Holy Canoly the paper that comes into this house.

Last year I was unprepared for the plethora of paper that came into the house from school, work, home work, Sunday School and church activities.

My daughter was emotionally attached to every single scrap she drew a letter, number or picture on.

I had no strategy and by the end of the year we were drowning in paper. It took me 8 straight hours of sitting in her room sorting and talking her into throwing it out.

I get it. I get very attached to my work too. I just don't keep it in paper form anymore.

She was in Kindergarten.

The thought of us trying to tread paper until she graduated from high school was overwhelming.

I found out about a woman in our town who collects paper, cardboard and milk jugs and sells it to recyclers.

She uses the money recyclers pay her - trash is big business - to feed hungry poor families.

There's the motive to become emotionally unattached to all of our paper work.

As soon as they walk through the door, there's a "Good Work! Honey," from Mommy. Then straight to the recycling bin it goes. It has to be very, very special to make it into the "save binder." If it's not very special then . . .
We'll turn our homework in to food for poor and hungry families.

God Bless America!

Last week was heavy with emotionally charged information. So Sexy So Soon is a lot to digest before we get into something new. It took weeks for me to get over the shock from reading that book enough to write about it. Receiving such information and acting on it isn't easy.

Today we're going to lighten up!

Also, I'm crazed with postings for a MASSIVE giveaway on Blogtoberfest on Blog Fabulous!

Here's your official invitation to visit Blog Fabulous and win tons of really, really great stuff. (((Psst. It's not just BlogFabulous, it's the whole Lifestyle's Channel and we're giving $7,000 worth of stuff away.)))

With today's economy, I'm already hoarding Christmas gifts. How about you?

Giving stuff away over there seemed so easy and fun that I thought I'd do a massive giveaway in honor of my pending redesign. My super cool designer, Heather from Desperately Seeking Wordpress is working on it as we speak.

So far I've gotten several empowering items to giveaway for my upcoming redesign extravaganza promotion. If you have a product you'd like to see featured here and want to generously donate it to my loyal and conscientious audience - email me at traceesioux at yahoo dot com with Empowering Girls Giveaway in the post.

I also wanted to remind you of my open call for photos of girls doing what they do and being who they are. If you have a daughter and want to see her picture on this girl empowerment blog - send me one. Details at Poster Girls.

Today's Poster Girl is Dani and she's uses this chainsaw in her art. Her mother, Cindi Lavin is also an artist. She writes Layer Upon Layer, where she's giving tons of stuff away for Blogtoberfest.

At Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me, I loath problems without solutions.

Thankfully, the authors of So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood and What Parents Can Do to Protect Their Kids have not only researched he problem, but provided parents and educators with action steps.

1. Change the Laws - If deregulation of children's media caused this problem, then reregulation of children's media can fix it. A law that makes marketing directly to children under 12 illegal protects children makes sense. Marketers claim they have freedom of speech. In fact, the Constitution says nothing about protecting Corporations, marketing or advertising rights to market to children - it speaks only of people. Marketers can still sell their products - to PARENTS. Requiring that they make products that PARENTS believe are appropriate for their children. Adults are more savvy consumers and can deconstruct advertising - children can not. Marketers have a predatory advantage against children currently.

Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood has a list of laws currently before congress. Go to the list, read the laws and use their simple links to write your representatives to pass law that protects our children's sexuality rather than exploits it. It's an election year and now is the best time to see action.

2. Get involved with children's advocacy groups. Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood has run a successful campaign to get Bratz out of Scholastic Book Fairs in schools and stop marketing for the new provocative 90210 on school bus radio. Sign up for the CCFC e-newsletter.

Parents for Ethical Marketing is another non-profit group with a great blog Corporate Babysitter to keep parents informed and fight predatory marketing.

Shaping Youth is encouraging marketers to sell a better message to kids.

There are others like Mediawise.org with great research and resources.

Subscribe to this RSS Feed to get my passionate and inspired perspective.

3. Screen, Filter and Ban Sexualized Content. Sit down with your kids and decide what your boundaries are. Limit the amount of marketing that finds it's way into your child's brain.

