My blog has moved!

You should be automatically redirected in 5 seconds. If not, visit
http://thegirlrevolution.com
and update your bookmarks.

Monday, December 31, 2007

Tone Control


We all know our own flaws, and recognize them in our children, if we have any self-perception.

I was struck by this paragraph in Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesiaby Elizabeth Gilbert, I'm never going to be a wallflower, but that doesn't mean I can't take a serious look at my talking habits and alter some aspects for the better - working within my personality.

Yes, I like talking, but perhaps I don't have to curse so much, and perhaps I don't always have to go for the cheap laugh, and maybe I don't need to talk about myself quite so constantly. Or here's a radical concept - maybe I can stop interrupting others when they are speaking.

Wow, she must have really harnessed the Divine if she can control all that. I would add to that tone. I want to be able to say that I can control the tone of my voice. And that my daughter can control hers.

I know I've written about my tone before. My tone turtle idea, making us pay a quarter for every time we use a tone, didn't work out because she has no quarters and no concept of money. Many of you find my tone amusing - as do I, which is the core of the problem. It gets laughs - I like making people laugh. I find it instantly gratifying and validating.

I often refer to my tone as Angry Turrets Syndrome. Because it feels like something out of my control. The key here is that it feels like Angry Turrets Syndrome - in reality it is something that I need to learn to control. I've recently discovered that with much effort and a lot of meditation, praying and practice I can control anything, even the way I feel.Did everyone else already know you can control your feelings? It's a bit of a 2006-2007 Revelation for me.

It doesn't matter how I got my tone - let me just say, I come by it honestly. My tone is justified most of the time. My ego needs to know that. I have every right to be upset when I am upset. My ego needs to know that too. But, I choose to give up the tone anyway.

It's time to give it up. It's not getting me what I want. When something is ineffective then it's time to try something else. But, what if I'm not funny anymore?

I've got a lot of incentive to change this aspect of my self. My daughter has taken up my tone - for laughs - to be a disobedient little hooligan - to get her way - to push Mommy's buttons. The other day her friend went home because she didn't enjoy being treated so rudely. It won't be long before she becomes brazen enough to use it with teachers and other authority figures.

In 2008 I WILL get control of my tone and I will insist Ainsley get control of hers. I will not beat myself about the head with self-loathing or punishment when I fail. This is an emotional habit. Habits are terribly difficult and painful to break. But, if I can break the habit of smoking, I can break this habitual tone. I will give myself the whole year to do it and I will cut myself some slack in the midst of it. I will be kind to myself and I will expect kindness from others.

I'm going to start with How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talkby Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. I find my tone increases the more frustrated I become with my children and my husband. Perhaps if I have better communication tools I won't become as frustrated. Does anyone else wonder how you make the OTHER communication partner actually respond the way they're supposed to when using these books?

Most recently we've developed a pattern where I kindly ask her to do something four times and then the fifth time I get angry and raise my voice. Only after I yell does she respond.

You don't have to yell at me!
Oh, Really? When I asked nicely 4 times you ignored me! Apparently I DO have to yell at you!

This must stop.

Tone is my parenting and personal New Year's Resolution - what's yours?

Friday, December 28, 2007

I Need Validation

For an entire year I've been doing this blog So Sioux Me.

I could use some validation.

Please go to Hoyden About Town and nominate your favorite So Sioux Me feminist post so that I may be included in the Top 40 Feminist Posts of 2007.

Nominate yourself and your other favorite bloggers too.

Contest open until the end of the year.

Thanks Readers. I appreciate that you read So Sioux Me.

Blond Ambition II


I'm sorry. I just can not feel like Tracee Sioux with plain brown hair.

It's the single brown tone that's making me feel un-me when I look in the mirror. Drab. Dull. Boring. Not on you. Just on me.

None of those words describe me. I'm fun, happy and exciting. My hair should reflect that.

Last night I spent $9.99 for a box of Loreal Chunking Blond Highlights. I put about 10 blond streaks back around my face and feel like myself again. They're a little orangey - but I do not care.

Ainsley asked for some blond streaks in her dark blond/light brown hair and I couldn't think of a reason to tell her no.

I can think of lots of reasons other mothers might give their daughters,
You're too young. You're hair is perfect like it is. You don't need lighter blond to be pretty. What will people think if I let my 6-year-old color her hair?

I respect all those reasons as valid and legitimate. But, none of those ring true for me, as I've already allowed red streaks and pink streaks - depending on what I was doing to my own hair. Who is a little blond going to hurt? No one. It's fun. That's all it is. It's instantly gratifying to change the color of one's hair. It's a hobby. It's a harmless distraction.

I'm a feminist, but not the natural kind. I think the beauty industry has gotten too extreme and makes many women feel like crap about themselves, I abhor their marketing tactics. But, I am happy when they invent a product that really works.

I use beauty products. I shave my legs, pits and groom my vajayjay. I pluck my eyebrows into a high arch. I wear make-up, apply sun screen and foundation. I get excited about my mascara. I try to control my acne with prescription medication. I'm willing to pay a lot of money for a product that makes melasma vanish and never return. Mind you - I get this stuff on the cheap so I'm not hurting myself financially in this quest for beauty. I got this rotating scrub brush and a chemical peel at a retiring Avon Lady's garage sale for a quarter.

And I love blond highlights. I'm a feminist who feels her best self with blond-highlights.

In December's O Magazine I read this quote from Nancy Etkoff, PhD, author of Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty, If we say, "Get rid of the advertisement and tell companies to stop making products, and no one will care about beauty - this is all just a creation that we can wipe away," we are denying who we are. People do care about how they look. They have adorned themselves since Paleolithic times. This is not a vanity issue or a women's issue or a United States issue. It is human nature.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

20 Posts All Women Should Read

Earlier in the month I got an email from DJ Nelson saying that my article My Face/Her Face had changed the way she thought about cosmetic surgery.

This is such a compliment.

In fact, the article, she said, made her not want to shave a little bit off the top of her nose after all.

Major compliment.

She went further and included my article on All Diva Media in a post titled: 20Posts All Women Should Read. (Yes, I did take her advice and read them.)

That's a compliment that netted me hundreds more page views.

I know this sounds a little lame, but it just barely occurred to me that to tell my readers about the article, and link to the it, is not just bragging. It's reciprocation. Of course I want to reciprocate, I'm just not very good at believing, feeling worthy of or embracing success. But, I'm actively working on that.

So, DJ Nelson, I feel privileged and grateful to have been included. Next time, and hopefully there is a next time, you include any link to me - I will immediately reciprocate.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Merry Me. Merry You?

