by Tracee Sioux
One way to empower yourself and your family is to meet the neighbors. The theory behind National Night Out is that if your neighbors know you, they pay attention to who is coming and going from your house. You're less likely to be a victim of a crime if your neighbors are involved. The hope is that they'll say, Hey, that looks a little sketchy, and call the police should someone break in.
I remember having the run of the neighborhood when I was a kid. America was either safer then, or we just weren't aware that so many of our neighbors were terrible human beings not worth knowing.
I don't live in the best neighborhood in town. I know only one of my neighbors and he's a little off, given to random fits of screaming. I feel slightly guilty for judging these people, my neighbors, who are probably a mix of naughty and nice, without even knowing who they are.
Today I noticed lots of National Night Out signs in prosperous neighborhoods. Surely, if I lived in one of those neighborhoods I'd be more inclined to know my neighbors right?
It begs the question: Is it more empowering to acknowledge your neighbors if they are a little shady or vanish inside the house and group everyone in the whole neighborhood as "a stranger" for the benefit of empowering a daughter? According to the National Sex Offender Registry there are quite a few convicted sex offenders in my neighborhood and that doesn't make me want to run right out with a batch of cookies.
NATIONAL NIGHT OUT is designed to:
* Heighten crime and drug prevention awareness;
* Generate support for, and participation in, local anticrime programs;
* Strengthen neighborhood spirit and police-community partnerships; and
* Send a message to criminals letting them know that neighborhoods are organized and fighting back.
I saw one sign in my neighborhood a few blocks down. The lawn was mowed and the house kept up. Perhaps I'll stop by for some punch and cookies just so I can say I'm a part of the solution rather than part of the problem. Perhaps you should too.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Fascinating Carnies
I do try to grow the readership of my blogs by submitting to blog carnivals. Blog Carnivals are fascinating reading and highly educational and entertaining.
This week we have the Live the Power Unlimited carnival which focuses on manifesting positive changes in your life. I particularly enjoyed the entry about the benefits of aerobic exercise ,comparing the costs of popping pills to lower cholesteral and blood pressure versus the cost of taking a jog to the same effect. For some reason it seems so much easier to take the pills sometimes. I wonder why. I also enjoy these entries 7 Things Successful People Would Never Say , and Suffering is Optional, and Eliminate the Things that Irritate You.
Carnival of Conflict is presented over at Talk Lab. I read the Marriage vs. Money article and couldn't help but wonder how she makes compromise sound so easy and fun in her marriage versus how it's really quite painful in my own.
The most fascinating for me, this month, was browsing This Is Not My Country. It's a collection of political articles dealing with everything from immigration to free speech on the web. I think it's fascinating to read because everyone presents such a drastically different perspective about what's wrong with America and her politics.
This week we have the Live the Power Unlimited carnival which focuses on manifesting positive changes in your life. I particularly enjoyed the entry about the benefits of aerobic exercise ,comparing the costs of popping pills to lower cholesteral and blood pressure versus the cost of taking a jog to the same effect. For some reason it seems so much easier to take the pills sometimes. I wonder why. I also enjoy these entries 7 Things Successful People Would Never Say , and Suffering is Optional, and Eliminate the Things that Irritate You.
Carnival of Conflict is presented over at Talk Lab. I read the Marriage vs. Money article and couldn't help but wonder how she makes compromise sound so easy and fun in her marriage versus how it's really quite painful in my own.
The most fascinating for me, this month, was browsing This Is Not My Country. It's a collection of political articles dealing with everything from immigration to free speech on the web. I think it's fascinating to read because everyone presents such a drastically different perspective about what's wrong with America and her politics.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Priorities
by Tracee Sioux
The good is the enemy of the best.
So says John C. Maxwell in Developing the Leader Within You. I'm reading the chapter on priorities as I try to balance my work, with my family, with my relatives, with my church, with my exercise, with my budget, with my friends, with my community involvement.
I've simply become uncomfortably busy and I dislike it. I think it's costing me something.
My kids are upset when I work because they aren't actually getting "quality" time, they are just getting run all over town doing good deeds for people, maintenance of life errands, going to the gym or expected to amuse themselves while I write.
They are with me, but without my attention.
I think everything I do is, in some way, important to someone. If it's not an important activity for me, I find my husband thinks it's vital.
Maxwell says the key to being a leader is to say no to the good and only say yes to the best. People who try to do everything, he says, are mediocre at everything. People who try to do one thing become great at that one thing.