* Be aware that the rating system is voluntary, E's reality lineup, Girls Next Door, Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Sunset Tan, and Dr. 90210 are rated TV-14.

* Be aware that many inappropriate shows are unrated. Commercials are not rated at all.

* Video games and Internet ratings are also currently voluntary.

* Beaware that lots of advertising is popping up at school - in report cards, reading rewards, rewards for good behavior, in text books, signage, on Bus Radio, on Channel One, Corporate Sponsorships and fundraisers, etc.

4. Know Your Kid's Media - the days when we can trust media and marketers are gone. Read their books, watch their shows, visit their websites, listen to their music and watch their television. Monitor their email and Facebook, MySpace, Twitters and Blogs. Advertising is in all of those places.

5. Get beyond "Just Say No." Saying no about every single thing has been shown to further tear away at the parent-child relationship. Marketers use this and reinforce it in the marketing. Instead, open a dialogue and negotiate boundaries with them. Explain what you find objectionable about the product and allow the child to participate in boundary making.

6. Be open about Sex. I was shocked when sex came up directly. Ainsley was only 4. Then I looked around and realized it was on the radio, on television, in commercials, at the check out - for it not to come up would have been weird. If you don't talk about sex with your kids - they will hear only the bad message from marketers.

7. Learn/Teach Media Literacy - What's the real message? Figure it out, then talk to your kids about the message. Show them how photoshop works, tell them how they are using inappropriate photos to lure children to buy items. Make them media-literate.

8. Processing Images - When children are exposed to extremely violent images or very inappropriate sexual images teachers and child psychologists have found that children have a need to process the information. Use art, drawing or painting and writing to allow your child to explore their feelings about inappropriate and frightening images.

9. Counteract Negative Stereotypes - We've come a long way baby, but the media - not so much. Sexualized media portrays boys as consumers and girls as products to be consumed. It portrays girls as the object on which to display sexual products like brand name clothing and sexual heals. When girls see themselves as objects on which sexuality is displayed, instead of inherently sexual beings, and boys view themselves as the consumer of the product, instead of inherently sexual beings that crave intimacy - no real sexually healthy identity occurs. Speak up! When you see this happening in media - point it out to your children and tell them your alternative views.

"I don't think the clothes are sexy, I think confidence and self-respect in girls is sexy,"

"I believe men want the same emotional intimacy as women," are key phrases that will help your children resist marketers objectifying sexual message.

10. Trust YOUR Instincts. Most parents know something funky is up. They didn't have the ability to articulate what was going on. I've often heard parents check their own reality - "Did they just say that on a children's show? Did that commercial just run during family programing? Can this really be happening? Am I imagining it or did this type of stuff not come up when I was growing up? Are the kids dressing worse for Halloween? Is that doll really a stripper?"

The answer is yes. They said it. They showed it. It is different. It is damaging. The toys really are sexual and the advertising really, really is that bad and getting worse every day.

Now that you know, what are you going to DO about it?

Read the rest of my So Sexy So Soon series:

So Sexy So Soon, Sexualized Childhood

So Sexy So Soon: Sex Education Quiz

So Sexy So Soon: Premature Adolescent Rebellion

Support reviews like these by purchasing So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood and What Parents Can Do to Protect Their Kids for people in your community - schools, churches and parents organizations through the links on this website.

When my mother came to visit this summer I asked her, "Mom, was I rebellious as a Kindergartner, a 6 or 7-year-old? Did I argue back about every single thing?"

"Not until you were 14," she said.

See, that's when I was expecting to have to deal with adolescent rebellion - when my kids were, you know. . .adolescents. I feel like Ainsley went from carefree toddler to experiencing adolescent pangs of angst in one short year and I hadn't properly devised a strategy to deal with it. I thought I had 10 more years of childhood.

I've been reading similar stories from parents in their blogs.

Until reading So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood and What Parents Can Do to Protect Their Kids I didn't know how to articulate it.

Diane Levin and Jean Kilbourne, authors of the book, have labeled the phenomenon: Pediatric Adolescent Rebellion.

It's symptoms are hysterical emotional outbursts, smarting off in sarcastic ways to parents (similar to the way Hannah Montana or Zack and Cody speak to their friends and family, anyone?), disregard for authority and an increased demanding by children to get their parents to buy stuff that promises to "make them happy."