I hope your Christmas was as merry as ours:

Ainsley performed in her annual Christmas Pageant. This year they took the show on the road and sang and danced and played instruments at a nursing home.

This is her first dance solo.







We baked cookies for Santa. I don't know where she gets that attitude.


Barbie upstaged the guitar. Body image was balanced out by juxtaposing Hispanic dark-haired Gabriella of High School Musical with larger than life Tracy Turnblad of Hairspray.

Crush was accounted for with Zac Afron as Troy of High School Musical. Zac does pair with both of them in the respective movies.


Zack and Ainsley got a kitchen - previously owned by The Joneses.

We're keeping it in Zack's room because he has more available space.

They equally love it.

Monday, December 24, 2007

The Argument for Santa


Dreaming is a skill we must teach our children, especially our girls.

Would Hillary Clinton be running for President if she only believed in the Possible?

Would Oprah be Oprah if she didn't didn't believe in the impossible?

Would Nancy Pelosi be Speaker of the House if she only focused on what was easily attainable?

Would Meg Whitman be running eBay if she hadn't learned to dream outside the box?

We must keep teaching our girls that dreams come true. Having Santa fulfill their heart's desire teaches them not only that they can dream, wish and believe - but that it pays off.

Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Our Father Tract


When I first got married my in-laws came to visit us in New York. By the end of the trip I had to ask my mother-in-law, Peggy, to please hand the religious tracts to the waitress with the tip so we could still get refills.

I'm all for religious conviction, but some things are just socially inappropriate.

Remember that religious tract Ainsley got with $20 in it?

Mommy, how do I save this? Can you copy 67 of these so I can hand them out to people?

She had taken a children's book with The Lord's Prayer and typed every single word of it.

She's definitely your grand-daughter, I told Peggy. They shared a high-five.

Saturday she and her cousins are going to perform their Christmas Pageant (which Peggy directs) at a nursing home. I think that will be the most socially appropriate time to let Ainsley pass out her religious tracts.

Unfortunately, we're not in a position to hand out $20 with them.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Friend Finder

When I was a little kid my parents moved a lot. It was the 70s and 80s. When we moved to a new neighborhood I would go out and knock on doors asking,
Do you have anyone my age that I could be friends with?

Can you imagine letting your little kid go door to door in a neighborhood you just moved to? As I said, it was the 70s and 80s and things were different then.

We just moved to a new neighborhood and I caught a glimpse of a little girl around Ainsley's age up the street.

We're going over there to meet that little girl and make you a friend. Get your shoes on.

I'm scared Mommy.

It's okay to be scared. But, we're doing it anyway. You're brave.

Knock, knock, knock.

Hi, this is Ainsley. We just moved in up the street. We thought she might be friends with you. What's your name?

Bernice.

How old are you Bernice?

Seven. Ainsley's six.

Are there other girls on the street to play with?

Nikki. She's across the street.

Would you like to go over and introduce Ainsley to her?

And that's how Ainsley had two instant friends in the neighborhood. I wish it was still that easy for adults to make friends.

How long would it take me to make the whole neighborhood Christmas cookies? Just because "people don't do that anymore" doesn't mean I shouldn't right? I mean, if it was effective then . . .

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

AGordon10 You won Discovery Girls Books

I never did hear back from Tamara for the Discovery Girls Books. So, I had Ainsley draw a new winner out of a hat. Please AGordon10 - email me at traceesioux at yahoo.com to give me your address so I can have the books sent to you. Congradulations and I do hope you and your family can make peace with your postfeminist, non-traditional familial roles.

For a chance to win Eat, Pray, Love - this season's best selling book by Elizabeth Gilbert please visit Blog Fabulous and leave a compliment about yourself in the comments section.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Mani-Pedi Bond

Sundays are for bonding and resting. Oh, and a spa manicure-pedicure in front of the tube.

Learn to groom, but be frugal about it. That's the lesson here.

Ainsley bites her nails and lets her cuticles grow out to the point where a manicure is a big painful task. Turning it into a fun spa girlie time avoids the holding her down while she's screaming as I push back the cuticles episode.

After the red nail polish, we add some Bite It. It's supposed to stop her from biting the nails down to bleeding by making them taste like dirt. It's probably more effective if you put it on more than once a month. I noticed this morning that she's already bitten most of the polish off her nails.

Perhaps your daughter shares this problem. You might try Control-It! 3 Jar ~ 21 Day Fingernail Biting Treatment OMEGA3 Extra Strength. I would not care that she bites her nails if she were not complaining that they hurt from hang nails and infection quite often.

Do you allow your daughter to participate in grooming activities? (To be fair, we very democratically did Zack's nails too.)

Sunday, December 16, 2007

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out!

Who doesn't love A Christmas Story? It's my favorite Christmas classic.

So, about those Barbies Ainsley keeps praying, wishing and asking Santa for. . .

Ralphie needed that Red Rider BB Gun just as Ainsley needs some Barbie dolls. I have overlooked the fact that Mattel makes the Mattel High School Musical Gabriella & Troy 2-Pack dolls for Ainsley. I also balanced it out with a Hairspray Deluxe Singing Tracey Turnblad.

I did not order the Link Larkin doll because Troy and Link are both Zac Afron and I am fundamentally too frugal.

It is unlikely she'll shoot her eye out, right?

I think they will come from Santa. Or should I get the credit?

Friday, December 14, 2007

Unbelievably Fabulous


by Tracee Sioux

I've been afraid that if I tell you about our good fortune it will vanish. That, I just could not bear. But, maybe it's real. Maybe God is going to let us keep this dream we've worked so hard for. Please God, let us keep this.

We just moved, this week, into the most marvelous and perfect Dream home.

The best part is - there are too many best parts to pick just one - is it the central air and heat which greatly improves our health?

Is it the massive 30X28 foot living room? Where Ainsley is jumping rope and Zack is actually riding his scooter and I have plenty of room to do yoga and exercise? The original parquet hard-wood floors and the vaulted lighted ceilings with a white and dark walnut beam contrast make such a cathedral effect I can't help but pray, "Thank You, God," when I walk into it.

Is it my own office? Giving me a legitimate and valid place to write and work?

Maybe it's the storage space? The kitchen is brand new and has two walls of cabinets - enough space for everything.

The massive living room has wall-to-wall original 1950s build-in shelves, drawers and cabinets. I've always gotten lusty over shelving.

The children have their own rooms and wait for it . . . . their own bathrooms! Yes, the house has 3 bathrooms! Ah, the frivolity of it!