I find myself being mediocre at a lot of things, late more often than I should be, and not being able to focus on the things I really want to do. Yet, I can't help but feel guilty about the good things I say no to, like running errands for an elderly relative, babysitting a child whose parents are sick or teaching my daughter's Sunday school class. It's not just my guilt holding me back either, I find people's reactions when I try to say no less than pleasant. Several times I've found people to be downright angry about my saying no to good things.
Yes, you can try to have it all, but you won't be any good at it, seems to be the moral of the story. How women struggle with this issue.
Hopefully, my daughter's generation will have more experience and history behind trying to have it all and will learn to choose what is best versus what is good. I can tell you it doesn't feel at all empowering to be doing everything, just a little sloppily.
The good is the enemy of the best.
So says John C. Maxwell in Developing the Leader Within You. I'm reading the chapter on priorities as I try to balance my work, with my family, with my relatives, with my church, with my exercise, with my budget, with my friends, with my community involvement.
I've simply become uncomfortably busy and I dislike it. I think it's costing me something.
My kids are upset when I work because they aren't actually getting "quality" time, they are just getting run all over town doing good deeds for people, maintenance of life errands, going to the gym or expected to amuse themselves while I write.
They are with me, but without my attention.
I think everything I do is, in some way, important to someone. If it's not an important activity for me, I find my husband thinks it's vital.
Maxwell says the key to being a leader is to say no to the good and only say yes to the best. People who try to do everything, he says, are mediocre at everything. People who try to do one thing become great at that one thing.
I find myself being mediocre at a lot of things, late more often than I should be, and not being able to focus on the things I really want to do. Yet, I can't help but feel guilty about the good things I say no to, like running errands for an elderly relative, babysitting a child whose parents are sick or teaching my daughter's Sunday school class. It's not just my guilt holding me back either, I find people's reactions when I try to say no less than pleasant. Several times I've found people to be downright angry about my saying no to good things.
Yes, you can try to have it all, but you won't be any good at it, seems to be the moral of the story. How women struggle with this issue.
Hopefully, my daughter's generation will have more experience and history behind trying to have it all and will learn to choose what is best versus what is good. I can tell you it doesn't feel at all empowering to be doing everything, just a little sloppily.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Empowered By Children's Healthcare Expansion
By Tracee Sioux
Population Connection just sent me a letter that made me feel totally empowered. I had sent letters to all of my representatives insisting they vote in favor of extending and expanding the State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP). I had also asked readers of So Sioux Me to write their Representatives as well. I feel proud to have participated and I feel proud of my readers who participated.
The only way Americans can be empowered is if we use our power to demand what we want from our elected Representatives. Writing letters, is, I believe, an effective way to communicate with those we've put in office about our expectations of them.
The State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP) was passed by the House by a vote of 224-204.
The President has threatened to veto the expansion of SCHIP.
The controversy, an extremely relevant and important one for girl empowerment, extends to the federally funded abstinence-only sex education provision. The provision will require that programs be medically and scientifically accurate and that they be based on a model that has been proven effective at reducing unintended pregnancy and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.
From a girl empowerment standpoint misinformation or uninformation about how she can get pregnant or how she might contract a sexually transmitted disease, both of which carry lifelong consequences, is never to a girls' benefit.
A girl is entitled to know how her body functions and what the medically accurate consequences for her sexual behavior might be. Not telling her how she might contract an STD or become pregnant has the practical effect of leaving her with a baby and an STD through ignorance.
Withholding or giving inaccurate information is patently unfair, and I believe, immoral, from the girls' standpoint.
I understand that parents want the right to tell their children what they feel is appropriate about sex. Feel free. Please, tell them abstinence is the only way to be 100% safe. By all means, encourage them to wait until they are more mature and totally committed. No one wants teenagers to have sex - it's a bad idea. Teenage sex has real consequences.
However, since parents aren't the ones facing parenthood at 14-years-old and they aren't the ones contracting cancer-causing HPV or life-threatening AIDS, the girls' right to medically accurate information supersedes the parents' right to withhold information from their children.
In practicality, parents are the last ones to know what kind of actual sexual activity is going on with their kids. How many parents have had to sit through the terrifying and shocking news that their teenage daughter is pregnant? The whole design of having sex as a teenager is to keep it from the parents, especially the really, really devout Christian ones.
Not telling girls the truth about how their biological reproductive systems work leaves a lot of room for a boy, whose objective is to get laid, to tell girls oh, you can't get pregnant if I pull out, you can't get pregnant if you do it in a hot tub, if I don't put it all the way in you won't get pregnant, that's not an STD it's just a scab from too much masturbating, I've been checked out and I don't have anything, condoms are just not intimate enough I want to be able to feel you, a blow job isn't really sex.
