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Friday, February 29, 2008

1 Texas Vote for Hillary




I feel privileged to have taken the opportunity to vote for the first woman and the first mother to run for President of the United States. May I see many more opportunities in my lifetime and may my daughter take for granted the possibility that a woman will win!

CindyBailey62 Wins A New Earth

A New Earth

Because the prize has gone unclaimed and I really want someone to have A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61) by Eckhart Tolle I've drawn a new winner: CindyBailey62. Please email me at tracesioux @ yahoo.com with your mailing address Cindy so I can get this in the mail today. Congratulations!

Also Please remember my invitation to participate in the So Sioux Me community that will discuss the book simultaneously with Oprah's online course. Harpo has promised to give us special study material and resources and if the community grows they will give away a few signed copies of the book here. Exciting.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Science of Happiness


by Tracee Sioux

I love the Science of Happiness. You've heard of that neuroscientist, Richard J. Davidson, who studies what our brains do when they are happy and tells us how we can get more of it?

I was thinking. I'm 34 years old and I'm thrilled to apply new ways to be happy - meditating, yoga, hot baths, time to myself, time with my famiy and friends, acts of service, inspiring art on the wall, and a passion for writing.

But, what if my daughter (and son) doesn't have to wander around for 30 years not knowing how to be happy?

What if I taught her the tried and true scientific methods to be happy straight from the go just like I taught her how to read and add. Surely, how to be happy is as valuable and fundamental a life-skill as that?

There was an article in O Magazine about 5 things we can do for ourselves to learn to be happy. I've taken the liberty of adapting the list for my daughter. Feel free to adapt it for your own family.

1. Do what you love. I can help her learn what her natural talents are and give her an opportunity to explore and develop those skills.

2. Learn new things. Right now she's taking Taekwondo and loving it.

3. Teach her the significance of NOW and how to avoid "if only" thinking. If I can teach her that happiness is a choice and now is the only time she can grasp it I'll consider my job as a parent well done.

4. Encourage social interaction with best friends and create and environment where her friendships flourish. Obviously this implies teaching her how to be a good friend.

5. Allow her to be happy. Don't burden her with unnecessary guilt and issues.

Don't we all just want to raise happy girls? Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could teach them happiness as a skill?

Revolutionary.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Girl Characters and Geena Davis


The Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media works with entertainment creators and companies, educates the next generation of content-creators, and informs the public about the need to increase the number of girls and women in media aimed at kids and to reduce stereotyping of both males and females.

From the website: Three years ago, while watching children's television programs and videos with her then 2-year old daughter, Academy Award winner Geena Davis noticed a remarkable imbalance in the ratio of male to female characters. From that small starting point, Davis went on to raise funds for the largest research project ever undertaken on gender in children's entertainment (resulting in 4 discrete studies, including one on children's television).

The research showed that in the top-grossing G-rated films from 1990-2005, there were three male characters for every one female - a statistic that did not improve over time.

The concern was clear:

What message does this send to young children?

According to the study released this month: Not only were there fewer females, but the nature in which the females were depicted was questionable. They were either objectified and sexualized or portrayed as extremely traditional.

Dr. Smith and her team also examined 4000 female film characters and found that two types of females often frequent film: the traditional and the hypersexual. For example, females are over five times as likely as males to be shown in alluring apparel and are roughly three times as likely as males (10.6% vs. 3.4%) to be shown with an unrealistically “ideal” body.

The same problem was shown to exist in television aimed at audiences of children: Females in kids’ fare are almost four times as likely as males to be shown in sexy attire (20.7% vs. 5.4%) and nearly twice as likely as males to be shown with a small waist line (25.6% vs. 14.4%).

Animated females in TV for kids are more likely to be shown in sexually revealing attire than are live action females (24.5% vs. 17.4%). Also, females in animated TV stories for children are more likely to have small waists (36.9% vs. 6.9%) and have an unrealistic body shape (22.7% vs. 1.2%) than are females in live action TV stories for children.

Though, females are not the only ones hypersexualized in TV
content for children,
the report noted. Animated males are more likely than live action males to have a large chest (15.4% vs. 4.9%), small waist (18.4% vs. 4.3%), and an unrealistically muscularized physique (12.5% vs. .5%).

At the Institute's recent conference in January it was noted that such hypersexualization of children's characters contributes to low self esteem, poor body image and eating disorders in children.
For more detailed information you can read An Analysis of Popular Films and TV.

According to the report: In fact, research on television reveals that the participation of women writers and producers increases the percentage of females on screen.

What can You do? The Institute is having a contest called "I Want to See Jane!" The Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media doesn't want any Jane to grow up believing she is only worthy of sidekick status. That's where our I Want to See Jane Campaign for girls and women comes in. YOU can be involved by spreading the word and telling your story, and your story could end up in the first GDIGM documentary!

It's easy! Just tape yourself talking about the female character who meant the most to you when you were growing up.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

1943 Guide to Hiring Women


Thank goodness our daughters can expect somewhat better treatment from future employers than this: 1943 Guide to Hiring Women posted by Contrariwise Ramblings.

It should be noted though that we're not out of the woods yet, as just the other day I heard a female county employee say she was having a difficult time finding a suitable secretary who was not of childbearing age. I know it's illegal, but you know they can be so undependable, she noted. The irony was the at the woman herself was of childbearing age.

Hello?

Back to the article, my favorite excerpts include that young married women are more responsible than their unwed sisters and less flirtatious, "Husky" girls (apparently their euphemism for fat) are more friendly and outgoing than under-weight women, employers were encouraging to perform gynecological physical examinations to avoid "feminine ailments", and to give girls breaks to apply more lipstick and fix their hair.

Is it any wonder that laws about gender discrimination are necessary?

Monday, February 25, 2008

A New Earth Community at So Sioux Me


I'm thrilled to award a copy of Eckhart Tolle's book A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61) to ldrnc2000. Please email me at traceesioux{at}yahoo.com to give me your address within the next 48 hours. If prize is unclaimed I will give to the next name drawn.

But, don't go anywhere if you didn't win this copy. I'm excited to announce that I've been invited by Oprah's staff to lead a community discussion of the book simultaneously with the online course. I invite you to hang out and participate in the discussion here on So Sioux Me.

A landmark interactive spiritual event is on the horizon. Starting Monday, March 3rd, Oprah Winfrey and best selling author and spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle will team up to teach a live weekly webcast centered around Mr. Tolle’s book "A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61)," Oprah’s latest book club selection. This revolutionary webcast is being hailed "the biggest classroom ever", and is free.

The course lasts 10 weeks, and will be live each Monday at 8pm CST. Each week will cover one of the 10 chapters in the book, with the discussion on our site following the same topic.

I am thrilled to say we will be participating in this breakthrough interactive event. Join us as we discuss the book, the Web Event, and spiritual journey itself. Sign up is free at oprah.com/anewearth. Following the Monday March 3 launch webcast, we’ll start to discuss Eckhart Tolle’s ‘A New Earth’ right here.

Be sure to add me to your RSS feed and to the right you'll see a place to subscribe via email.

I've finished A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61)and it really will change your life - if you want it to.