I'm almost at a loss for words, except that I could literally write pages and pages of gratitude for every shelf and hook and cleanly painted wall (in exactly the colors I would have chosen) and cabinet and blind and appliance and strip of new carpet.

This is better than I've ever had it. Even when I was praying for it, I never dared to dream it would be this marvelous.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Forbidden Prayers, Wishes & Dreams


by Tracee Sioux

Yesterday we went walking, the kids and I, to get our exercise and take a break what seemed to be a downward spiral of bickering and frustration at home.

There's a prayer sanctuary near our house that's open to the public with some wishing wells out front. It's about a mile so we ventured forth.

Let's go in and pray. We can show God our gratitude for our blessings.

Not me. I'm praying for a Barbie.

Stupid Freaking Barbie! When she had one she dismembered and beheaded it. Now, it's her heart's desire.

Is it only because it's forbidden? I got her a Barbi-like knock off - do you think she'll be satisfied?

We made our wishes in the fountain, on penny at a time and then we had some more so we moved onto the nickels, dimes and quarters. Then Ainsley tried to fish them out because she was out of money but still had more wishes.

You can't steal other people's wishes Ainsley. And if you get your wishes back they might not come true.

So, in we went to pray. I knelt and prayed out loud (it's uncomfortable for me, but I try to teach by example) for all the wonderful gifts we've been given.

She went over to the spiral notebook and started writing.

Please bless that mom and dad will love each other all the time. Please let my brother be nice, she wrote.

Then we came home and she wrote a letter to Santa.

Mom how do you spell Barbie?

How do you spell Sleeping Beauty Princess Dress?

Okay now how to I write Barbie Computer?

Do you think he could really fit a tree house in a present?

A few days ago we were making a Dream Board, you know a collage of our dreams that we hope to come true. A visual representation of our goals, if you will.

She cut out a Bratz bedspread.

You don't want that, I tried convincing her.

I do want it.

Like every mother, my hearts desire is to make all her dreams come true at Christmas. But, you'll notice that I have a moral objection to nearly every toy on her list?

Is it irony, karma or a case of wanting the forbidden only because it's forbidden? Or is it the mass marketing to girls today telling them they must want these things?

I've my theories but I'd really, truly love to hear yours.

Pro-Ana Cheerleader Barbies
How Come Zack Gets A Barbie?
Bob vs. Barbie
Friends With Barbies
Go Bratz Go!
No Bratz No! Tantrum Or Go With The Flow?
Princess Ban
Cinderella Should Have Saved Herself
Ariel - The Little Mute
Belle - Battered Codependent

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Tamara Dear, Where Are You?

Tamara won the Discovery Girls books by placing a comment about her Penguin underwear showing through her play costume. Then the whole school called her Chilly Willy. She deserves those books.

But, I haven't heard from her. If you are she, please leave a comment here and email me directly. If you know her, please email her and tell her she's won!

If I don't hear from her in a few days I'll pick a second-place winner drawn from a hat. Someone needs those free books!

Missing Views

by Tracee Sioux

This is the view I was missing by going to the gym every day. Isn't it fantastic?

Honestly, my life to 33-years-old was not about health. One day I looked at my little family and realized every one of us had a medium-sized weight problem. Well, it wasn't exactly one day - I mean, my husband had been complaining for years and I was ignoring it until my pregnancy phase was over. Then Ainsley's doctor said she was on the border of having a weight issue. Even the baby was so fat I needed to lift weights to pick him up (but, it's cute on a baby).

If a plane gets into trouble they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first. Otherwise, you will render yourself incapacitated and there will be no one to save your children.

I find this method to be useful for other things like creating habits and instituting change in behavior and attitude.

First I got a gym membership and spent a year developing a habit of exercise for the first time in my life. I changed my attitude about it and learned to love it.

I established a clear connection in my brain that said exercise was a real part of our lifestyle before I felt I could give up the gym membership and venture out walking with my kids.

We're up to an easy two miles now. And it's a piece of cake. It's great bonding time and great talking time. Check out the view I was missing!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Hopelessly Devoted, John & Zac



by Tracee Sioux

Someone handed my daughter a religious tract with $20 in it.

I took her to Walmart and she chose the Hairspray DVD.

This, this is what I want.

Hairspray? Okay. $20 is a lot for a DVD, are you sure you don't want to wait till I find it at a garage sale?

No. I want it now. You know why? It has my favorite in it.

I'm hoping she just loves Tracy Turnblad.

Zac Efron, he's my favorite. I just love him.

There is a part of me that is just surprisingly Puritan which wants to shout, But, you're only 6 - what do you know of crushes? You shouldn't feel this way yet! You're not ready! Put that movie back! You'll never see another movie again!

Except that I am still hopelessly devoted to John Travolta, which dates back to me watching Grease when I was her age. The love is unchanged. My cousin shared my attraction to him and playing John and Sandy was our favorite game. We wanted to BE Olivia Newton-John. I listened to the Grease album over and over. I bought it on tape and CD.

My love transended Grease and progressed to all things John and Olivia. Olivia's albums including the old 70's folk music, the 80's pop Let's Get Physical album, and Xanadu. Let's not forget their encore movie together, Two Of A Kind. Then John's work Saturday Night Fever and Staying Alive - ooh la la. Urban Cowboy, American Gigolo and Pulp Fiction. I even watched those stupid 80s films with Kirsty Alley and the talking babies. I loved him, even when no one else did.

I passed my love on to my younger sister and she flew in for an Olivia concert in the 90s. When they remade and rereleased Grease we paid full price. I have the video. My husband got me an Olivia t-shirt for Christmas a few years back - I specifically asked for it.

My dancing shoes, which eventually met a tragic end, were based on the shoes Olivia Newton-John wore in the last scene of the movie. I haven't replaced them because I haven't found a pair exactly alike. I probably smoked for 20 years because of that last scene. And only this Saturday night I looked in the mirror and realized I was wearing something disturbingly similar to Sandy's bad-girl-sexy-outfit and I had to force myself to change.

Evidently, it's genetic. I recently learned my crush was shared by my 84-year-old grandmother.

I want to see Hairspray with you, I have always liked that John Travolta, she told me.

I had a crush on John Travolta when I was your age, I shared with Ainsley.

Who's John Travolta?

You know, from Grease?

Oh, yeah. I think I've got a crush on him too!

See? It's genetic.

Hmmm. Don't you think John and Zac look alike?

Monday, December 10, 2007

Lourdes Bashing


While listening to the radio the other day I heard a female DJ pick apart Lourdes, the daughter of Madonna.

Oh My God, that Lourdes needs to be introduced to the tweezers. She not only had a massive uni-brow, but she's got a full on mustache too, said mommy DJ.