It's been a while, but I'm pretty positive such ploys are still in being used in parked cars and parentally vacant houses all over America, not to mention all the illicit sexual activity that goes on between teenagers in the church youth group.
We owe our girls enough medically accurate information to be able to take care of themselves sexually. Without medically accurate information, we make victims of them needlessly and that's never empowering.
It is also relevant to point out that under the provision, states and school districts still have the right to determine which curriculum to present in their schools, as long as it's medically accurate information. Obviously more conservative areas will choose to focus more on abstinence.
An empowered girl understands the consequences of sexual activity, and God willing makes better decisions, because she's been given accurate information about her own body.
Population Connection just sent me a letter that made me feel totally empowered. I had sent letters to all of my representatives insisting they vote in favor of extending and expanding the State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP). I had also asked readers of So Sioux Me to write their Representatives as well. I feel proud to have participated and I feel proud of my readers who participated.
The only way Americans can be empowered is if we use our power to demand what we want from our elected Representatives. Writing letters, is, I believe, an effective way to communicate with those we've put in office about our expectations of them.
The State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP) was passed by the House by a vote of 224-204.
The President has threatened to veto the expansion of SCHIP.
The controversy, an extremely relevant and important one for girl empowerment, extends to the federally funded abstinence-only sex education provision. The provision will require that programs be medically and scientifically accurate and that they be based on a model that has been proven effective at reducing unintended pregnancy and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.
From a girl empowerment standpoint misinformation or uninformation about how she can get pregnant or how she might contract a sexually transmitted disease, both of which carry lifelong consequences, is never to a girls' benefit.
A girl is entitled to know how her body functions and what the medically accurate consequences for her sexual behavior might be. Not telling her how she might contract an STD or become pregnant has the practical effect of leaving her with a baby and an STD through ignorance.
Withholding or giving inaccurate information is patently unfair, and I believe, immoral, from the girls' standpoint.
I understand that parents want the right to tell their children what they feel is appropriate about sex. Feel free. Please, tell them abstinence is the only way to be 100% safe. By all means, encourage them to wait until they are more mature and totally committed. No one wants teenagers to have sex - it's a bad idea. Teenage sex has real consequences.
However, since parents aren't the ones facing parenthood at 14-years-old and they aren't the ones contracting cancer-causing HPV or life-threatening AIDS, the girls' right to medically accurate information supersedes the parents' right to withhold information from their children.
In practicality, parents are the last ones to know what kind of actual sexual activity is going on with their kids. How many parents have had to sit through the terrifying and shocking news that their teenage daughter is pregnant? The whole design of having sex as a teenager is to keep it from the parents, especially the really, really devout Christian ones.
Not telling girls the truth about how their biological reproductive systems work leaves a lot of room for a boy, whose objective is to get laid, to tell girls oh, you can't get pregnant if I pull out, you can't get pregnant if you do it in a hot tub, if I don't put it all the way in you won't get pregnant, that's not an STD it's just a scab from too much masturbating, I've been checked out and I don't have anything, condoms are just not intimate enough I want to be able to feel you, a blow job isn't really sex.
It's been a while, but I'm pretty positive such ploys are still in being used in parked cars and parentally vacant houses all over America, not to mention all the illicit sexual activity that goes on between teenagers in the church youth group.
We owe our girls enough medically accurate information to be able to take care of themselves sexually. Without medically accurate information, we make victims of them needlessly and that's never empowering.
It is also relevant to point out that under the provision, states and school districts still have the right to determine which curriculum to present in their schools, as long as it's medically accurate information. Obviously more conservative areas will choose to focus more on abstinence.
An empowered girl understands the consequences of sexual activity, and God willing makes better decisions, because she's been given accurate information about her own body.
Arguing = Better Pay
By Tracee Sioux
Obey.
Don't argue.
This is not negotiable.
Just do what you're supposed to to.
Quit complaining about it.
I catch myself telling my daughter this kind of stuff all day long. While we're teaching daughters to be good girls are we costing them future professional success?
According to an article By Shankar Vedantam of WashingtonPost.com on MSNBC.com we're giving girls the impression that to negotiate for a better salary is simply not nice.
Some Ivy League experts suggest the reason professional women are making 23% less than male professionals is because women do not negotiate their pay or ask for more professional opportunities. Even when told negotiating would be rewarded, only 58% of women did it in one study.
For good reason. Another study suggests that the interviewers and bosses have a real negative perception of women who negotiate and are less likely to hire or promote them. Women, it seems, rely on intuition and other factors - such as the gender of the interviewer - when gauging whether asking for a raise will be perceived negatively or positively. Men, according to all the studies in this article, were less likely to want to work with a woman who had asked for a raise, while they don't mind when men asked for more.