Math Perceptions


Taken from xkcd, also appearing on feministing.

Friday, February 22, 2008

A House Divided


Zackie say Hillary Mama!

hillly

Ainsley I'll give you $5 if you can teach him to say Hillary.

eeellee

Say Hillary, Hillary, go Hillary! Vote for the girl! Ainsley shouts.

lillaly

ooh lillaly!

Don't listen to them Zack! Say Go Bama!

Oh Mama!

Go Bama! Obama!

mama!

Hillary!

lillaly!

Obama!

ball

Vote for the mama! Vote!

boat

Vote for Obama!

boat

You love Mama, Vote for a mama!

Mama!

Seriously, I want to work the election on Primary Tuesday and I'm looking for a babysitter for this adorable kid for about 12 hours. My mother-in-law is in Peru. Anyone?

Pic taken from News-Journal.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Listen to Radio Podcast

To listen to my radio debut on Healthy Wealthy Wow on Grapevine Radio click this podcast link. I think it went really well. Click on today's date (3rd one down).

It was pretty fun too.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Talk Radio Interview

I'll be on the Healthy Wealthy Wow radio program on the Grapevine Talk Radio Network on Thursday at 1:29 CST.

I won a radio contest (which I wasn't even listening to)for the Law of Attraction Action Pack and now I get to go on the radio program and chat about how it's effected me.

It's an Internet radio program so be sure to tune in. I'll try to post the podcast up here once it's recorded so you'll be sure not to miss it.

Wish me luck!

Girly Trains


For the life of me I can not tell you why it never, not once, occurred to me to buy Ainsley a train set.

I've been shopping for Zack's 2nd birthday and realized there is a host of toy options for boys that I never considered for my daughter.

Of course, she would've enjoyed a train village. Why wouldn't she? I'm sure she'll get plenty of use out of Zack's.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Future President of The United States

A New Earth Oprah Giveaway

I gave away a copy of A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61), by Eckhart Tolle over on Blog Fabulous and it was so much fun I want to do it again!

This is the book Oprah is teaching an online course on beginning March 3 on Oprah.com. Who wants to miss that?

Please leave a comment and you'll be entered to win one copy of A New Earth. Regretfully, I can only accept U.S. entries, unless the person entering is willing to pay their own postage for the book.

Contest will remain open until Sunday, Feb. 24 at midnight Central time. Winner will be announced Monday, Feb. 25. You must register with your email address or I will have no way to contact you if you win. Ainsley will draw the name out of a hat.

Good Luck.

If you're feeling particularly lucky hop over to Prize-A-Tron to enter more contests.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Ainsley Shook President's Hand



by Tracee Sioux

Ainsley and I got to shake Bill Clinton's hand! Seriously. She got to meet Bill Clinton, I think he said something like thanks for coming or good to see you or something.

I was too busy recording the moment to really live it.

I don't really know if she understands the significance of the event. I hope though that it will allow her to feel like she has tangible access to politics.

I hope that she'll grow up feeling like she can create change in the world, like she can always do something to better her situation. I hope she'll feel like she has access to political power I guess. By which I mean that she doesn't feel apathetic or useless, shut out or irrelevant to the process.

We live in a democracy and that is something special and powerful. We can all have a voice and I, for one, feel this election is different than all elections before it because the Internet have really given people, women especially, a voice like they never had before. With access to a platform like the Blogosphere, it would be hard for women and other minority groups to remain disenfranchised much longer.

I remember a mock election at my school when I was in the 2nd grade. The contest was Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan. The principal got up in an assembly and chanted, Jimmy Carter has a way of messing up the USA. Ronald Reagan has a way of fixing up the USA.

Take a wild guess who won.

The point is that what we say now to our daughters, regardless of whether we're democrat or republican, is important. We can either make them feel shut out of the process for which they are entitled to participate - or - hopefully, make them feel empowered with complete access to this country's democratic process.

Read more about our first political rally on Blog Fabulous.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Ainsley's 1st Political Rally


I'm taking the kids to see their first former-President/future first-gentleman (is that the male derivative of First Lady?) today!

Yes, that would be Bill Clinton!

It is thrilling to me that I will have the opportunity to vote for the first female Presidential Candidate.

Taking the daughter out of school for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

What is more empowering than democracy? Nothing.

Very exciting. I hope it will make her feel like politics is accessible to her throughout her life. I hope she'll always feel like her voice counts. I hope to instill in her a sense of power and responsibility in democracy.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Be My Mr. Good Enough!


Do you think I should get you a Valentine?

I'm going to be seriously upset if you spend money on roses that die and please remember I hate the creams. In fact we don't need chocolate, there's still some from Christmas.

I was talking to her not you, my sweet husband pointed to our six-year-old daughter, Ainsley.

What?

You got a laptop and we're going to dinner. You're not getting me anything are you?

Do you want me to?

No.

Actually, I like to get roses and I would love more chocolate, Daddy. I'll make you a card. How come I can't go to dinner?

You get all those cards from your friends at school. Valentine's is for Mommy and Daddy to go to dinner. You get to go to Nana's

But, I want to be your valentine.

Okay, Daddy can be your valentine. Zack will you be my Valentine?

Mama!

Isn't it romantic?

Check out this worthy article, Marry Him, in The Atlantic by Lori Gottlieb. She makes the case for settling for Mr. Good Enough.

From Ms. Good Enough to Mr. Good Enough - Happy Valentine's Day!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Mom's World


To understand where we're going it's helpful to understand where we've been. Check out this flickr photoset called Mom's World. It's a photo-essay of a woman, Dotty, in the 1950s who documented her life. It's beautiful and fascinating.

Watch it with your daughter, she'll be equally transfixed.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Oprah University Contest - A New Earth


I'm running a contest over at BlogFabulous to give away one hardback copy of A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61), by Eckharty Tolle.

This is the book Oprah's teaching her online course on beginnning March 3. Leave a comment on the entry to enter. Winner will be drawn out of a hat and announced on Monday morning.

HPV Vaccine Reconsideration

by Tracee Sioux

About a year ago I took a stance that all girls should have access to the HPV (human papillomavirus virus) in my article HPV Vaccine, Right of All Girls To Health.

While I stand by my original logic, I've come across two bits of information that have me reconsidering the benefits of such a vaccine.

Did you see Christiane Northrup, the OB/GYN author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom: Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing on Oprah?

Northrup expressed that no one has conclusively proven that cervical cancer is caused by HPV, the virus that causes venereal warts.

From the interview, which can be found on Oprah.com.

"That vaccine is of great interest to me because there are over 100 different HPV types and this vaccine only targets four of them, and although they are associated with cervical cancer, nobody has ever proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that HPV is the cause of cervical cancer, Northrup said.

Dr. Northrup says only 3,500 women a year die of cervical cancer. "And the number decreases every year, so we're doing very well with Pap smears and other screening tests. So you should keep having those," she said.

But Dr. Northrup has some apprehension about the vaccine itself. "I'm very concerned about vaccinating girls 9 and over, every single one of them, with two vaccines," she says. "And I'm a little against my own profession. My own profession feels that everyone should be vaccinated."

