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Monday, June 30, 2008

Empowering Girls: Goodbye Hannah

6E78CB30-1F75-46B9-8240-7AE838F9B336.jpg

Goodbye Hannah Montana.

I'm sick and tired of hearing your bratty little attitude and disrespect come out of my daughter's mouth.

Months ago I tried to blame ME for my daughter's snotty tone and disrespectful banter. I tried to ban my "tone" and keep you, Hannah, as harmless entertainment.

But, here's the thing: I add quality to my daughter's life whether I take a tone or not. I'm her mother and she's definitely better off with me than she is without me. There's no question that the benefit of me outweighs the cost of my tone.

It's unfortunate, but I can't say the same about you.

It has nothing to do with your back-exposure Miley, which I felt was a trumped up way for the media to call yet another girl a Whore, as we know that's their hobby. I feel bad about that.

It's Hannah's mouth and Hannah's attitude. That mouth and that dialogue is being used against ME.

My daughter thinks it's funny to imitate.

And I agree. It's funny to imitate.

But, if it's a choice between YOU and ME in my daughter's life. Well, I pick ME. Because I add quality and you, well, you don't. When your snotty, bratty, disrespectful banter comes out of my daughter's mouth - well, to be completely truthful, I feel like slapping her. I don't. But, really, it shouldn't take so much effort to stop the impulse.

Also, you're not really age-appropriate no matter how small you make the t-shirts or commando market to Kindergarteners and pre-schoolers.

She's listening to you talk about your "needs" and how your super-protective body guard is getting in the way of those needs.

Now I feel you're" needs" are probably to be kissed and to hold hands, though you left it vague.

But, that's too much information, and too vague, for my 6-year-old daughter. And again. I didn't really like your tone when you discussed your "needs" up with your dad. In fact, I thought your dad handled it poorly - like a shmuck. (While we're speaking of your parents I have to wonder - why exactly has Disney killed off all the girls' mothers, including yours?)

So, I took control of the remote. I couldn't figure out how to just block Hannah Montana so I blocked the entire Disney Channel. Truth be told I'm not a huge fan of your other influences Disney, what with the snotty attitude from Zack and Cody and the Princess Culture nightmare I've had to wade through with my daughter. Christine Fugate of Mothering Heights is banning you too.

So, there you are Disney Channel.

Blocked - Along with the Pay-Per-View Porn.

Read Tone Turtle.

"Tone Control"

Hannah Branding

Empowering Girls: Miley's Photo

Empowering Girls: Princess Culture Examined

12 comments:

Julie Pippert said...

Call me inhospitable but I never let her in. People kept trying to shove her in---stepmother buying my daughter a Hannah Montana barbie doll, for example, and sending a movie, friends assuring me Hannah was fine although she seemed too mature and bad example-y for a 6 and 3 year old---but I resisted.

I learned a long time ago that when people tell me to loosen up usually what they mean is "tell me it's okay to do this thing that I don't feel comfortable about but don't want to battle."

It's not my job to make other people feel okay about their choices; it's my job to make what I believe is the best choice for us, for my kids.

As for that photo, I was livid. I didn't take it as a chance for the media to call a girl a whore; I took it as a disgusting and hurtful (to Miley) example of the media and entertainment culture turning a girl into the *image* they wanted and then judging and castigating her for it.

Tracee said...

"I took it as a disgusting and hurtful (to Miley) example of the media and entertainment culture turning a girl into the *image* they wanted and then judging and castigating her for it."

That's what I mean - they set her up to call her a whore. As they do most women and girls.

I wanted to be "cool" and let Hannah in. I wanted her to be harmless. But, I've reached my limit and had enough.

It's been a week and Ainsley hasn't even complained about the ban.

mom said...

I love this post and wanted more info -- how did Ainsley react?

Hannah isn't in my house, I prefer being low media, but I'm anticipating a day when I will allow a bit more and have always thought taking the reigns back up must be sort of scary...

Do you worry about forbidden fruit or about her thinking you don't respect her choices? Believe me - I ask these questions as a mother with similar commitments -- I'm strategizing, NOT judging. Just wondering if you grapple with these choices at all -- b/c you seem so confident...

Tracee said...