Next time your daughter argues back consider giving a response that might help her better her assertive negotiating skills.
I like the way your thinking.
What you're saying makes a lot of sense.
Perhaps we should reconsider that rule.
Maybe we should raise your allowance.
Would the world collapse if girls were given positive reinforcement for negotiating or would they simply be willing to take more risks, be more assertive with future authority figures and make more money as adults? Not just a tiny bit more, but over $300,000 is the current the estimate of what a lifetime of "accepting what is offered" costs female professionals. And those are the women who never took time off to have children.
As parents of millennial daughters we have a responsibility to prepare them for the world they will be entering, not the one we wish they were entering.
In that world they will be best served if they have some negotiation skills and feel empowered to insist on what they need. Perhaps then we should put less focus on being nice and more focus on being assertive. While we're at it we might suggest to our sons that it's okay for girls to ask for what they need.
Read the original article for more details on the studies.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Bloghers Act
I just posted on Blogher why I think Blogher should choose health care as our pet project for Blogher's Act, a bi-partisan initiative for women bloggers to influence government in a positive way. There is current discussion on what the pet topic will be.
All women deserve health coverage - breast cancer research does us no good if we can't afford the cure. It also does us no good to be diagnosed with post partum depression and get the help we need if it means we're uninsurable in the future.
If presented the right way I think all women can get behind access to health coverage for everyone.
For bloggers there are some really easy and tangible ways to effect the change.
* Carry around voter registration cards and hand them to people you talk to on the street, neighbors, people at church, other parents at school. There are MILLIONS of Americans who do not vote. We can seriously influence voter turnout by simply making it very easy to register. You can pick up voter registration cards for free and it doesn't even cost a stamp to send it.
* Bloggers can make an effort to report on the average persons health care concerns. Real people you know having real serious problems with their insurance companies or being denied coverage or receiving inaccurate and excessive bills from doctors. We've been silent long enough. This method illustrates that this is not happening to "others" it is happening to "us," good hardworking American citizens.
* Put links to organizations like Congress.org that makes it really simple for readers to sent letters to their elected officials letting them know that this is the American People's issue, not a partisan one and we expect them ALL, Republican and Democrat, to take it seriously and commit to a better plan.
To encourage Blogher to pick healthcare as its Blogher's Act issue please send an email to: cooper-emily@themotherhood.com or post a comment at Blogher's Community page.
All women deserve health coverage - breast cancer research does us no good if we can't afford the cure. It also does us no good to be diagnosed with post partum depression and get the help we need if it means we're uninsurable in the future.
If presented the right way I think all women can get behind access to health coverage for everyone.
For bloggers there are some really easy and tangible ways to effect the change.
* Carry around voter registration cards and hand them to people you talk to on the street, neighbors, people at church, other parents at school. There are MILLIONS of Americans who do not vote. We can seriously influence voter turnout by simply making it very easy to register. You can pick up voter registration cards for free and it doesn't even cost a stamp to send it.
* Bloggers can make an effort to report on the average persons health care concerns. Real people you know having real serious problems with their insurance companies or being denied coverage or receiving inaccurate and excessive bills from doctors. We've been silent long enough. This method illustrates that this is not happening to "others" it is happening to "us," good hardworking American citizens.
* Put links to organizations like Congress.org that makes it really simple for readers to sent letters to their elected officials letting them know that this is the American People's issue, not a partisan one and we expect them ALL, Republican and Democrat, to take it seriously and commit to a better plan.
To encourage Blogher to pick healthcare as its Blogher's Act issue please send an email to: cooper-emily@themotherhood.com or post a comment at Blogher's Community page.
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Tuesday, August 7, 2007
National Night Out
by Tracee Sioux
One way to empower yourself and your family is to meet the neighbors. The theory behind National Night Out is that if your neighbors know you, they pay attention to who is coming and going from your house. You're less likely to be a victim of a crime if your neighbors are involved. The hope is that they'll say, Hey, that looks a little sketchy, and call the police should someone break in.
I remember having the run of the neighborhood when I was a kid. America was either safer then, or we just weren't aware that so many of our neighbors were terrible human beings not worth knowing.
I don't live in the best neighborhood in town. I know only one of my neighbors and he's a little off, given to random fits of screaming. I feel slightly guilty for judging these people, my neighbors, who are probably a mix of naughty and nice, without even knowing who they are.
Today I noticed lots of National Night Out signs in prosperous neighborhoods. Surely, if I lived in one of those neighborhoods I'd be more inclined to know my neighbors right?