The DJ happens to be the mother of a baby girl.

Hello! Lourdes is a little girl. At what age are we mothers expected to sit our daughters down and tweeze, pluck, wax and shave them?

Is 6 too young? Maybe girls should start shaving their legs at 8? The Burning Times has a report on Nair Pretty, a chemical acid hair removal cream, being marketed directly to 10-year-old girls for their clean bikini line. It's profoundly disturbing that I'm no longer shocked.

Maybe it's not even about when the girls might be ready for such milestones into womanhood, maybe it's all about prevention of mean girl attention. Perhaps a mother's best bet is to attempt to prevent scathing criticism of a girl's appearance by prematurely eradicating any hair that might attempt to grow anywhere on her body.

You should be ashamed of yourself Sister DJ. You've just opened the door for bad daughter Karma.

You will find, as your daughter matures, that it is extraordinarily difficult to teach a young girl that appearance isn't everything when all evidence is to the contrary.

Friday, December 7, 2007

First Crush


Hey Ainsley, remember when I told you that if Austin was hitting you that meant he liked you?

Yeah.

Well, I was wrong to tell you that. I don't ever want you to think anyone, ever has any right to treat you with disrespect. I want you to always expect respect, especially from boys who like you. A boy never, ever has any right to hit you, slap you or call you names.

And if a Austin likes you he needs to find a better, nicer way to express himself. You always deserve that. Do you understand?

Yes. Well, we were just playing tag ball and the ball hurts when you get tagged so we had to take some time outs.

Okay. When is a boy allowed to hit you or call you names?

Never.

What are you going to do if it happens?

Tell him to stop and come get you or the teacher.

Okay then. Good.


Read the original exchange at He's Always Hitting Me.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Science Sheros

Sometimes I hear about a girl or three who, frankly, astounds me. They accomplish things I never thought to accomplish.

Girls cleaned house at the annual Siemens Competition in Math, Science and Technology this year.

According to an MSNBC article by Karen Matthews, Isha Jain, a senior at Freedom High School in Bethlehem, Pa., won the individual prize for her biology project on bone growth in zebrafish fins.

Janelle Schlossberger and Amanda Marinoff, seniors at John F. Kennedy High School in Plainview, N.Y., won the top team prize for their research into tuberculosis treatments.

Jain's research has already been published in Developmental Dynamics and said her research should lead to understanding bone growth in other vertebrates along with bone disorders in humans.

Schlossberger and Marinoff said their research could lead to more effective treatments for drug-resistant tuberculosis.

After synthesizing these drugs we need to then go back to modify them and optimize them to maximize their effectiveness, Marinoff was quoted as saying in the MSNBC article.

The scientists won $100,000 in scholarships.

You Go Girls!


Every parent can encourage their daughters to think ambitiously about technology and science by providing girls with traditionally "boy" toys. One of these winners flew off the stage into her father's arms after winning. Obviously, he encouraged her scientific ambitions.

Think Wii by Nintendo (whoever bought the Wii last week through So Sioux Me - I can't express how gratifying and validating that $20 was!), Melissa and Doug Solar System 48pc Floor , or Meade 70AZ-A Telescope and, CHEM C1000: Chemistry Experime.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Dove Reality Diaries


by Tracee Sioux

More and more I'm coming into contact with teenage girls and young women who meet the beauty ideal - 100 lbs, blond highlights, blue eyed, clear skin, fantastic fashion sense - and discovering their self-esteem is as low as anyones.

Even those who meet the beauty ideal don't understand why I have a blank mystified stare when they tell me how they aren't pretty enough.

What I'm thinking is, If YOU don't measure up then no one does.

Which brings us to the core of the problem. No one does and no one can.

The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty "aims to widen the definition of beauty and inspire positive self-image among women – in short, to help more women feel beautiful every day."

Their newest venture in the cause to broaden beauty is the Reality Diaries.

The press release states, "The Reality Diaries Program is a 6 week program that revolves around the lives of four real girls who share their personal self-esteem stories online. They record their journey online through the use of blogs and videos, allowing girls across the country to go behind-the-scenes on their real lives and understand the factors that impact their self-esteem. Each girl deals with a different self-esteem issue and the Diaries will reflect how the media influences their self-esteem."

Each of the girls are 17 and seniors in high school. Each have different beauty pressures: Chelsea, the black pageant girl and becomes hyper-critical of every flaw to try to stamp it out before the other contestants single it out, Sydney; whose mother wants to fix her complex about her nose with a graduation gift of rhinoplasty, which only makes her feel worse; Jordan, who seems to meet the beauty standard but who picks herself apart because she fears the boys have unrealistically high standards she'll never meet; and Irene, the "pretty Asian girl" who overlooks racial slurs to gain social acceptance.

The Reality Diaries is moderated by Jess, Doves Global Ambassador of Self Esteem, who, like the rest of us, doesn't measure up to today's beauty standards, but has a self esteem anyway.

As a tool for girls the Reality Diaries will hopefully serve to make girls feel connected to other girls. Hopefully, they will realize how unrealistic the beauty ideal is and learn to have a positive self esteem regardless of cultural expectations.

For parents and educators the Reality Diaries are a great opportunity to observe what girls are really thinking and feeling about themselves today.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Discovery Girls Prize Goes To . . .

So, you get the idea. There are tools out there, like Discovery Girls, that will help you discuss important stuff with your daughter, like how to deal with mean girls and how to cope with an embarrassing moment.

More communication is always better. Sharing something of your own sticky situations and how you coped soothes a daughter's soul.

Fab Girls Guides are some pretty good tools to utilize. Not only will they entertain your daughter, but they will open doors for discussion and communication - and that's never a bad thing.

Thanks to Discovery Girls for their generous donation of this set of all four guides. I very much appreciate it. I also appreciate every reader who took the time to enter the contest.

Without further blathering. . . Tamara who wore a white dress in the school play, which made it possible for everyone to see her penguin panties is our winner. She wins because Ainsley and I thought it was the funniest. Nothing will adequately compensate for the whole school calling you Chilly Willy for a whole year, Tamara - but this is the least I could do. Please email me privately with your contact information at traceesioux at yahoo.com.

Read the original article at Discovery Girls Contest.

Monday, December 3, 2007

He Keeps Hitting Me


by Tracee Sioux

Mom, Austin kept hitting me and throwing the ball at me today. He pulled my hair and called me stupid a bunch of times!

Hmmm. Sounds like he likes you.

What? He's being so mean to me!

I know. That's what boys do when they like you.

Really?

Really.

Isn't he the one you have a crush on?