Mom, interestingly from a strategy point of view she kind of seems to LIKE it when I pull back the reins.

Now, way back when she was 3 years old I called a halt to the Disney Princess thing. I could see the negative influence. So, I sat her down, explained why I thought they had to go and we sold her Princess stuff to the used bookstore and she was fine with it. She seemed to like the extra attention I gave her "girlness" when discussing what bad choices the Princesses make, how we don't wait for Princes to save us, etc. http://traceesioux.blogspot.com/2007/01/princess-ban.html

I find the same to be true with Hannah Montana. I avoided doing it for a while, for fear of hysterics and rebellion. But, when I finally did it and just said, Hannah Montana is banned, she's not appropriate and she speaks too rudely with too much attitude. We blocked the Disney Channel. She simply said, "OK."

And she hasn't asked for her back. She has expressed wistfulness about another girl's Hannah Montana branded swimsuit. That's it.

'That Girl' said...

The question about the absence of moms was an interesting one. I've never really thought about it, but all of these characters seem to have a lot more independence and freedom than everyday kids..they all seem to be in some odd scenario that gives them more power than a kid should have. And they make our children their own boundaries.

Tracee said...

Yeah, that's what I don't like about Hannah's dad. He's a dufus who acts like Hannah has a right to run the show and make her own decisions as long as she gets good grades. On the episode that tipped me over the edge she was TELLING him that she was going to fire the body guard. Wait, who's call is that?

But, if you'll notice: Hannah, dead mom; Enchanted, dead mom; Cinderella, dead mom; Belle, dead mom; Ariel, dead mom; Jasmine, no mom. What does Disney have against mothers?

Summer said...

But, even though she's dead Hannah's mom shows up occasionally in dreams to provide answers.

To me, the dead mom thing is a bit representative of the culture. Mom isn't important, she just has the kids and cleans the house then "dies". She's no longer young or pretty therefore no longer valuable, only the princess is worthwhile. They feared a backlash if they stuck mom back in the kitchen and made her voiceless so they killed her off instead.

Tracee said...

Here's what I don't get about "Princesses"? Why don't they understand that eventually they BECOME the mother?

that girl said...

I love this. Good for you. I've wondered so many times if it was healthy for 'little' girls to watch these shows w/ teenagers w/ their teenage problems and teenage mouths.. Good for you. I've been really careful about my boys watching violent shows and sexually explicit things - I mean power rangers is one thing - but there are gruesome things that come on Cartoon Network and sexual things that come on prime time and my husband and I look at each other like "What!? What did they just say at freak'n 7:30 at night!?". Forget that. We've tried real hard to stick w/ Thomas the Tank Engine and PBS kids in the morning and now they're on a Curious George jag.. Animal planet at night. But it's really bad when you have to carefully wade through media that is specifically designed for kids! Good for you for putting your foot down. I don't remember watching anything but cartoons at Ainsley's age. Were there even real 'shows' for small children back then?

that girl said...

I love this. Good for you. I've wondered so many times if it was healthy for 'little' girls to watch these shows w/ teenagers w/ their teenage problems and teenage mouths.. Good for you. I've been really careful about my boys watching violent shows and sexually explicit things - I mean power rangers is one thing - but there are gruesome things that come on Cartoon Network and sexual things that come on prime time and my husband and I look at each other like "What!? What did they just say at freak'n 7:30 at night!?". Forget that. We've tried real hard to stick w/ Thomas the Tank Engine and PBS kids in the morning and now they're on a Curious George jag.. Animal planet at night. But it's really bad when you have to carefully wade through media that is specifically designed for kids! Good for you for putting your foot down. I don't remember watching anything but cartoons at Ainsley's age. Were there even real 'shows' for small children back then?

Yaya said...

Good job! Seriously, what has happened to kids' tv shows these days?

Bridgett said...

Amen. We choose not to have cable -- not because the adults wouldn't enjoy it, but because we know that it's opening the door to an unpredictable stranger who might shout anything at our kid at any time. We wouldn't invite that kind of person over for ten hours a day and so we just decided that it was easier to forego some of the pleasures of viewing sports on demand to reap the greater good. The difference in behavior between kids with a steady diet of Disney and kids without becomes even more marked as they get older. You're doing yourself and your kid a huge favor.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Empowering Girls: Goodbye Hannah

6E78CB30-1F75-46B9-8240-7AE838F9B336.jpg

Goodbye Hannah Montana.