It begs the question: Is it more empowering to acknowledge your neighbors if they are a little shady or vanish inside the house and group everyone in the whole neighborhood as "a stranger" for the benefit of empowering a daughter? According to the National Sex Offender Registry there are quite a few convicted sex offenders in my neighborhood and that doesn't make me want to run right out with a batch of cookies.
NATIONAL NIGHT OUT is designed to:
* Heighten crime and drug prevention awareness;
* Generate support for, and participation in, local anticrime programs;
* Strengthen neighborhood spirit and police-community partnerships; and
* Send a message to criminals letting them know that neighborhoods are organized and fighting back.
I saw one sign in my neighborhood a few blocks down. The lawn was mowed and the house kept up. Perhaps I'll stop by for some punch and cookies just so I can say I'm a part of the solution rather than part of the problem. Perhaps you should too.
One way to empower yourself and your family is to meet the neighbors. The theory behind National Night Out is that if your neighbors know you, they pay attention to who is coming and going from your house. You're less likely to be a victim of a crime if your neighbors are involved. The hope is that they'll say, Hey, that looks a little sketchy, and call the police should someone break in.
I remember having the run of the neighborhood when I was a kid. America was either safer then, or we just weren't aware that so many of our neighbors were terrible human beings not worth knowing.
I don't live in the best neighborhood in town. I know only one of my neighbors and he's a little off, given to random fits of screaming. I feel slightly guilty for judging these people, my neighbors, who are probably a mix of naughty and nice, without even knowing who they are.
Today I noticed lots of National Night Out signs in prosperous neighborhoods. Surely, if I lived in one of those neighborhoods I'd be more inclined to know my neighbors right?
It begs the question: Is it more empowering to acknowledge your neighbors if they are a little shady or vanish inside the house and group everyone in the whole neighborhood as "a stranger" for the benefit of empowering a daughter? According to the National Sex Offender Registry there are quite a few convicted sex offenders in my neighborhood and that doesn't make me want to run right out with a batch of cookies.
NATIONAL NIGHT OUT is designed to:
* Heighten crime and drug prevention awareness;
* Generate support for, and participation in, local anticrime programs;
* Strengthen neighborhood spirit and police-community partnerships; and
* Send a message to criminals letting them know that neighborhoods are organized and fighting back.
I saw one sign in my neighborhood a few blocks down. The lawn was mowed and the house kept up. Perhaps I'll stop by for some punch and cookies just so I can say I'm a part of the solution rather than part of the problem. Perhaps you should too.
Fascinating Carnies
I do try to grow the readership of my blogs by submitting to blog carnivals. Blog Carnivals are fascinating reading and highly educational and entertaining.
This week we have the Live the Power Unlimited carnival which focuses on manifesting positive changes in your life. I particularly enjoyed the entry about the benefits of aerobic exercise ,comparing the costs of popping pills to lower cholesteral and blood pressure versus the cost of taking a jog to the same effect. For some reason it seems so much easier to take the pills sometimes. I wonder why. I also enjoy these entries 7 Things Successful People Would Never Say , and Suffering is Optional, and Eliminate the Things that Irritate You.
Carnival of Conflict is presented over at Talk Lab. I read the Marriage vs. Money article and couldn't help but wonder how she makes compromise sound so easy and fun in her marriage versus how it's really quite painful in my own.
The most fascinating for me, this month, was browsing This Is Not My Country. It's a collection of political articles dealing with everything from immigration to free speech on the web. I think it's fascinating to read because everyone presents such a drastically different perspective about what's wrong with America and her politics.
This week we have the Live the Power Unlimited carnival which focuses on manifesting positive changes in your life. I particularly enjoyed the entry about the benefits of aerobic exercise ,comparing the costs of popping pills to lower cholesteral and blood pressure versus the cost of taking a jog to the same effect. For some reason it seems so much easier to take the pills sometimes. I wonder why. I also enjoy these entries 7 Things Successful People Would Never Say , and Suffering is Optional, and Eliminate the Things that Irritate You.
Carnival of Conflict is presented over at Talk Lab. I read the Marriage vs. Money article and couldn't help but wonder how she makes compromise sound so easy and fun in her marriage versus how it's really quite painful in my own.
The most fascinating for me, this month, was browsing This Is Not My Country. It's a collection of political articles dealing with everything from immigration to free speech on the web. I think it's fascinating to read because everyone presents such a drastically different perspective about what's wrong with America and her politics.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Priorities
by Tracee Sioux
The good is the enemy of the best.