Yes.

So, then. I guess he likes you back.

Oh.

Monday, December 31, 2007

Tone Control


We all know our own flaws, and recognize them in our children, if we have any self-perception.

I was struck by this paragraph in Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesiaby Elizabeth Gilbert, I'm never going to be a wallflower, but that doesn't mean I can't take a serious look at my talking habits and alter some aspects for the better - working within my personality.

Yes, I like talking, but perhaps I don't have to curse so much, and perhaps I don't always have to go for the cheap laugh, and maybe I don't need to talk about myself quite so constantly. Or here's a radical concept - maybe I can stop interrupting others when they are speaking.

Wow, she must have really harnessed the Divine if she can control all that. I would add to that tone. I want to be able to say that I can control the tone of my voice. And that my daughter can control hers.

I know I've written about my tone before. My tone turtle idea, making us pay a quarter for every time we use a tone, didn't work out because she has no quarters and no concept of money. Many of you find my tone amusing - as do I, which is the core of the problem. It gets laughs - I like making people laugh. I find it instantly gratifying and validating.

I often refer to my tone as Angry Turrets Syndrome. Because it feels like something out of my control. The key here is that it feels like Angry Turrets Syndrome - in reality it is something that I need to learn to control. I've recently discovered that with much effort and a lot of meditation, praying and practice I can control anything, even the way I feel.Did everyone else already know you can control your feelings? It's a bit of a 2006-2007 Revelation for me.

It doesn't matter how I got my tone - let me just say, I come by it honestly. My tone is justified most of the time. My ego needs to know that. I have every right to be upset when I am upset. My ego needs to know that too. But, I choose to give up the tone anyway.

It's time to give it up. It's not getting me what I want. When something is ineffective then it's time to try something else. But, what if I'm not funny anymore?

I've got a lot of incentive to change this aspect of my self. My daughter has taken up my tone - for laughs - to be a disobedient little hooligan - to get her way - to push Mommy's buttons. The other day her friend went home because she didn't enjoy being treated so rudely. It won't be long before she becomes brazen enough to use it with teachers and other authority figures.

In 2008 I WILL get control of my tone and I will insist Ainsley get control of hers. I will not beat myself about the head with self-loathing or punishment when I fail. This is an emotional habit. Habits are terribly difficult and painful to break. But, if I can break the habit of smoking, I can break this habitual tone. I will give myself the whole year to do it and I will cut myself some slack in the midst of it. I will be kind to myself and I will expect kindness from others.

I'm going to start with How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talkby Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. I find my tone increases the more frustrated I become with my children and my husband. Perhaps if I have better communication tools I won't become as frustrated. Does anyone else wonder how you make the OTHER communication partner actually respond the way they're supposed to when using these books?

Most recently we've developed a pattern where I kindly ask her to do something four times and then the fifth time I get angry and raise my voice. Only after I yell does she respond.

You don't have to yell at me!
Oh, Really? When I asked nicely 4 times you ignored me! Apparently I DO have to yell at you!

This must stop.

Tone is my parenting and personal New Year's Resolution - what's yours?

Friday, December 28, 2007

I Need Validation

For an entire year I've been doing this blog So Sioux Me.

I could use some validation.

Please go to Hoyden About Town and nominate your favorite So Sioux Me feminist post so that I may be included in the Top 40 Feminist Posts of 2007.

Nominate yourself and your other favorite bloggers too.

Contest open until the end of the year.

Thanks Readers. I appreciate that you read So Sioux Me.

Blond Ambition II


I'm sorry. I just can not feel like Tracee Sioux with plain brown hair.

It's the single brown tone that's making me feel un-me when I look in the mirror. Drab. Dull. Boring. Not on you. Just on me.

None of those words describe me. I'm fun, happy and exciting. My hair should reflect that.

Last night I spent $9.99 for a box of Loreal Chunking Blond Highlights. I put about 10 blond streaks back around my face and feel like myself again. They're a little orangey - but I do not care.

Ainsley asked for some blond streaks in her dark blond/light brown hair and I couldn't think of a reason to tell her no.

I can think of lots of reasons other mothers might give their daughters,
You're too young. You're hair is perfect like it is. You don't need lighter blond to be pretty. What will people think if I let my 6-year-old color her hair?

I respect all those reasons as valid and legitimate. But, none of those ring true for me, as I've already allowed red streaks and pink streaks - depending on what I was doing to my own hair. Who is a little blond going to hurt? No one. It's fun. That's all it is. It's instantly gratifying to change the color of one's hair. It's a hobby. It's a harmless distraction.

I'm a feminist, but not the natural kind. I think the beauty industry has gotten too extreme and makes many women feel like crap about themselves, I abhor their marketing tactics. But, I am happy when they invent a product that really works.

I use beauty products. I shave my legs, pits and groom my vajayjay. I pluck my eyebrows into a high arch. I wear make-up, apply sun screen and foundation. I get excited about my mascara. I try to control my acne with prescription medication. I'm willing to pay a lot of money for a product that makes melasma vanish and never return. Mind you - I get this stuff on the cheap so I'm not hurting myself financially in this quest for beauty. I got this rotating scrub brush and a chemical peel at a retiring Avon Lady's garage sale for a quarter.

And I love blond highlights. I'm a feminist who feels her best self with blond-highlights.

In December's O Magazine I read this quote from Nancy Etkoff, PhD, author of Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty, If we say, "Get rid of the advertisement and tell companies to stop making products, and no one will care about beauty - this is all just a creation that we can wipe away," we are denying who we are. People do care about how they look. They have adorned themselves since Paleolithic times. This is not a vanity issue or a women's issue or a United States issue. It is human nature.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

20 Posts All Women Should Read

Earlier in the month I got an email from DJ Nelson saying that my article My Face/Her Face had changed the way she thought about cosmetic surgery.

This is such a compliment.

In fact, the article, she said, made her not want to shave a little bit off the top of her nose after all.

Major compliment.

She went further and included my article on All Diva Media in a post titled: 20Posts All Women Should Read. (Yes, I did take her advice and read them.)

That's a compliment that netted me hundreds more page views.

I know this sounds a little lame, but it just barely occurred to me that to tell my readers about the article, and link to the it, is not just bragging. It's reciprocation. Of course I want to reciprocate, I'm just not very good at believing, feeling worthy of or embracing success. But, I'm actively working on that.

So, DJ Nelson, I feel privileged and grateful to have been included. Next time, and hopefully there is a next time, you include any link to me - I will immediately reciprocate.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Merry Me. Merry You?