Dr. Northrup would rather see the attention HPV is receiving directed elsewhere. "You see HPV associated with abnormal Pap smears in women who are on immunosuppressant drugs who have had kidney transplants or who have HIV disease. So it seems that that virus is associated with cancer in those whose immune system is already depressed, you see. So it's like a marker for a depressed immune system. Where I'd put my money is getting everybody on a dietary program that would enhance their immunity, and then they would be able to resist that sort of thing."

The other issue that got me thinking is the research I recently did on Precocious Puberty.

Something is amiss when an entire generation of girls are maturing earlier than all the generations of women before them. We don't know if early maturation is going to effect our girls post-puberty, into pregnancy, lactation and menopause.

Perhaps until we discover what factor, whether hormonal, social, environmental or chemical, is causing girls to develop early, we should add as few unknown substances to their little bodies as possible.

Monday, February 11, 2008

CCFC PG-13 Film Restrictions


I am sick to death of inappropriate commercials popping up during family or kids programing.

Here's the thing - We're a captive audience during commercials. I shouldn't have to spend so much time hollering "Ainsley close your eyes!" while watching television.

The FCC is a literal joke. They will take zero action ever. Well, they'll fine Janet Jackson for someone else ripping off her top on national television - but that's it.

In a letter responding to my complaint of a commercial of violence of a sexual nature so disgusting it turned my stomach the FCC responded that "each network was responsible for the content of their own commercials."

Essentially the government agency we've assigned to make sure nothing lewd gets shot across the airwaves to pollute my or my children's brain has decided the entertainment industry is allowed to show whatever they like during commercials.

Who made that stupid rule?

That's got to change. Which brings us to a group, Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, which is trying to take action with the film industry which seems to violate age-appropriate whenever possible.

From the press release: Led by CCFC, a coalition of twenty-one advocacy groups is demanding that the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) comply with the Federal Trade Commission's recent recommendation for explicit restrictions on the marketing of PG-13 films to young children.

In a letter sent last week to MPAA CEO Dan Glickman, CCFC urged the MPAA to develop a policy that would restrict the advertising of PG-13 films on children's television; prohibit restaurant toy giveaways or other food promotions aimed at young children for PG-13 movies; and insure that any toys released in conjunction with a film carry an age recommendation consistent with the film's rating.

This past summer, CCFC filed a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission that Transformers - rated PG-13 for "intense sequences of sci-fi action violence, brief sexual humor, and language - was being marketed extensively to preschool children through television advertising, food promotions and licensed toys. Last week, the FTC acted on CCFC's complaint by urging the MPAA to adopt guidelines for the marketing of PG-13 movies.

“Transformers is just one of a string of violent, PG-13 movies marketed to preschoolers,” said CCFC’s co-founder and director, Dr. Susan Linn. “For too long, the film industry has undermined its own rating system by bypassing parents to target young children directly with marketing for films that the industry itself has determined warrant parental caution.”

“Transformers is just one of a string of violent, PG-13 movies marketed to preschoolers,” said CCFC’s co-founder and director, Dr. Susan Linn. “For too long, the film industry has undermined its own rating system by bypassing parents to target young children directly with marketing for films that the industry itself has determined warrant parental caution.”

It's enough already. The CCFC does not accept corporate funding, but relies on donations if you're looking for a worthy cuase.

For more on my experience with the FCC read Misogynistic Violence for Breakfast.

Friday, February 8, 2008

RealAge Healthy Kids Test


by Tracee Sioux

Have you seen that show Honey We're Killing the Kids? The show you a family with terrible eating habits, fast forward what they'll look like when they're 40 and predict their life expectancy?

Of course they pick families with such terrible habits you can walk away feeling like you're doing a super parenting job just because you introduced fruit.

For a better indication of how you're doing you can take the RealAge Healthy Kids Test. Dr. Mehmet Oz and Dr. Michael Roizen you know, from Oprah and YOU: The Owner's Manual: An Insider's Guide to the Body that Will Make You Healthier and Younger have put together a Healthy Kid quiz. You can enter your kids' nutritional information, exercise habits, computer and television screen time, academic and social exposure and it will give you a score between 1 and 10.

It will also tell you how old your child will feel when they are 30 if they keep up the habits you're teaching them. For instance, When Ainsley is 34 she'll feel only 30 if she keeps her current habits through her lifetime.

It will then give you advice on where you need to make improvements. Ainsley got an 8 which put us above average in the kids' health department. (Zack got a perfect 10, I wonder why when most of my answers were the same?)

We need to work on flossing and visiting the dentist, having more dinners together, swim lessons and stress management to improve our score.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Zero Existence


by Tracee Sioux

I was thin as a young woman. Just the other day my sister-in-law said to me, I saw some pictures of you and you were so thin.

A friend of mine who knew me about 7 years ago also recently said, You were so tiny back then.

I was always "the thin one" between my best friend, Violet, and I.

The thing is - I was a size 8.

A size 8 was considered perfectly thin.

Violet, plagued with a weight problem, would mutter things like, If only I were a size 5 my life would be perfect.

I would always answer back, Don't be ridiculous. No one is a size 5. There's no way I could be a size 5 - I have bones. (This was before you could find a doctor who would remove a few ribs.)

I'm in a size 8 again today, but no one is calling me thin. Today, an 8 is considered fat, or at least something to work on. While a size Zero is considered to be thin.

My friend Violet just the other day said, I wish I were a size 5

To which a size 5 12-year-old girl answered, I wish I were a size 2.

Does anyone remember those old diet commercials - maybe for Super K or Slim Fast in the 1980s - where the tagline was, Look at her. She's a perfect size 9!

I've been contemplating the significance of this size Zero, pro-ana phenomenon.

Do you remember the old feminist theory that women crossed their legs in the feminine way to take up less space because they felt unworthy of it? They also held their arms close to them and made very small hand gestures and sat with ankles crossed. That men crossed their legs in thier big way and felt free to move their arms about and even stretch them all the way across the couch. Men feel entitled to take up space.

What if girls today feel they don't even have a right to exist, let alone take up more space?

Who takes up less space on the planet, or in a room, or on a couch, than a size Zero girl?

Are pro-ana girls actually trying to disappear?

Perhaps the first step to preventing poor body image and extreme thinness and misperception of our bodies is to teach daughters they have a right to exist.

Ainsley, dear, you have as much right as anyone to take up space. You're entitled to exist. I'm thrilled that you live your life with a loud, bold presence. You are worthy of nutrition and nourishment for your strong, beautiful, healthy body.

(P.S. I'm claiming my thin status back. Those girls aren't going to steal my womanly thunder. I'm thin with curves. Curves are better than bones any day.)

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Third Base Ain't What It Used To Be


by Tracee Sioux

I just read Third Base Ain't What It Used to Be: What Your Kids Are Learning About Sex Today- and How to Teach Them toBecome Sexually Healthy Adults by Logan Levkoff, sexologist and sexuality educator.

This book covered every single aspect of sexuality that might come up with your kids.