So says John C. Maxwell in Developing the Leader Within You. I'm reading the chapter on priorities as I try to balance my work, with my family, with my relatives, with my church, with my exercise, with my budget, with my friends, with my community involvement.
I've simply become uncomfortably busy and I dislike it. I think it's costing me something.
My kids are upset when I work because they aren't actually getting "quality" time, they are just getting run all over town doing good deeds for people, maintenance of life errands, going to the gym or expected to amuse themselves while I write.
They are with me, but without my attention.
I think everything I do is, in some way, important to someone. If it's not an important activity for me, I find my husband thinks it's vital.
Maxwell says the key to being a leader is to say no to the good and only say yes to the best. People who try to do everything, he says, are mediocre at everything. People who try to do one thing become great at that one thing.
I find myself being mediocre at a lot of things, late more often than I should be, and not being able to focus on the things I really want to do. Yet, I can't help but feel guilty about the good things I say no to, like running errands for an elderly relative, babysitting a child whose parents are sick or teaching my daughter's Sunday school class. It's not just my guilt holding me back either, I find people's reactions when I try to say no less than pleasant. Several times I've found people to be downright angry about my saying no to good things.
Yes, you can try to have it all, but you won't be any good at it, seems to be the moral of the story. How women struggle with this issue.
Hopefully, my daughter's generation will have more experience and history behind trying to have it all and will learn to choose what is best versus what is good. I can tell you it doesn't feel at all empowering to be doing everything, just a little sloppily.
The good is the enemy of the best.
So says John C. Maxwell in Developing the Leader Within You. I'm reading the chapter on priorities as I try to balance my work, with my family, with my relatives, with my church, with my exercise, with my budget, with my friends, with my community involvement.
I've simply become uncomfortably busy and I dislike it. I think it's costing me something.
My kids are upset when I work because they aren't actually getting "quality" time, they are just getting run all over town doing good deeds for people, maintenance of life errands, going to the gym or expected to amuse themselves while I write.
They are with me, but without my attention.
I think everything I do is, in some way, important to someone. If it's not an important activity for me, I find my husband thinks it's vital.
Maxwell says the key to being a leader is to say no to the good and only say yes to the best. People who try to do everything, he says, are mediocre at everything. People who try to do one thing become great at that one thing.
I find myself being mediocre at a lot of things, late more often than I should be, and not being able to focus on the things I really want to do. Yet, I can't help but feel guilty about the good things I say no to, like running errands for an elderly relative, babysitting a child whose parents are sick or teaching my daughter's Sunday school class. It's not just my guilt holding me back either, I find people's reactions when I try to say no less than pleasant. Several times I've found people to be downright angry about my saying no to good things.
Yes, you can try to have it all, but you won't be any good at it, seems to be the moral of the story. How women struggle with this issue.
Hopefully, my daughter's generation will have more experience and history behind trying to have it all and will learn to choose what is best versus what is good. I can tell you it doesn't feel at all empowering to be doing everything, just a little sloppily.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Empowered By Children's Healthcare Expansion
By Tracee Sioux
Population Connection just sent me a letter that made me feel totally empowered. I had sent letters to all of my representatives insisting they vote in favor of extending and expanding the State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP). I had also asked readers of So Sioux Me to write their Representatives as well. I feel proud to have participated and I feel proud of my readers who participated.
The only way Americans can be empowered is if we use our power to demand what we want from our elected Representatives. Writing letters, is, I believe, an effective way to communicate with those we've put in office about our expectations of them.
The State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP) was passed by the House by a vote of 224-204.
The President has threatened to veto the expansion of SCHIP.
The controversy, an extremely relevant and important one for girl empowerment, extends to the federally funded abstinence-only sex education provision. The provision will require that programs be medically and scientifically accurate and that they be based on a model that has been proven effective at reducing unintended pregnancy and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.
From a girl empowerment standpoint misinformation or uninformation about how she can get pregnant or how she might contract a sexually transmitted disease, both of which carry lifelong consequences, is never to a girls' benefit.
A girl is entitled to know how her body functions and what the medically accurate consequences for her sexual behavior might be. Not telling her how she might contract an STD or become pregnant has the practical effect of leaving her with a baby and an STD through ignorance.
Withholding or giving inaccurate information is patently unfair, and I believe, immoral, from the girls' standpoint.
I understand that parents want the right to tell their children what they feel is appropriate about sex. Feel free. Please, tell them abstinence is the only way to be 100% safe. By all means, encourage them to wait until they are more mature and totally committed. No one wants teenagers to have sex - it's a bad idea. Teenage sex has real consequences.