I hope your Christmas was as merry as ours:

Ainsley performed in her annual Christmas Pageant. This year they took the show on the road and sang and danced and played instruments at a nursing home.

This is her first dance solo.







We baked cookies for Santa. I don't know where she gets that attitude.


Barbie upstaged the guitar. Body image was balanced out by juxtaposing Hispanic dark-haired Gabriella of High School Musical with larger than life Tracy Turnblad of Hairspray.

Crush was accounted for with Zac Afron as Troy of High School Musical. Zac does pair with both of them in the respective movies.


Zack and Ainsley got a kitchen - previously owned by The Joneses.

We're keeping it in Zack's room because he has more available space.

They equally love it.

Monday, December 24, 2007

The Argument for Santa


Dreaming is a skill we must teach our children, especially our girls.

Would Hillary Clinton be running for President if she only believed in the Possible?

Would Oprah be Oprah if she didn't didn't believe in the impossible?

Would Nancy Pelosi be Speaker of the House if she only focused on what was easily attainable?

Would Meg Whitman be running eBay if she hadn't learned to dream outside the box?

We must keep teaching our girls that dreams come true. Having Santa fulfill their heart's desire teaches them not only that they can dream, wish and believe - but that it pays off.

Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Our Father Tract


When I first got married my in-laws came to visit us in New York. By the end of the trip I had to ask my mother-in-law, Peggy, to please hand the religious tracts to the waitress with the tip so we could still get refills.

I'm all for religious conviction, but some things are just socially inappropriate.

Remember that religious tract Ainsley got with $20 in it?

Mommy, how do I save this? Can you copy 67 of these so I can hand them out to people?

She had taken a children's book with The Lord's Prayer and typed every single word of it.

She's definitely your grand-daughter, I told Peggy. They shared a high-five.

Saturday she and her cousins are going to perform their Christmas Pageant (which Peggy directs) at a nursing home. I think that will be the most socially appropriate time to let Ainsley pass out her religious tracts.

Unfortunately, we're not in a position to hand out $20 with them.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Friend Finder

When I was a little kid my parents moved a lot. It was the 70s and 80s. When we moved to a new neighborhood I would go out and knock on doors asking,
Do you have anyone my age that I could be friends with?

Can you imagine letting your little kid go door to door in a neighborhood you just moved to? As I said, it was the 70s and 80s and things were different then.

We just moved to a new neighborhood and I caught a glimpse of a little girl around Ainsley's age up the street.

We're going over there to meet that little girl and make you a friend. Get your shoes on.

I'm scared Mommy.

It's okay to be scared. But, we're doing it anyway. You're brave.

Knock, knock, knock.

Hi, this is Ainsley. We just moved in up the street. We thought she might be friends with you. What's your name?

Bernice.

How old are you Bernice?

Seven. Ainsley's six.

Are there other girls on the street to play with?

Nikki. She's across the street.

Would you like to go over and introduce Ainsley to her?

And that's how Ainsley had two instant friends in the neighborhood. I wish it was still that easy for adults to make friends.

How long would it take me to make the whole neighborhood Christmas cookies? Just because "people don't do that anymore" doesn't mean I shouldn't right? I mean, if it was effective then . . .

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

AGordon10 You won Discovery Girls Books

I never did hear back from Tamara for the Discovery Girls Books. So, I had Ainsley draw a new winner out of a hat. Please AGordon10 - email me at traceesioux at yahoo.com to give me your address so I can have the books sent to you. Congradulations and I do hope you and your family can make peace with your postfeminist, non-traditional familial roles.

For a chance to win Eat, Pray, Love - this season's best selling book by Elizabeth Gilbert please visit Blog Fabulous and leave a compliment about yourself in the comments section.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Mani-Pedi Bond

Sundays are for bonding and resting. Oh, and a spa manicure-pedicure in front of the tube.

Learn to groom, but be frugal about it. That's the lesson here.

Ainsley bites her nails and lets her cuticles grow out to the point where a manicure is a big painful task. Turning it into a fun spa girlie time avoids the holding her down while she's screaming as I push back the cuticles episode.

After the red nail polish, we add some Bite It. It's supposed to stop her from biting the nails down to bleeding by making them taste like dirt. It's probably more effective if you put it on more than once a month. I noticed this morning that she's already bitten most of the polish off her nails.

Perhaps your daughter shares this problem. You might try Control-It! 3 Jar ~ 21 Day Fingernail Biting Treatment OMEGA3 Extra Strength. I would not care that she bites her nails if she were not complaining that they hurt from hang nails and infection quite often.

Do you allow your daughter to participate in grooming activities? (To be fair, we very democratically did Zack's nails too.)

Sunday, December 16, 2007

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out!

Who doesn't love A Christmas Story? It's my favorite Christmas classic.

So, about those Barbies Ainsley keeps praying, wishing and asking Santa for. . .

Ralphie needed that Red Rider BB Gun just as Ainsley needs some Barbie dolls. I have overlooked the fact that Mattel makes the Mattel High School Musical Gabriella & Troy 2-Pack dolls for Ainsley. I also balanced it out with a Hairspray Deluxe Singing Tracey Turnblad.

I did not order the Link Larkin doll because Troy and Link are both Zac Afron and I am fundamentally too frugal.

It is unlikely she'll shoot her eye out, right?

I think they will come from Santa. Or should I get the credit?

Friday, December 14, 2007

Unbelievably Fabulous


by Tracee Sioux

I've been afraid that if I tell you about our good fortune it will vanish. That, I just could not bear. But, maybe it's real. Maybe God is going to let us keep this dream we've worked so hard for. Please God, let us keep this.

We just moved, this week, into the most marvelous and perfect Dream home.

The best part is - there are too many best parts to pick just one - is it the central air and heat which greatly improves our health?

Is it the massive 30X28 foot living room? Where Ainsley is jumping rope and Zack is actually riding his scooter and I have plenty of room to do yoga and exercise? The original parquet hard-wood floors and the vaulted lighted ceilings with a white and dark walnut beam contrast make such a cathedral effect I can't help but pray, "Thank You, God," when I walk into it.

Is it my own office? Giving me a legitimate and valid place to write and work?

Maybe it's the storage space? The kitchen is brand new and has two walls of cabinets - enough space for everything.

The massive living room has wall-to-wall original 1950s build-in shelves, drawers and cabinets. I've always gotten lusty over shelving.

The children have their own rooms and wait for it . . . . their own bathrooms! Yes, the house has 3 bathrooms! Ah, the frivolity of it!

I'm almost at a loss for words, except that I could literally write pages and pages of gratitude for every shelf and hook and cleanly painted wall (in exactly the colors I would have chosen) and cabinet and blind and appliance and strip of new carpet.