I was shocked virtually the whole time I was reading it. Not so much by the content, as by witnessing my own emotional responses to the content in connection with my daughter. Truthfully, reading it was not a pleasant one for me. It brought up issues.

That said I thought it was a very wise. Levkoff points out that if we, as parents, aren't talking about sex with our kids we'll be the only influence in their lives not putting in our two cents.

Which is extremely dangerous for our kids as all the other influences are promoting a very unhealthy sexuality.

Sex is everywhere. But, not really the good kind. It doesn't take a genius to realize that our kids are exposed to blatant, inappropriate sexuality with negative messages and connotations multiple times a day - and that's just during the commercials.

If there is any hope for daughters at all parents should be talking as openly and honestly as possible.

This, I believe with all my heart, in a cerebral kind of way.

In reality when my daughter asks me a question concerning sex I feel as though my conservative parents have temporarily inhabited my body to the point that I hear my own mother's voice come out of my mouth, "where did you hear that?" with a hysterical accusatory urgency.

Okay, I don't actually say that, but it is my first irrational instinct.

The truth is that I don't feel my own sexuality is a healthy one. It's more of a reaction to the oppressive anti-sexuality of conservative religion mingled with rebellion, an intellectual political response, a teaspoon of good old fashioned Christian guilt, a lifetime of hormonal biology, more than a few mistakes and regrets, influenced by hyper-sexual contemporary culture that becomes increasingly offensive to me, with some violent and abusive sexual trauma thrown in, mingled with a good dose of busy maternal exhaustion. The combination of which doesn't leave me feeling very equipped to pass on a healthy sexuality to my children.

That said, reading Third Base Ain't What It Used to Be: What Your Kids Are Learning About Sex Today- and How to Teach Them toBecome Sexually Healthy Adults did better prepare me for some contemporary questions I'm bound to face as the parent of contemporary kids. I hadn't really confronted the modern-day reality that kids are exposed to an advanced sexuality with little nuance and they are going to be bold enough to ask me some provocative questions.

I want my kids to come to me. I want them to trust me. I want them to believe me to be more of an expert than the other kids on the bus. I want them to look to me for sound advice.

Except that I don't ever want to talk about it again. In fact, I don't want them to ever know some of the sexual stuff they'll be exposed to even exists. See that? It's gonna take a healthy dose of courage to have conversations with my kids about sex and sexuality, after reading the book I feel better armed with adequate information.

Sexy

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

I Hate Hillary!


by Tracee Sioux

Maybe you're one of the people who disagree with me politically. Maybe you like the current health care system, don't have a problem with current employment policy, would love to see Row V. Wade overturned. In other words, maybe you're a Republican.

Okay, I can respect that. Almost everyone I know and love is a Republican. I grew up Mormon and married a Texan. Very Republican both.

As an advocate for girls let me make the following plea on behalf of your daughter:

Please, please, please speak respectfully of the one and only female candidate ever for President of the United States - Hillary Clinton.

What you say about Hillary Clinton has the potential to translate to your daughters as your opinion of all women (including your daughter) seeking power.

I vividly remember asking my parents what the Equal Rights Amendment was as a child. I remember them telling me that it was a bill to make women equal to men. And they were voting against it.

Here's how that translated to a six-year-old girl: My parents are voting against ME! Why would they do that?

What you might say instead of I Hate Hillary Clinton! might be, I think a woman would make a wonderful President, I just don't agree with this particular woman's political views on health insurance.

It would be helpful, for your daughter, to avoid vague negative statements about Hillary's suitability as a role model for girls. Instead you could say, I think it's wonderful that a female has gotten this far in American politics. It's wonderful that women are becoming more powerful and ambitious. I just don't agree with her views on abortion or the economy.

If you minimize and criticize the significance of Hillary's presence in this race you minimize and criticize your daughter's potential.

It's Super Tuesday: Take your daughter to vote with you and show her what being empowered in a democracy means.

Carnivals

Check out these carnivals, which have been kind enough to publish submissions from So Sioux Me.

Mom's Blogging Carnival has a little bit of everything at Lightening Online.

Carnival of Family Life is hosted over at A Child Chosen.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Hannah Branding

By Tracee Sioux

Have you gotten the four-page Hannah Montana Branding advertisement from Walmart?

Maddy gets ALL the Hannah Montana stuff! She has the wigs and the microphone and sleeping bag and DVD and CD. How come she gets it and I don't?

Hannah Montana is a Disney Channel sitcom and she's played by Miley Sirus, Billy Ray Sirus's daughter. She's a secret rockstar by night and a normal girl who goes to public school by day.

Last year Hannah was on our Not Allowed to Watch list because of her tone and the dating themes. But, I think we've established that Ainsley is getting her tone straight from the source - me - rather than Hannah.

I argued allow Hannah because she keeps Ainsley (and Zack) occupied while I write.

I've been contemplating doing a post about how the whole plot is propaganda to trick little girls into believing they really can have the best of both worlds (insert theme song music here) with the whole motherhood/career thing, without having to sacrifice anything.

But, since the Best of Both Worlds Tour commenced, the commando marketing is starting to get to me. Have you ever seen an entire four page ad dedicated to one celebrity brand? I can't say that I have.

Of course, Ainsley wants everything in it.

  • socks
  • shirts
  • capris with Hannah's face on cuffs
  • electric toothbrush
  • gift card
  • glasses frames (Hannah doesn't wear glasses)
  • purse
  • guitar purse
  • watch
  • t-shirts
  • hats
  • pajamas
  • sleeping bag
  • plates and napkins
  • mini-wheats cereal
  • song cards
  • bedding set
  • throw
  • Nintendo system and games
  • posters
  • sticker card fun pack
  • paperback books
  • DVDs
  • CDs
  • Wigs in many different colors
  • singing dolls
  • doll paraphernelia
  • electric guitar

With the concert selling out at reported $1,000 tickets Hannah mania is feeling more and more like a deranged attempt to seep funds out of parents' pockets.

The lesson here is to teach girls how to resist commando marketing.

No. You don't need all that Hannah Montana stuff.

It sounds so simple doesn't it? No. You don't need it.

I just haven't gotten a lot more creative than that.

Well, aside from my ordinary lessons on being a wise consumer:

Patience grasshopper, by spring I'll find loads of Hannah Montana stuff that spoiled girls demanded, recieved and grew tired of at garage sales.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Fair Pay Restoration Act

With 5 years of experience as a reporter, two awards in photography and reporting and a very impressive portfolio and resume I was given $38,000 a year at a large publishing firm in 2000.

In the magazine a man hired at the same time, with a portfolio of crossword puzzle editing, no awards and a work history of equal duration was paid $50,000.

Right across the street at a similarly-sized publishing firm my husband, with no work history at all, no awards or accolades and no portfolio at all was hired for $39,500. That $1,500 MORE than I was making with all my experience, credentials, accolades and portfolio.

Pay discrimination is alive and well. But, we can take action right now to put a stop to it.

Take two seconds and sign the petition to get Congress to pass the Fair Pay Restoration Act.

It is within our power to make this a non-issue for our daughters.

