go with purple.

Every now and then some parent would glare at me and say, "Are you sure you don't like the name Bratz?"

And I would shrug and say, "yeah, I just don't think that's a great name for our girls."

A few parents wanted to point out that they don't let their daughters wear the make-up or dress like that - they're "just dolls."

But, I guess that's my problem, I don't think they are just dolls. I think they're a negative message about who the girls should emulate.

In the end we settled, quite unenthusiastically on Butterflies. Okay, nothing great about that, but nothing horrible about it either. Butterflies are nice, they embrace change and they are pretty and all the little four- and five-year-olds like butterflies.

Of course, the girls weren't as enthusiastic about butterflies as they had been about the Bratz. But, then I figure the girls are enthusiastic about what Matel, or in this case MGA Entertainment markets to them, which doesn't necessarily make it a good thing.

I did volunteer to arrange all the snacks for the season and we'll see if the other parents will hold a grudge or cooperate with my efforts.

I have to give props to the coach however. She was very nice when I went up and thanked her for volunteering to change the name. After all I am only one parent and they could have just shunned me. Hopefully the season will be a good experience for my daughter.

I do feel triumphant, if a little embarrassed, for standing up for what I believe even though it's hugely unpopular and I want my daughter to learn to do that.