This is better than I've ever had it. Even when I was praying for it, I never dared to dream it would be this marvelous.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Forbidden Prayers, Wishes & Dreams


by Tracee Sioux

Yesterday we went walking, the kids and I, to get our exercise and take a break what seemed to be a downward spiral of bickering and frustration at home.

There's a prayer sanctuary near our house that's open to the public with some wishing wells out front. It's about a mile so we ventured forth.

Let's go in and pray. We can show God our gratitude for our blessings.

Not me. I'm praying for a Barbie.

Stupid Freaking Barbie! When she had one she dismembered and beheaded it. Now, it's her heart's desire.

Is it only because it's forbidden? I got her a Barbi-like knock off - do you think she'll be satisfied?

We made our wishes in the fountain, on penny at a time and then we had some more so we moved onto the nickels, dimes and quarters. Then Ainsley tried to fish them out because she was out of money but still had more wishes.

You can't steal other people's wishes Ainsley. And if you get your wishes back they might not come true.

So, in we went to pray. I knelt and prayed out loud (it's uncomfortable for me, but I try to teach by example) for all the wonderful gifts we've been given.

She went over to the spiral notebook and started writing.

Please bless that mom and dad will love each other all the time. Please let my brother be nice, she wrote.

Then we came home and she wrote a letter to Santa.

Mom how do you spell Barbie?

How do you spell Sleeping Beauty Princess Dress?

Okay now how to I write Barbie Computer?

Do you think he could really fit a tree house in a present?

A few days ago we were making a Dream Board, you know a collage of our dreams that we hope to come true. A visual representation of our goals, if you will.

She cut out a Bratz bedspread.

You don't want that, I tried convincing her.

I do want it.

Like every mother, my hearts desire is to make all her dreams come true at Christmas. But, you'll notice that I have a moral objection to nearly every toy on her list?

Is it irony, karma or a case of wanting the forbidden only because it's forbidden? Or is it the mass marketing to girls today telling them they must want these things?

I've my theories but I'd really, truly love to hear yours.

Pro-Ana Cheerleader Barbies
How Come Zack Gets A Barbie?
Bob vs. Barbie
Friends With Barbies
Go Bratz Go!
No Bratz No! Tantrum Or Go With The Flow?
Princess Ban
Cinderella Should Have Saved Herself
Ariel - The Little Mute
Belle - Battered Codependent

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Tamara Dear, Where Are You?

Tamara won the Discovery Girls books by placing a comment about her Penguin underwear showing through her play costume. Then the whole school called her Chilly Willy. She deserves those books.

But, I haven't heard from her. If you are she, please leave a comment here and email me directly. If you know her, please email her and tell her she's won!

If I don't hear from her in a few days I'll pick a second-place winner drawn from a hat. Someone needs those free books!

Missing Views

by Tracee Sioux

This is the view I was missing by going to the gym every day. Isn't it fantastic?

Honestly, my life to 33-years-old was not about health. One day I looked at my little family and realized every one of us had a medium-sized weight problem. Well, it wasn't exactly one day - I mean, my husband had been complaining for years and I was ignoring it until my pregnancy phase was over. Then Ainsley's doctor said she was on the border of having a weight issue. Even the baby was so fat I needed to lift weights to pick him up (but, it's cute on a baby).

If a plane gets into trouble they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first. Otherwise, you will render yourself incapacitated and there will be no one to save your children.

I find this method to be useful for other things like creating habits and instituting change in behavior and attitude.

First I got a gym membership and spent a year developing a habit of exercise for the first time in my life. I changed my attitude about it and learned to love it.

I established a clear connection in my brain that said exercise was a real part of our lifestyle before I felt I could give up the gym membership and venture out walking with my kids.

We're up to an easy two miles now. And it's a piece of cake. It's great bonding time and great talking time. Check out the view I was missing!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Hopelessly Devoted, John & Zac



by Tracee Sioux

Someone handed my daughter a religious tract with $20 in it.

I took her to Walmart and she chose the Hairspray DVD.

This, this is what I want.

Hairspray? Okay. $20 is a lot for a DVD, are you sure you don't want to wait till I find it at a garage sale?

No. I want it now. You know why? It has my favorite in it.

I'm hoping she just loves Tracy Turnblad.

Zac Efron, he's my favorite. I just love him.

There is a part of me that is just surprisingly Puritan which wants to shout, But, you're only 6 - what do you know of crushes? You shouldn't feel this way yet! You're not ready! Put that movie back! You'll never see another movie again!

Except that I am still hopelessly devoted to John Travolta, which dates back to me watching Grease when I was her age. The love is unchanged. My cousin shared my attraction to him and playing John and Sandy was our favorite game. We wanted to BE Olivia Newton-John. I listened to the Grease album over and over. I bought it on tape and CD.

My love transended Grease and progressed to all things John and Olivia. Olivia's albums including the old 70's folk music, the 80's pop Let's Get Physical album, and Xanadu. Let's not forget their encore movie together, Two Of A Kind. Then John's work Saturday Night Fever and Staying Alive - ooh la la. Urban Cowboy, American Gigolo and Pulp Fiction. I even watched those stupid 80s films with Kirsty Alley and the talking babies. I loved him, even when no one else did.

I passed my love on to my younger sister and she flew in for an Olivia concert in the 90s. When they remade and rereleased Grease we paid full price. I have the video. My husband got me an Olivia t-shirt for Christmas a few years back - I specifically asked for it.

My dancing shoes, which eventually met a tragic end, were based on the shoes Olivia Newton-John wore in the last scene of the movie. I haven't replaced them because I haven't found a pair exactly alike. I probably smoked for 20 years because of that last scene. And only this Saturday night I looked in the mirror and realized I was wearing something disturbingly similar to Sandy's bad-girl-sexy-outfit and I had to force myself to change.

Evidently, it's genetic. I recently learned my crush was shared by my 84-year-old grandmother.

I want to see Hairspray with you, I have always liked that John Travolta, she told me.

I had a crush on John Travolta when I was your age, I shared with Ainsley.

Who's John Travolta?

You know, from Grease?

Oh, yeah. I think I've got a crush on him too!

See? It's genetic.

Hmmm. Don't you think John and Zac look alike?

Monday, December 10, 2007

Lourdes Bashing


While listening to the radio the other day I heard a female DJ pick apart Lourdes, the daughter of Madonna.

Oh My God, that Lourdes needs to be introduced to the tweezers. She not only had a massive uni-brow, but she's got a full on mustache too, said mommy DJ.

The DJ happens to be the mother of a baby girl.