Friday, February 29, 2008

1 Texas Vote for Hillary




I feel privileged to have taken the opportunity to vote for the first woman and the first mother to run for President of the United States. May I see many more opportunities in my lifetime and may my daughter take for granted the possibility that a woman will win!

CindyBailey62 Wins A New Earth

A New Earth

Because the prize has gone unclaimed and I really want someone to have A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61) by Eckhart Tolle I've drawn a new winner: CindyBailey62. Please email me at tracesioux @ yahoo.com with your mailing address Cindy so I can get this in the mail today. Congratulations!

Also Please remember my invitation to participate in the So Sioux Me community that will discuss the book simultaneously with Oprah's online course. Harpo has promised to give us special study material and resources and if the community grows they will give away a few signed copies of the book here. Exciting.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Science of Happiness


by Tracee Sioux

I love the Science of Happiness. You've heard of that neuroscientist, Richard J. Davidson, who studies what our brains do when they are happy and tells us how we can get more of it?

I was thinking. I'm 34 years old and I'm thrilled to apply new ways to be happy - meditating, yoga, hot baths, time to myself, time with my famiy and friends, acts of service, inspiring art on the wall, and a passion for writing.

But, what if my daughter (and son) doesn't have to wander around for 30 years not knowing how to be happy?

What if I taught her the tried and true scientific methods to be happy straight from the go just like I taught her how to read and add. Surely, how to be happy is as valuable and fundamental a life-skill as that?

There was an article in O Magazine about 5 things we can do for ourselves to learn to be happy. I've taken the liberty of adapting the list for my daughter. Feel free to adapt it for your own family.

1. Do what you love. I can help her learn what her natural talents are and give her an opportunity to explore and develop those skills.

2. Learn new things. Right now she's taking Taekwondo and loving it.

3. Teach her the significance of NOW and how to avoid "if only" thinking. If I can teach her that happiness is a choice and now is the only time she can grasp it I'll consider my job as a parent well done.

4. Encourage social interaction with best friends and create and environment where her friendships flourish. Obviously this implies teaching her how to be a good friend.

5. Allow her to be happy. Don't burden her with unnecessary guilt and issues.

Don't we all just want to raise happy girls? Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could teach them happiness as a skill?

Revolutionary.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Girl Characters and Geena Davis


The Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media works with entertainment creators and companies, educates the next generation of content-creators, and informs the public about the need to increase the number of girls and women in media aimed at kids and to reduce stereotyping of both males and females.

From the website: Three years ago, while watching children's television programs and videos with her then 2-year old daughter, Academy Award winner Geena Davis noticed a remarkable imbalance in the ratio of male to female characters. From that small starting point, Davis went on to raise funds for the largest research project ever undertaken on gender in children's entertainment (resulting in 4 discrete studies, including one on children's television).

The research showed that in the top-grossing G-rated films from 1990-2005, there were three male characters for every one female - a statistic that did not improve over time.

The concern was clear:

What message does this send to young children?

According to the study released this month: Not only were there fewer females, but the nature in which the females were depicted was questionable. They were either objectified and sexualized or portrayed as extremely traditional.

Dr. Smith and her team also examined 4000 female film characters and found that two types of females often frequent film: the traditional and the hypersexual. For example, females are over five times as likely as males to be shown in alluring apparel and are roughly three times as likely as males (10.6% vs. 3.4%) to be shown with an unrealistically “ideal” body.

The same problem was shown to exist in television aimed at audiences of children: Females in kids’ fare are almost four times as likely as males to be shown in sexy attire (20.7% vs. 5.4%) and nearly twice as likely as males to be shown with a small waist line (25.6% vs. 14.4%).

Animated females in TV for kids are more likely to be shown in sexually revealing attire than are live action females (24.5% vs. 17.4%). Also, females in animated TV stories for children are more likely to have small waists (36.9% vs. 6.9%) and have an unrealistic body shape (22.7% vs. 1.2%) than are females in live action TV stories for children.

Though, females are not the only ones hypersexualized in TV
content for children,
the report noted. Animated males are more likely than live action males to have a large chest (15.4% vs. 4.9%), small waist (18.4% vs. 4.3%), and an unrealistically muscularized physique (12.5% vs. .5%).

At the Institute's recent conference in January it was noted that such hypersexualization of children's characters contributes to low self esteem, poor body image and eating disorders in children.
For more detailed information you can read An Analysis of Popular Films and TV.

According to the report: In fact, research on television reveals that the participation of women writers and producers increases the percentage of females on screen.

What can You do? The Institute is having a contest called "I Want to See Jane!" The Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media doesn't want any Jane to grow up believing she is only worthy of sidekick status. That's where our I Want to See Jane Campaign for girls and women comes in. YOU can be involved by spreading the word and telling your story, and your story could end up in the first GDIGM documentary!

It's easy! Just tape yourself talking about the female character who meant the most to you when you were growing up.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

1943 Guide to Hiring Women


Thank goodness our daughters can expect somewhat better treatment from future employers than this: 1943 Guide to Hiring Women posted by Contrariwise Ramblings.

It should be noted though that we're not out of the woods yet, as just the other day I heard a female county employee say she was having a difficult time finding a suitable secretary who was not of childbearing age. I know it's illegal, but you know they can be so undependable, she noted. The irony was the at the woman herself was of childbearing age.

Hello?

Back to the article, my favorite excerpts include that young married women are more responsible than their unwed sisters and less flirtatious, "Husky" girls (apparently their euphemism for fat) are more friendly and outgoing than under-weight women, employers were encouraging to perform gynecological physical examinations to avoid "feminine ailments", and to give girls breaks to apply more lipstick and fix their hair.

Is it any wonder that laws about gender discrimination are necessary?

Monday, February 25, 2008

A New Earth Community at So Sioux Me


I'm thrilled to award a copy of Eckhart Tolle's book A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61) to ldrnc2000. Please email me at traceesioux{at}yahoo.com to give me your address within the next 48 hours. If prize is unclaimed I will give to the next name drawn.

But, don't go anywhere if you didn't win this copy. I'm excited to announce that I've been invited by Oprah's staff to lead a community discussion of the book simultaneously with the online course. I invite you to hang out and participate in the discussion here on So Sioux Me.

A landmark interactive spiritual event is on the horizon. Starting Monday, March 3rd, Oprah Winfrey and best selling author and spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle will team up to teach a live weekly webcast centered around Mr. Tolle’s book "A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61)," Oprah’s latest book club selection. This revolutionary webcast is being hailed "the biggest classroom ever", and is free.

The course lasts 10 weeks, and will be live each Monday at 8pm CST. Each week will cover one of the 10 chapters in the book, with the discussion on our site following the same topic.

I am thrilled to say we will be participating in this breakthrough interactive event. Join us as we discuss the book, the Web Event, and spiritual journey itself. Sign up is free at oprah.com/anewearth. Following the Monday March 3 launch webcast, we’ll start to discuss Eckhart Tolle’s ‘A New Earth’ right here.

Be sure to add me to your RSS feed and to the right you'll see a place to subscribe via email.

I've finished A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61)and it really will change your life - if you want it to.