However, since parents aren't the ones facing parenthood at 14-years-old and they aren't the ones contracting cancer-causing HPV or life-threatening AIDS, the girls' right to medically accurate information supersedes the parents' right to withhold information from their children.
In practicality, parents are the last ones to know what kind of actual sexual activity is going on with their kids. How many parents have had to sit through the terrifying and shocking news that their teenage daughter is pregnant? The whole design of having sex as a teenager is to keep it from the parents, especially the really, really devout Christian ones.
Not telling girls the truth about how their biological reproductive systems work leaves a lot of room for a boy, whose objective is to get laid, to tell girls oh, you can't get pregnant if I pull out, you can't get pregnant if you do it in a hot tub, if I don't put it all the way in you won't get pregnant, that's not an STD it's just a scab from too much masturbating, I've been checked out and I don't have anything, condoms are just not intimate enough I want to be able to feel you, a blow job isn't really sex.
It's been a while, but I'm pretty positive such ploys are still in being used in parked cars and parentally vacant houses all over America, not to mention all the illicit sexual activity that goes on between teenagers in the church youth group.
We owe our girls enough medically accurate information to be able to take care of themselves sexually. Without medically accurate information, we make victims of them needlessly and that's never empowering.
It is also relevant to point out that under the provision, states and school districts still have the right to determine which curriculum to present in their schools, as long as it's medically accurate information. Obviously more conservative areas will choose to focus more on abstinence.
An empowered girl understands the consequences of sexual activity, and God willing makes better decisions, because she's been given accurate information about her own body.
Population Connection just sent me a letter that made me feel totally empowered. I had sent letters to all of my representatives insisting they vote in favor of extending and expanding the State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP). I had also asked readers of So Sioux Me to write their Representatives as well. I feel proud to have participated and I feel proud of my readers who participated.
The only way Americans can be empowered is if we use our power to demand what we want from our elected Representatives. Writing letters, is, I believe, an effective way to communicate with those we've put in office about our expectations of them.
The State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP) was passed by the House by a vote of 224-204.
The President has threatened to veto the expansion of SCHIP.
The controversy, an extremely relevant and important one for girl empowerment, extends to the federally funded abstinence-only sex education provision. The provision will require that programs be medically and scientifically accurate and that they be based on a model that has been proven effective at reducing unintended pregnancy and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.
From a girl empowerment standpoint misinformation or uninformation about how she can get pregnant or how she might contract a sexually transmitted disease, both of which carry lifelong consequences, is never to a girls' benefit.
A girl is entitled to know how her body functions and what the medically accurate consequences for her sexual behavior might be. Not telling her how she might contract an STD or become pregnant has the practical effect of leaving her with a baby and an STD through ignorance.
Withholding or giving inaccurate information is patently unfair, and I believe, immoral, from the girls' standpoint.
I understand that parents want the right to tell their children what they feel is appropriate about sex. Feel free. Please, tell them abstinence is the only way to be 100% safe. By all means, encourage them to wait until they are more mature and totally committed. No one wants teenagers to have sex - it's a bad idea. Teenage sex has real consequences.
However, since parents aren't the ones facing parenthood at 14-years-old and they aren't the ones contracting cancer-causing HPV or life-threatening AIDS, the girls' right to medically accurate information supersedes the parents' right to withhold information from their children.
In practicality, parents are the last ones to know what kind of actual sexual activity is going on with their kids. How many parents have had to sit through the terrifying and shocking news that their teenage daughter is pregnant? The whole design of having sex as a teenager is to keep it from the parents, especially the really, really devout Christian ones.
Not telling girls the truth about how their biological reproductive systems work leaves a lot of room for a boy, whose objective is to get laid, to tell girls oh, you can't get pregnant if I pull out, you can't get pregnant if you do it in a hot tub, if I don't put it all the way in you won't get pregnant, that's not an STD it's just a scab from too much masturbating, I've been checked out and I don't have anything, condoms are just not intimate enough I want to be able to feel you, a blow job isn't really sex.
It's been a while, but I'm pretty positive such ploys are still in being used in parked cars and parentally vacant houses all over America, not to mention all the illicit sexual activity that goes on between teenagers in the church youth group.
We owe our girls enough medically accurate information to be able to take care of themselves sexually. Without medically accurate information, we make victims of them needlessly and that's never empowering.
It is also relevant to point out that under the provision, states and school districts still have the right to determine which curriculum to present in their schools, as long as it's medically accurate information. Obviously more conservative areas will choose to focus more on abstinence.
An empowered girl understands the consequences of sexual activity, and God willing makes better decisions, because she's been given accurate information about her own body.