Hello! Lourdes is a little girl. At what age are we mothers expected to sit our daughters down and tweeze, pluck, wax and shave them?

Is 6 too young? Maybe girls should start shaving their legs at 8? The Burning Times has a report on Nair Pretty, a chemical acid hair removal cream, being marketed directly to 10-year-old girls for their clean bikini line. It's profoundly disturbing that I'm no longer shocked.

Maybe it's not even about when the girls might be ready for such milestones into womanhood, maybe it's all about prevention of mean girl attention. Perhaps a mother's best bet is to attempt to prevent scathing criticism of a girl's appearance by prematurely eradicating any hair that might attempt to grow anywhere on her body.

You should be ashamed of yourself Sister DJ. You've just opened the door for bad daughter Karma.

You will find, as your daughter matures, that it is extraordinarily difficult to teach a young girl that appearance isn't everything when all evidence is to the contrary.

Friday, December 7, 2007

First Crush


Hey Ainsley, remember when I told you that if Austin was hitting you that meant he liked you?

Yeah.

Well, I was wrong to tell you that. I don't ever want you to think anyone, ever has any right to treat you with disrespect. I want you to always expect respect, especially from boys who like you. A boy never, ever has any right to hit you, slap you or call you names.

And if a Austin likes you he needs to find a better, nicer way to express himself. You always deserve that. Do you understand?

Yes. Well, we were just playing tag ball and the ball hurts when you get tagged so we had to take some time outs.

Okay. When is a boy allowed to hit you or call you names?

Never.

What are you going to do if it happens?

Tell him to stop and come get you or the teacher.

Okay then. Good.


Read the original exchange at He's Always Hitting Me.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Science Sheros

Sometimes I hear about a girl or three who, frankly, astounds me. They accomplish things I never thought to accomplish.

Girls cleaned house at the annual Siemens Competition in Math, Science and Technology this year.

According to an MSNBC article by Karen Matthews, Isha Jain, a senior at Freedom High School in Bethlehem, Pa., won the individual prize for her biology project on bone growth in zebrafish fins.

Janelle Schlossberger and Amanda Marinoff, seniors at John F. Kennedy High School in Plainview, N.Y., won the top team prize for their research into tuberculosis treatments.

Jain's research has already been published in Developmental Dynamics and said her research should lead to understanding bone growth in other vertebrates along with bone disorders in humans.

Schlossberger and Marinoff said their research could lead to more effective treatments for drug-resistant tuberculosis.

After synthesizing these drugs we need to then go back to modify them and optimize them to maximize their effectiveness, Marinoff was quoted as saying in the MSNBC article.

The scientists won $100,000 in scholarships.

You Go Girls!


Every parent can encourage their daughters to think ambitiously about technology and science by providing girls with traditionally "boy" toys. One of these winners flew off the stage into her father's arms after winning. Obviously, he encouraged her scientific ambitions.

Think Wii by Nintendo (whoever bought the Wii last week through So Sioux Me - I can't express how gratifying and validating that $20 was!), Melissa and Doug Solar System 48pc Floor , or Meade 70AZ-A Telescope and, CHEM C1000: Chemistry Experime.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Dove Reality Diaries


by Tracee Sioux

More and more I'm coming into contact with teenage girls and young women who meet the beauty ideal - 100 lbs, blond highlights, blue eyed, clear skin, fantastic fashion sense - and discovering their self-esteem is as low as anyones.

Even those who meet the beauty ideal don't understand why I have a blank mystified stare when they tell me how they aren't pretty enough.

What I'm thinking is, If YOU don't measure up then no one does.

Which brings us to the core of the problem. No one does and no one can.

The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty "aims to widen the definition of beauty and inspire positive self-image among women – in short, to help more women feel beautiful every day."

Their newest venture in the cause to broaden beauty is the Reality Diaries.

The press release states, "The Reality Diaries Program is a 6 week program that revolves around the lives of four real girls who share their personal self-esteem stories online. They record their journey online through the use of blogs and videos, allowing girls across the country to go behind-the-scenes on their real lives and understand the factors that impact their self-esteem. Each girl deals with a different self-esteem issue and the Diaries will reflect how the media influences their self-esteem."

Each of the girls are 17 and seniors in high school. Each have different beauty pressures: Chelsea, the black pageant girl and becomes hyper-critical of every flaw to try to stamp it out before the other contestants single it out, Sydney; whose mother wants to fix her complex about her nose with a graduation gift of rhinoplasty, which only makes her feel worse; Jordan, who seems to meet the beauty standard but who picks herself apart because she fears the boys have unrealistically high standards she'll never meet; and Irene, the "pretty Asian girl" who overlooks racial slurs to gain social acceptance.

The Reality Diaries is moderated by Jess, Doves Global Ambassador of Self Esteem, who, like the rest of us, doesn't measure up to today's beauty standards, but has a self esteem anyway.

As a tool for girls the Reality Diaries will hopefully serve to make girls feel connected to other girls. Hopefully, they will realize how unrealistic the beauty ideal is and learn to have a positive self esteem regardless of cultural expectations.

For parents and educators the Reality Diaries are a great opportunity to observe what girls are really thinking and feeling about themselves today.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Discovery Girls Prize Goes To . . .

So, you get the idea. There are tools out there, like Discovery Girls, that will help you discuss important stuff with your daughter, like how to deal with mean girls and how to cope with an embarrassing moment.

More communication is always better. Sharing something of your own sticky situations and how you coped soothes a daughter's soul.

Fab Girls Guides are some pretty good tools to utilize. Not only will they entertain your daughter, but they will open doors for discussion and communication - and that's never a bad thing.

Thanks to Discovery Girls for their generous donation of this set of all four guides. I very much appreciate it. I also appreciate every reader who took the time to enter the contest.

Without further blathering. . . Tamara who wore a white dress in the school play, which made it possible for everyone to see her penguin panties is our winner. She wins because Ainsley and I thought it was the funniest. Nothing will adequately compensate for the whole school calling you Chilly Willy for a whole year, Tamara - but this is the least I could do. Please email me privately with your contact information at traceesioux at yahoo.com.

Read the original article at Discovery Girls Contest.

Monday, December 3, 2007

He Keeps Hitting Me


by Tracee Sioux

Mom, Austin kept hitting me and throwing the ball at me today. He pulled my hair and called me stupid a bunch of times!

Hmmm. Sounds like he likes you.

What? He's being so mean to me!

I know. That's what boys do when they like you.

Really?

Really.

Isn't he the one you have a crush on?

Yes.

So, then. I guess he likes you back.

Oh.