Math Perceptions


Taken from xkcd, also appearing on feministing.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Last Chance to win A New Earth

Hurry, this is the last day to enter the contest to win the A New Earth Oprah Giveaway.

Friday, February 22, 2008

A House Divided


Zackie say Hillary Mama!

hillly

Ainsley I'll give you $5 if you can teach him to say Hillary.

eeellee

Say Hillary, Hillary, go Hillary! Vote for the girl! Ainsley shouts.

lillaly

ooh lillaly!

Don't listen to them Zack! Say Go Bama!

Oh Mama!

Go Bama! Obama!

mama!

Hillary!

lillaly!

Obama!

ball

Vote for the mama! Vote!

boat

Vote for Obama!

boat

You love Mama, Vote for a mama!

Mama!

Seriously, I want to work the election on Primary Tuesday and I'm looking for a babysitter for this adorable kid for about 12 hours. My mother-in-law is in Peru. Anyone?

Pic taken from News-Journal.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Listen to Radio Podcast

To listen to my radio debut on Healthy Wealthy Wow on Grapevine Radio click this podcast link. I think it went really well. Click on today's date (3rd one down).

It was pretty fun too.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Talk Radio Interview

I'll be on the Healthy Wealthy Wow radio program on the Grapevine Talk Radio Network on Thursday at 1:29 CST.

I won a radio contest (which I wasn't even listening to)for the Law of Attraction Action Pack and now I get to go on the radio program and chat about how it's effected me.

It's an Internet radio program so be sure to tune in. I'll try to post the podcast up here once it's recorded so you'll be sure not to miss it.

Wish me luck!

Girly Trains


For the life of me I can not tell you why it never, not once, occurred to me to buy Ainsley a train set.

I've been shopping for Zack's 2nd birthday and realized there is a host of toy options for boys that I never considered for my daughter.

Of course, she would've enjoyed a train village. Why wouldn't she? I'm sure she'll get plenty of use out of Zack's.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Future President of The United States

A New Earth Oprah Giveaway

I gave away a copy of A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61), by Eckhart Tolle over on Blog Fabulous and it was so much fun I want to do it again!

This is the book Oprah is teaching an online course on beginning March 3 on Oprah.com. Who wants to miss that?

Please leave a comment and you'll be entered to win one copy of A New Earth. Regretfully, I can only accept U.S. entries, unless the person entering is willing to pay their own postage for the book.

Contest will remain open until Sunday, Feb. 24 at midnight Central time. Winner will be announced Monday, Feb. 25. You must register with your email address or I will have no way to contact you if you win. Ainsley will draw the name out of a hat.

Good Luck.

If you're feeling particularly lucky hop over to Prize-A-Tron to enter more contests.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Ainsley Shook President's Hand



by Tracee Sioux

Ainsley and I got to shake Bill Clinton's hand! Seriously. She got to meet Bill Clinton, I think he said something like thanks for coming or good to see you or something.

I was too busy recording the moment to really live it.

I don't really know if she understands the significance of the event. I hope though that it will allow her to feel like she has tangible access to politics.

I hope that she'll grow up feeling like she can create change in the world, like she can always do something to better her situation. I hope she'll feel like she has access to political power I guess. By which I mean that she doesn't feel apathetic or useless, shut out or irrelevant to the process.

We live in a democracy and that is something special and powerful. We can all have a voice and I, for one, feel this election is different than all elections before it because the Internet have really given people, women especially, a voice like they never had before. With access to a platform like the Blogosphere, it would be hard for women and other minority groups to remain disenfranchised much longer.

I remember a mock election at my school when I was in the 2nd grade. The contest was Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan. The principal got up in an assembly and chanted, Jimmy Carter has a way of messing up the USA. Ronald Reagan has a way of fixing up the USA.

Take a wild guess who won.

The point is that what we say now to our daughters, regardless of whether we're democrat or republican, is important. We can either make them feel shut out of the process for which they are entitled to participate - or - hopefully, make them feel empowered with complete access to this country's democratic process.

Read more about our first political rally on Blog Fabulous.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Ainsley's 1st Political Rally


I'm taking the kids to see their first former-President/future first-gentleman (is that the male derivative of First Lady?) today!

Yes, that would be Bill Clinton!

It is thrilling to me that I will have the opportunity to vote for the first female Presidential Candidate.

Taking the daughter out of school for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

What is more empowering than democracy? Nothing.

Very exciting. I hope it will make her feel like politics is accessible to her throughout her life. I hope she'll always feel like her voice counts. I hope to instill in her a sense of power and responsibility in democracy.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Be My Mr. Good Enough!


Do you think I should get you a Valentine?

I'm going to be seriously upset if you spend money on roses that die and please remember I hate the creams. In fact we don't need chocolate, there's still some from Christmas.

I was talking to her not you, my sweet husband pointed to our six-year-old daughter, Ainsley.

What?

You got a laptop and we're going to dinner. You're not getting me anything are you?

Do you want me to?

No.

Actually, I like to get roses and I would love more chocolate, Daddy. I'll make you a card. How come I can't go to dinner?

You get all those cards from your friends at school. Valentine's is for Mommy and Daddy to go to dinner. You get to go to Nana's

But, I want to be your valentine.

Okay, Daddy can be your valentine. Zack will you be my Valentine?

Mama!

Isn't it romantic?

Check out this worthy article, Marry Him, in The Atlantic by Lori Gottlieb. She makes the case for settling for Mr. Good Enough.

From Ms. Good Enough to Mr. Good Enough - Happy Valentine's Day!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Mom's World


To understand where we're going it's helpful to understand where we've been. Check out this flickr photoset called Mom's World. It's a photo-essay of a woman, Dotty, in the 1950s who documented her life. It's beautiful and fascinating.

Watch it with your daughter, she'll be equally transfixed.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Oprah University Contest - A New Earth


I'm running a contest over at BlogFabulous to give away one hardback copy of A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61), by Eckharty Tolle.

This is the book Oprah's teaching her online course on beginnning March 3. Leave a comment on the entry to enter. Winner will be drawn out of a hat and announced on Monday morning.

HPV Vaccine Reconsideration

by Tracee Sioux

About a year ago I took a stance that all girls should have access to the HPV (human papillomavirus virus) in my article HPV Vaccine, Right of All Girls To Health.

While I stand by my original logic, I've come across two bits of information that have me reconsidering the benefits of such a vaccine.

Did you see Christiane Northrup, the OB/GYN author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom: Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing on Oprah?

Northrup expressed that no one has conclusively proven that cervical cancer is caused by HPV, the virus that causes venereal warts.

From the interview, which can be found on Oprah.com.

"That vaccine is of great interest to me because there are over 100 different HPV types and this vaccine only targets four of them, and although they are associated with cervical cancer, nobody has ever proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that HPV is the cause of cervical cancer, Northrup said.

Dr. Northrup says only 3,500 women a year die of cervical cancer. "And the number decreases every year, so we're doing very well with Pap smears and other screening tests. So you should keep having those," she said.

But Dr. Northrup has some apprehension about the vaccine itself. "I'm very concerned about vaccinating girls 9 and over, every single one of them, with two vaccines," she says. "And I'm a little against my own profession. My own profession feels that everyone should be vaccinated."