I'm sick and tired of hearing your bratty little attitude and disrespect come out of my daughter's mouth.

Months ago I tried to blame ME for my daughter's snotty tone and disrespectful banter. I tried to ban my "tone" and keep you, Hannah, as harmless entertainment.

But, here's the thing: I add quality to my daughter's life whether I take a tone or not. I'm her mother and she's definitely better off with me than she is without me. There's no question that the benefit of me outweighs the cost of my tone.

It's unfortunate, but I can't say the same about you.

It has nothing to do with your back-exposure Miley, which I felt was a trumped up way for the media to call yet another girl a Whore, as we know that's their hobby. I feel bad about that.

It's Hannah's mouth and Hannah's attitude. That mouth and that dialogue is being used against ME.

My daughter thinks it's funny to imitate.

And I agree. It's funny to imitate.

But, if it's a choice between YOU and ME in my daughter's life. Well, I pick ME. Because I add quality and you, well, you don't. When your snotty, bratty, disrespectful banter comes out of my daughter's mouth - well, to be completely truthful, I feel like slapping her. I don't. But, really, it shouldn't take so much effort to stop the impulse.

Also, you're not really age-appropriate no matter how small you make the t-shirts or commando market to Kindergarteners and pre-schoolers.

She's listening to you talk about your "needs" and how your super-protective body guard is getting in the way of those needs.

Now I feel you're" needs" are probably to be kissed and to hold hands, though you left it vague.

But, that's too much information, and too vague, for my 6-year-old daughter. And again. I didn't really like your tone when you discussed your "needs" up with your dad. In fact, I thought your dad handled it poorly - like a shmuck. (While we're speaking of your parents I have to wonder - why exactly has Disney killed off all the girls' mothers, including yours?)

So, I took control of the remote. I couldn't figure out how to just block Hannah Montana so I blocked the entire Disney Channel. Truth be told I'm not a huge fan of your other influences Disney, what with the snotty attitude from Zack and Cody and the Princess Culture nightmare I've had to wade through with my daughter. Christine Fugate of Mothering Heights is banning you too.

So, there you are Disney Channel.

Blocked - Along with the Pay-Per-View Porn.

Read Tone Turtle.

"Tone Control"

Hannah Branding

Empowering Girls: Miley's Photo

Empowering Girls: Princess Culture Examined

12 comments:

Julie Pippert said...

Call me inhospitable but I never let her in. People kept trying to shove her in---stepmother buying my daughter a Hannah Montana barbie doll, for example, and sending a movie, friends assuring me Hannah was fine although she seemed too mature and bad example-y for a 6 and 3 year old---but I resisted.

I learned a long time ago that when people tell me to loosen up usually what they mean is "tell me it's okay to do this thing that I don't feel comfortable about but don't want to battle."

It's not my job to make other people feel okay about their choices; it's my job to make what I believe is the best choice for us, for my kids.

As for that photo, I was livid. I didn't take it as a chance for the media to call a girl a whore; I took it as a disgusting and hurtful (to Miley) example of the media and entertainment culture turning a girl into the *image* they wanted and then judging and castigating her for it.

Tracee said...

"I took it as a disgusting and hurtful (to Miley) example of the media and entertainment culture turning a girl into the *image* they wanted and then judging and castigating her for it."

That's what I mean - they set her up to call her a whore. As they do most women and girls.

I wanted to be "cool" and let Hannah in. I wanted her to be harmless. But, I've reached my limit and had enough.

It's been a week and Ainsley hasn't even complained about the ban.

mom said...

I love this post and wanted more info -- how did Ainsley react?

Hannah isn't in my house, I prefer being low media, but I'm anticipating a day when I will allow a bit more and have always thought taking the reigns back up must be sort of scary...

Do you worry about forbidden fruit or about her thinking you don't respect her choices? Believe me - I ask these questions as a mother with similar commitments -- I'm strategizing, NOT judging. Just wondering if you grapple with these choices at all -- b/c you seem so confident...

Tracee said...

Mom, interestingly from a strategy point of view she kind of seems to LIKE it when I pull back the reins.