It's primary source, according to the So Sexy authors, is a scientific approach by marketers to undermine parents - so they can sell more product and make their shareholders "happy."

Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood presents the "Have you Lost Your Marbles Awards," to companies that marketed most harmfully to children.

One year it went to the ad company who sent out a press release titled, "The Fine Art of Whining: Why Nagging is a Kid's Best Friend." The release then told marketers how best to exploit children's whining, or the "nag factor." citing studies that say 21 to 40 percent of sales from designer jeans to burgers and dolls results from nagging.

To pit child against parent to sell more stuff, in other words.

Where before corporations had to sell their products by convincing PARENTS the products would benefit their kids, now they are persuading KIDS to manipulate their parents into bowing to emotional terrorism.

If parents say "no" because a product isn't in the child's best interests the marketing gives kids the message they are unloved and unhappy. If the parent says "yes" the parent condones sexually inappropriate products that are harmful to the child's sexuality and identity.

Thus creating constant conflict between parent and child. Creating a phenomenon the authors are labeling "pediatric adolescent rebellion."

No longer is "Is this good for kids?" the concern of products marketed to children. Now the only question is "Can we make children want this product? Can we get kids to nag their parents into buying it?"

And the squabble between parent and child ensues in every conceivable location and situation they find themselves in - at the snack bar, during commercials, at restaurants, during televisions programs, passing billboards, books at the school book fair, video games, at the check-out counter, on the playground.

This type of advertising is even venturing into our schools in text books, book fairs, and reading rewards and sponsorships.

Much of this marketing has an underlying sexual message as we discussed previously in So Sexy So Soon: Sex Education Quiz and So Sexy So Soon: Sexualized Childhood.

One would have to move into an Amish Community to avoid direct marketing designed to get children to harass parents for things that aren't good for them.

All designed to exploit the nag factor and whittle away at the parent-child relationship.

So. Children. Will. Shop.

Marketers are organized. Parents are on their own.

Read more in this series at So Sexy So Soon: Sex Education Quiz and So Sexy So Soon: Sexualized Childhood.

Check out this page at Mediawise.org for startling statistics about where direct advertising to children is popping up.

You're probably thinking, "why do we have to choose between abstinence education and protecting our children from hyper-sexual media?

So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood and What Parents Can Do to Protect Their Kids very clearly explains that this is not the choice we face, it's the choice we have already made in America.

Why would Republicans push for abstinence-only education and then allow commando marketing to children with a hyper-sexual message?

Because they are not representing your values. They are using your values to get votes and then stimulating the economy by creating access to your children as a marketing target. The fact that the message is a hyper-sexualized one is of no concern to them.

Feminist friends, allow me to introduce you to my Religious Conservative friends. . .

You both have the same goal - raising children with a healthy sexuality - you should both feel betrayed by the way politicians and marketers have exploited your children's sexuality for profit.

So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood and What Parents Can Do to Protect Their Kids really articulated something I'd been feeling for a long time. Do you ever watch The View and want to scream at them - Joy, Whoopie and Elizabeth - all at the same time when they discuss sex education in schools? Joy talking about what it was like to want to do it with your fiance 40 years ago, Whoopie saying she wants to teach kids to put condoms on bananas, and Elizabeth wanting everyone to live in a Norman Rockwell painting, with Jesus playing the harp, but where she can wear $500 low-rise designer jeans.

Diane Levin and Jean Kilbourne gave me a much better understanding of my frustration when I watch those discussions.

We're all missing the point. While we're arguing about whether to tell kids about sex - marketers told them already. Marketers have an organized strategy to actively use every single opportunity they have to SELL sex to kids.

Because they want kids to have sex?

No silly. They don't give a flip whether kids do or don't have sex.

They just know that sex sells - even to small children - sex sells.

So while we're having our analytical and sometimes heated discussion the politicians turned marketers lose on kids.

Marketers have said, "parents and educators are better distracted anyway" and they proceed to sell clothing, dolls, toys, games, video games, actual sex and pornography, television shows, credit cards, beauty products, school suppolies, easy readers featuring toy hookers, and barbie doll-knock offs as strippers to kids using their own sexuality. They are selling a sexual message in children's books, in their commercials, in their video games, on their television programs and with their toys.