Arguing = Better Pay
By Tracee Sioux
Obey.
Don't argue.
This is not negotiable.
Just do what you're supposed to to.
Quit complaining about it.
I catch myself telling my daughter this kind of stuff all day long. While we're teaching daughters to be good girls are we costing them future professional success?
According to an article By Shankar Vedantam of WashingtonPost.com on MSNBC.com we're giving girls the impression that to negotiate for a better salary is simply not nice.
Some Ivy League experts suggest the reason professional women are making 23% less than male professionals is because women do not negotiate their pay or ask for more professional opportunities. Even when told negotiating would be rewarded, only 58% of women did it in one study.
For good reason. Another study suggests that the interviewers and bosses have a real negative perception of women who negotiate and are less likely to hire or promote them. Women, it seems, rely on intuition and other factors - such as the gender of the interviewer - when gauging whether asking for a raise will be perceived negatively or positively. Men, according to all the studies in this article, were less likely to want to work with a woman who had asked for a raise, while they don't mind when men asked for more.
Next time your daughter argues back consider giving a response that might help her better her assertive negotiating skills.
I like the way your thinking.
What you're saying makes a lot of sense.
Perhaps we should reconsider that rule.
Maybe we should raise your allowance.
Would the world collapse if girls were given positive reinforcement for negotiating or would they simply be willing to take more risks, be more assertive with future authority figures and make more money as adults? Not just a tiny bit more, but over $300,000 is the current the estimate of what a lifetime of "accepting what is offered" costs female professionals. And those are the women who never took time off to have children.
As parents of millennial daughters we have a responsibility to prepare them for the world they will be entering, not the one we wish they were entering.
In that world they will be best served if they have some negotiation skills and feel empowered to insist on what they need. Perhaps then we should put less focus on being nice and more focus on being assertive. While we're at it we might suggest to our sons that it's okay for girls to ask for what they need.
Read the original article for more details on the studies.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Bloghers Act
I just posted on Blogher why I think Blogher should choose health care as our pet project for Blogher's Act, a bi-partisan initiative for women bloggers to influence government in a positive way. There is current discussion on what the pet topic will be.
All women deserve health coverage - breast cancer research does us no good if we can't afford the cure. It also does us no good to be diagnosed with post partum depression and get the help we need if it means we're uninsurable in the future.
If presented the right way I think all women can get behind access to health coverage for everyone.
For bloggers there are some really easy and tangible ways to effect the change.
* Carry around voter registration cards and hand them to people you talk to on the street, neighbors, people at church, other parents at school. There are MILLIONS of Americans who do not vote. We can seriously influence voter turnout by simply making it very easy to register. You can pick up voter registration cards for free and it doesn't even cost a stamp to send it.
* Bloggers can make an effort to report on the average persons health care concerns. Real people you know having real serious problems with their insurance companies or being denied coverage or receiving inaccurate and excessive bills from doctors. We've been silent long enough. This method illustrates that this is not happening to "others" it is happening to "us," good hardworking American citizens.
* Put links to organizations like Congress.org that makes it really simple for readers to sent letters to their elected officials letting them know that this is the American People's issue, not a partisan one and we expect them ALL, Republican and Democrat, to take it seriously and commit to a better plan.
To encourage Blogher to pick healthcare as its Blogher's Act issue please send an email to: cooper-emily@themotherhood.com or post a comment at Blogher's Community page.
All women deserve health coverage - breast cancer research does us no good if we can't afford the cure. It also does us no good to be diagnosed with post partum depression and get the help we need if it means we're uninsurable in the future.
If presented the right way I think all women can get behind access to health coverage for everyone.
For bloggers there are some really easy and tangible ways to effect the change.
* Carry around voter registration cards and hand them to people you talk to on the street, neighbors, people at church, other parents at school. There are MILLIONS of Americans who do not vote. We can seriously influence voter turnout by simply making it very easy to register. You can pick up voter registration cards for free and it doesn't even cost a stamp to send it.
* Bloggers can make an effort to report on the average persons health care concerns. Real people you know having real serious problems with their insurance companies or being denied coverage or receiving inaccurate and excessive bills from doctors. We've been silent long enough. This method illustrates that this is not happening to "others" it is happening to "us," good hardworking American citizens.
* Put links to organizations like Congress.org that makes it really simple for readers to sent letters to their elected officials letting them know that this is the American People's issue, not a partisan one and we expect them ALL, Republican and Democrat, to take it seriously and commit to a better plan.
To encourage Blogher to pick healthcare as its Blogher's Act issue please send an email to: cooper-emily@themotherhood.com or post a comment at Blogher's Community page.
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