Dr. Northrup would rather see the attention HPV is receiving directed elsewhere. "You see HPV associated with abnormal Pap smears in women who are on immunosuppressant drugs who have had kidney transplants or who have HIV disease. So it seems that that virus is associated with cancer in those whose immune system is already depressed, you see. So it's like a marker for a depressed immune system. Where I'd put my money is getting everybody on a dietary program that would enhance their immunity, and then they would be able to resist that sort of thing."

The other issue that got me thinking is the research I recently did on Precocious Puberty.

Something is amiss when an entire generation of girls are maturing earlier than all the generations of women before them. We don't know if early maturation is going to effect our girls post-puberty, into pregnancy, lactation and menopause.

Perhaps until we discover what factor, whether hormonal, social, environmental or chemical, is causing girls to develop early, we should add as few unknown substances to their little bodies as possible.

Monday, February 11, 2008

CCFC PG-13 Film Restrictions


I am sick to death of inappropriate commercials popping up during family or kids programing.

Here's the thing - We're a captive audience during commercials. I shouldn't have to spend so much time hollering "Ainsley close your eyes!" while watching television.

The FCC is a literal joke. They will take zero action ever. Well, they'll fine Janet Jackson for someone else ripping off her top on national television - but that's it.

In a letter responding to my complaint of a commercial of violence of a sexual nature so disgusting it turned my stomach the FCC responded that "each network was responsible for the content of their own commercials."

Essentially the government agency we've assigned to make sure nothing lewd gets shot across the airwaves to pollute my or my children's brain has decided the entertainment industry is allowed to show whatever they like during commercials.

Who made that stupid rule?

That's got to change. Which brings us to a group, Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, which is trying to take action with the film industry which seems to violate age-appropriate whenever possible.

From the press release: Led by CCFC, a coalition of twenty-one advocacy groups is demanding that the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) comply with the Federal Trade Commission's recent recommendation for explicit restrictions on the marketing of PG-13 films to young children.

In a letter sent last week to MPAA CEO Dan Glickman, CCFC urged the MPAA to develop a policy that would restrict the advertising of PG-13 films on children's television; prohibit restaurant toy giveaways or other food promotions aimed at young children for PG-13 movies; and insure that any toys released in conjunction with a film carry an age recommendation consistent with the film's rating.

This past summer, CCFC filed a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission that Transformers - rated PG-13 for "intense sequences of sci-fi action violence, brief sexual humor, and language - was being marketed extensively to preschool children through television advertising, food promotions and licensed toys. Last week, the FTC acted on CCFC's complaint by urging the MPAA to adopt guidelines for the marketing of PG-13 movies.

“Transformers is just one of a string of violent, PG-13 movies marketed to preschoolers,” said CCFC’s co-founder and director, Dr. Susan Linn. “For too long, the film industry has undermined its own rating system by bypassing parents to target young children directly with marketing for films that the industry itself has determined warrant parental caution.”

“Transformers is just one of a string of violent, PG-13 movies marketed to preschoolers,” said CCFC’s co-founder and director, Dr. Susan Linn. “For too long, the film industry has undermined its own rating system by bypassing parents to target young children directly with marketing for films that the industry itself has determined warrant parental caution.”

It's enough already. The CCFC does not accept corporate funding, but relies on donations if you're looking for a worthy cuase.

For more on my experience with the FCC read Misogynistic Violence for Breakfast.

Friday, February 8, 2008

RealAge Healthy Kids Test


by Tracee Sioux

Have you seen that show Honey We're Killing the Kids? The show you a family with terrible eating habits, fast forward what they'll look like when they're 40 and predict their life expectancy?

Of course they pick families with such terrible habits you can walk away feeling like you're doing a super parenting job just because you introduced fruit.

For a better indication of how you're doing you can take the RealAge Healthy Kids Test. Dr. Mehmet Oz and Dr. Michael Roizen you know, from Oprah and YOU: The Owner's Manual: An Insider's Guide to the Body that Will Make You Healthier and Younger have put together a Healthy Kid quiz. You can enter your kids' nutritional information, exercise habits, computer and television screen time, academic and social exposure and it will give you a score between 1 and 10.

It will also tell you how old your child will feel when they are 30 if they keep up the habits you're teaching them. For instance, When Ainsley is 34 she'll feel only 30 if she keeps her current habits through her lifetime.

It will then give you advice on where you need to make improvements. Ainsley got an 8 which put us above average in the kids' health department. (Zack got a perfect 10, I wonder why when most of my answers were the same?)

We need to work on flossing and visiting the dentist, having more dinners together, swim lessons and stress management to improve our score.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Zero Existence


by Tracee Sioux

I was thin as a young woman. Just the other day my sister-in-law said to me, I saw some pictures of you and you were so thin.

A friend of mine who knew me about 7 years ago also recently said, You were so tiny back then.

I was always "the thin one" between my best friend, Violet, and I.

The thing is - I was a size 8.

A size 8 was considered perfectly thin.

Violet, plagued with a weight problem, would mutter things like, If only I were a size 5 my life would be perfect.

I would always answer back, Don't be ridiculous. No one is a size 5. There's no way I could be a size 5 - I have bones. (This was before you could find a doctor who would remove a few ribs.)

I'm in a size 8 again today, but no one is calling me thin. Today, an 8 is considered fat, or at least something to work on. While a size Zero is considered to be thin.

My friend Violet just the other day said, I wish I were a size 5

To which a size 5 12-year-old girl answered, I wish I were a size 2.

Does anyone remember those old diet commercials - maybe for Super K or Slim Fast in the 1980s - where the tagline was, Look at her. She's a perfect size 9!

I've been contemplating the significance of this size Zero, pro-ana phenomenon.

Do you remember the old feminist theory that women crossed their legs in the feminine way to take up less space because they felt unworthy of it? They also held their arms close to them and made very small hand gestures and sat with ankles crossed. That men crossed their legs in thier big way and felt free to move their arms about and even stretch them all the way across the couch. Men feel entitled to take up space.

What if girls today feel they don't even have a right to exist, let alone take up more space?

Who takes up less space on the planet, or in a room, or on a couch, than a size Zero girl?

Are pro-ana girls actually trying to disappear?

Perhaps the first step to preventing poor body image and extreme thinness and misperception of our bodies is to teach daughters they have a right to exist.

Ainsley, dear, you have as much right as anyone to take up space. You're entitled to exist. I'm thrilled that you live your life with a loud, bold presence. You are worthy of nutrition and nourishment for your strong, beautiful, healthy body.

(P.S. I'm claiming my thin status back. Those girls aren't going to steal my womanly thunder. I'm thin with curves. Curves are better than bones any day.)

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Third Base Ain't What It Used To Be


by Tracee Sioux

I just read Third Base Ain't What It Used to Be: What Your Kids Are Learning About Sex Today- and How to Teach Them toBecome Sexually Healthy Adults by Logan Levkoff, sexologist and sexuality educator.

This book covered every single aspect of sexuality that might come up with your kids.