Now, way back when she was 3 years old I called a halt to the Disney Princess thing. I could see the negative influence. So, I sat her down, explained why I thought they had to go and we sold her Princess stuff to the used bookstore and she was fine with it. She seemed to like the extra attention I gave her "girlness" when discussing what bad choices the Princesses make, how we don't wait for Princes to save us, etc. http://traceesioux.blogspot.com/2007/01/princess-ban.html

I find the same to be true with Hannah Montana. I avoided doing it for a while, for fear of hysterics and rebellion. But, when I finally did it and just said, Hannah Montana is banned, she's not appropriate and she speaks too rudely with too much attitude. We blocked the Disney Channel. She simply said, "OK."

And she hasn't asked for her back. She has expressed wistfulness about another girl's Hannah Montana branded swimsuit. That's it.

'That Girl' said...

The question about the absence of moms was an interesting one. I've never really thought about it, but all of these characters seem to have a lot more independence and freedom than everyday kids..they all seem to be in some odd scenario that gives them more power than a kid should have. And they make our children their own boundaries.

Tracee said...

Yeah, that's what I don't like about Hannah's dad. He's a dufus who acts like Hannah has a right to run the show and make her own decisions as long as she gets good grades. On the episode that tipped me over the edge she was TELLING him that she was going to fire the body guard. Wait, who's call is that?

But, if you'll notice: Hannah, dead mom; Enchanted, dead mom; Cinderella, dead mom; Belle, dead mom; Ariel, dead mom; Jasmine, no mom. What does Disney have against mothers?

Summer said...

But, even though she's dead Hannah's mom shows up occasionally in dreams to provide answers.

To me, the dead mom thing is a bit representative of the culture. Mom isn't important, she just has the kids and cleans the house then "dies". She's no longer young or pretty therefore no longer valuable, only the princess is worthwhile. They feared a backlash if they stuck mom back in the kitchen and made her voiceless so they killed her off instead.

Tracee said...

Here's what I don't get about "Princesses"? Why don't they understand that eventually they BECOME the mother?

that girl said...

I love this. Good for you. I've wondered so many times if it was healthy for 'little' girls to watch these shows w/ teenagers w/ their teenage problems and teenage mouths.. Good for you. I've been really careful about my boys watching violent shows and sexually explicit things - I mean power rangers is one thing - but there are gruesome things that come on Cartoon Network and sexual things that come on prime time and my husband and I look at each other like "What!? What did they just say at freak'n 7:30 at night!?". Forget that. We've tried real hard to stick w/ Thomas the Tank Engine and PBS kids in the morning and now they're on a Curious George jag.. Animal planet at night. But it's really bad when you have to carefully wade through media that is specifically designed for kids! Good for you for putting your foot down. I don't remember watching anything but cartoons at Ainsley's age. Were there even real 'shows' for small children back then?

that girl said...

I love this. Good for you. I've wondered so many times if it was healthy for 'little' girls to watch these shows w/ teenagers w/ their teenage problems and teenage mouths.. Good for you. I've been really careful about my boys watching violent shows and sexually explicit things - I mean power rangers is one thing - but there are gruesome things that come on Cartoon Network and sexual things that come on prime time and my husband and I look at each other like "What!? What did they just say at freak'n 7:30 at night!?". Forget that. We've tried real hard to stick w/ Thomas the Tank Engine and PBS kids in the morning and now they're on a Curious George jag.. Animal planet at night. But it's really bad when you have to carefully wade through media that is specifically designed for kids! Good for you for putting your foot down. I don't remember watching anything but cartoons at Ainsley's age. Were there even real 'shows' for small children back then?

Yaya said...

Good job! Seriously, what has happened to kids' tv shows these days?

Bridgett said...

Amen. We choose not to have cable -- not because the adults wouldn't enjoy it, but because we know that it's opening the door to an unpredictable stranger who might shout anything at our kid at any time. We wouldn't invite that kind of person over for ten hours a day and so we just decided that it was easier to forego some of the pleasures of viewing sports on demand to reap the greater good. The difference in behavior between kids with a steady diet of Disney and kids without becomes even more marked as they get older. You're doing yourself and your kid a huge favor.