Every ad, every image, every message is hardwiring our children's brains to connect sex and their own sexuality and sexual value with objects.

Did you catch that? Their goal is to connect the child's sexuality and sexual emotions and sexual triggers in their brains to the objects and products they sell.

The ability to buy the products and wear them and look like them becomes an expression of the child's sexuality. The marketing message is encouraging children to be erotically turned on by labels and products that promise to make them happy. "To buy our products is hot," is the message they sell to children. To the point, where women are exchanging body parts for objects (boob job). (ie. Dr. 90210 is sexy advertising for plastic surgeons).

People aren't sexy. Prada is sexy. People aren't hot, the Abercrombie they wear are hot. People don't have value, their Coach bags have value. Boobs aren't sensual, silicone implants are sensual.

In the meantime, we're giving kids a naive little abstinence-only curriculum in a 45 minute class. The message of which seems entirely irrelevant, never mind statistically ineffective, in the face of the how incredibly successful this media onslaught on our children's sexuality is.

Hello, America! Abercrombie & Fitch bought 10 million dollars in advertising to name the Emergency Room at Columbus Children’s Hospital, tying the the label to both inappropriate sexuality and children's health simultaneously. As the blogger of Canoe Room points out - parental protests against Abercrombie & Fitch's sexualized ads have served only to make the brand more attractive to kids.

There are laws that prevent Marlboro from advertising to children - why not laws that prevent corporations with a similarly damaging sexualized message?

Religious Conservative friends, I'd like you to meet my Feminist Friends.

You both have the same goal, you just have slightly different motives.

Maybe we should try having the same conversation and devise an effective strategy to deal with a real and well-financed threat to our children.

Educators and Parents should read So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood and What Parents Can Do to Protect Their Kids for a well-researched, completely thorough, understanding of today's Sexualized Childhood.

Tune in tomorrow or subscribe to my RSS feed for more on solutions for Today's Sexualized Childhood.

Monday's story: So Sexy So Soon: Sexualized Childhood.

For more on how our children are being viewed as marketing targets visit Parents for Ethical Marketing.

Image Source: Canoe Room, by way of MomoLogic.

In the battle over our children - parents versus child rapists and child pornograhers - who would you place your bet on?

It seemed child pornographers and clubs like NAMBLA, the North American Man Boy Love Association, whose declared "hobby" is to rape children were winning. With 300,000 known predators the FBI was monitoring, but not arresting or prosecuting it seemed the only rational response was to run and hide.

But, hide where? They wear "good guy" camouflage and mingle among us, volunteering to coach soccer teams, lead the youth Sunday School, and play the part of the perfect step-parent or boyfriend to get close to kids.

But, after being exposed on Oprah a few weeks ago - Half a million, that's 500,000 Moms and Dads brought the Can of Whoop Ass on Child Pornographers in the way of the Senate Bill 1738—The PROTECT Our Children Act that passed last week!

That's right America. You emailed and called enough of your congressional leaders to say THERE ARE JUST SOME THINGS WORTH SPENDING MONEY ON and arresting rapists and child pornographers is one of those things!

While they were all gathered to debate the economic crisis. Oprah and I were nervous that they would overlook this very important bill to protect kids from sexual violence. Instead they took the opportunity to vote for the bill. (Ever noticed how much more likely they are to listen in election years?)

I am so proud of us.

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed people can change the world. Indeed it's the only thing that ever has."-Margaret Mead

To the 300,000 child rapists and child pornographers out there - I am so very sad that your families - your wives, children, parents, siblings and friends - will be devastated by your arrest. It is profoundly tragic that they will suffer so much.

Please, God don't let any of those 300,000 people about to be arrested for child pornography be in my life. And Please God, don't let the FBI arrest innocent people.

Oprah - Porn Ain't What It Used To Be.

I agree with Bill O'Reilly (SCREAM!!!)

Sexual Urban Legend

Cross Posted on Blog Fabulous.

I am so proud of us.

Give yourself a standing ovation!