I was shocked virtually the whole time I was reading it. Not so much by the content, as by witnessing my own emotional responses to the content in connection with my daughter. Truthfully, reading it was not a pleasant one for me. It brought up issues.

That said I thought it was a very wise. Levkoff points out that if we, as parents, aren't talking about sex with our kids we'll be the only influence in their lives not putting in our two cents.

Which is extremely dangerous for our kids as all the other influences are promoting a very unhealthy sexuality.

Sex is everywhere. But, not really the good kind. It doesn't take a genius to realize that our kids are exposed to blatant, inappropriate sexuality with negative messages and connotations multiple times a day - and that's just during the commercials.

If there is any hope for daughters at all parents should be talking as openly and honestly as possible.

This, I believe with all my heart, in a cerebral kind of way.

In reality when my daughter asks me a question concerning sex I feel as though my conservative parents have temporarily inhabited my body to the point that I hear my own mother's voice come out of my mouth, "where did you hear that?" with a hysterical accusatory urgency.

Okay, I don't actually say that, but it is my first irrational instinct.

The truth is that I don't feel my own sexuality is a healthy one. It's more of a reaction to the oppressive anti-sexuality of conservative religion mingled with rebellion, an intellectual political response, a teaspoon of good old fashioned Christian guilt, a lifetime of hormonal biology, more than a few mistakes and regrets, influenced by hyper-sexual contemporary culture that becomes increasingly offensive to me, with some violent and abusive sexual trauma thrown in, mingled with a good dose of busy maternal exhaustion. The combination of which doesn't leave me feeling very equipped to pass on a healthy sexuality to my children.

That said, reading Third Base Ain't What It Used to Be: What Your Kids Are Learning About Sex Today- and How to Teach Them toBecome Sexually Healthy Adults did better prepare me for some contemporary questions I'm bound to face as the parent of contemporary kids. I hadn't really confronted the modern-day reality that kids are exposed to an advanced sexuality with little nuance and they are going to be bold enough to ask me some provocative questions.

I want my kids to come to me. I want them to trust me. I want them to believe me to be more of an expert than the other kids on the bus. I want them to look to me for sound advice.

Except that I don't ever want to talk about it again. In fact, I don't want them to ever know some of the sexual stuff they'll be exposed to even exists. See that? It's gonna take a healthy dose of courage to have conversations with my kids about sex and sexuality, after reading the book I feel better armed with adequate information.

Sexy

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

I Hate Hillary!


by Tracee Sioux

Maybe you're one of the people who disagree with me politically. Maybe you like the current health care system, don't have a problem with current employment policy, would love to see Row V. Wade overturned. In other words, maybe you're a Republican.

Okay, I can respect that. Almost everyone I know and love is a Republican. I grew up Mormon and married a Texan. Very Republican both.

As an advocate for girls let me make the following plea on behalf of your daughter:

Please, please, please speak respectfully of the one and only female candidate ever for President of the United States - Hillary Clinton.

What you say about Hillary Clinton has the potential to translate to your daughters as your opinion of all women (including your daughter) seeking power.

I vividly remember asking my parents what the Equal Rights Amendment was as a child. I remember them telling me that it was a bill to make women equal to men. And they were voting against it.

Here's how that translated to a six-year-old girl: My parents are voting against ME! Why would they do that?

What you might say instead of I Hate Hillary Clinton! might be, I think a woman would make a wonderful President, I just don't agree with this particular woman's political views on health insurance.

It would be helpful, for your daughter, to avoid vague negative statements about Hillary's suitability as a role model for girls. Instead you could say, I think it's wonderful that a female has gotten this far in American politics. It's wonderful that women are becoming more powerful and ambitious. I just don't agree with her views on abortion or the economy.

If you minimize and criticize the significance of Hillary's presence in this race you minimize and criticize your daughter's potential.

It's Super Tuesday: Take your daughter to vote with you and show her what being empowered in a democracy means.

Carnivals

Check out these carnivals, which have been kind enough to publish submissions from So Sioux Me.

Mom's Blogging Carnival has a little bit of everything at Lightening Online.

Carnival of Family Life is hosted over at A Child Chosen.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Hannah Branding

By Tracee Sioux

Have you gotten the four-page Hannah Montana Branding advertisement from Walmart?

Maddy gets ALL the Hannah Montana stuff! She has the wigs and the microphone and sleeping bag and DVD and CD. How come she gets it and I don't?

Hannah Montana is a Disney Channel sitcom and she's played by Miley Sirus, Billy Ray Sirus's daughter. She's a secret rockstar by night and a normal girl who goes to public school by day.

Last year Hannah was on our Not Allowed to Watch list because of her tone and the dating themes. But, I think we've established that Ainsley is getting her tone straight from the source - me - rather than Hannah.

I argued allow Hannah because she keeps Ainsley (and Zack) occupied while I write.

I've been contemplating doing a post about how the whole plot is propaganda to trick little girls into believing they really can have the best of both worlds (insert theme song music here) with the whole motherhood/career thing, without having to sacrifice anything.

But, since the Best of Both Worlds Tour commenced, the commando marketing is starting to get to me. Have you ever seen an entire four page ad dedicated to one celebrity brand? I can't say that I have.

Of course, Ainsley wants everything in it.

  • socks
  • shirts
  • capris with Hannah's face on cuffs
  • electric toothbrush
  • gift card
  • glasses frames (Hannah doesn't wear glasses)
  • purse
  • guitar purse
  • watch
  • t-shirts
  • hats
  • pajamas
  • sleeping bag
  • plates and napkins
  • mini-wheats cereal
  • song cards
  • bedding set
  • throw
  • Nintendo system and games
  • posters
  • sticker card fun pack
  • paperback books
  • DVDs
  • CDs
  • Wigs in many different colors
  • singing dolls
  • doll paraphernelia
  • electric guitar

With the concert selling out at reported $1,000 tickets Hannah mania is feeling more and more like a deranged attempt to seep funds out of parents' pockets.

The lesson here is to teach girls how to resist commando marketing.

No. You don't need all that Hannah Montana stuff.

It sounds so simple doesn't it? No. You don't need it.

I just haven't gotten a lot more creative than that.

Well, aside from my ordinary lessons on being a wise consumer:

Patience grasshopper, by spring I'll find loads of Hannah Montana stuff that spoiled girls demanded, recieved and grew tired of at garage sales.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Fair Pay Restoration Act

With 5 years of experience as a reporter, two awards in photography and reporting and a very impressive portfolio and resume I was given $38,000 a year at a large publishing firm in 2000.

In the magazine a man hired at the same time, with a portfolio of crossword puzzle editing, no awards and a work history of equal duration was paid $50,000.

Right across the street at a similarly-sized publishing firm my husband, with no work history at all, no awards or accolades and no portfolio at all was hired for $39,500. That $1,500 MORE than I was making with all my experience, credentials, accolades and portfolio.

Pay discrimination is alive and well. But, we can take action right now to put a stop to it.

Take two seconds and sign the petition to get Congress to pass the Fair Pay Restoration Act.

It is within our power to make this a non-issue for our daughters.