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Friday, October 31, 2008

Manadoob Books - 2 Free

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Cause I love to give stuff away - I'm doing a last-minute Bloggy Giveaway.

They sent me one of these Manadoob books to review. I rather liked them. They combine the real - humans and animals communicate intuitively and have a special intimate bond - and combine it with fantasy and fairy tale, a dash of magic and maybe even a little Dr. Suess and you've got Manadoob.

Join these ancient, mystical animals as they enter the lives of Wella, Zack and Pete and change the world as they know it. In this story of mystery and adventure, the Manadoob reveal how the secret connection between humans and animals can live forever.

Click on the website and bounce right back. Leave a comment and you're entered to win. I'll leave the contest open for the weekend and announce 2 winners on Tuesday Nov. - don't forget to vote before you check your email to see if you won.
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The books are for 8+ but, my 7-year-old is a great reader so she's getting The Manadoob Secret Connection Kit for Christmas.The kit comes with these great "Moobia Stones." (Which, no doubt, my kids will fight over.)

One of the magnificent things I love about this company is that they are donating 10% of their earnings to Best Friends Animal Society at www.bestfriends.org.

Leave a comment, win a book and stock up for Christmas.

More giveaways at the Bloggy Giveaways Quarterly Carnival!

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Real Girls' Costumes

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Dalmatian made from thrift Store finds and a black marker and creativity.

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Miranda (10) is Cerberus, the three-headed dog that guards the gates of Hell in mythology. Ivy, (5) wanted to be a Murloc. That's a fish-like creature from the World of Warcraft game. Handmade by mom.

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A Fire Truck coming to put out her brother, the fire. (Very Clever)

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11-year old Joanna wearing her "Hungry Toilet" costume. (LOL!)

Leave a comment voting on your favorites.

I'll run the contest through the weekend allowing parents to email their Trick-or-Treating photos (traceesioux@yahoo.com). I'll give away the $150 Seagate FreeAgent GO Portable Hard Drive on Monday morning.

Empowering Girls Halloween Costume Extension

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Tonight is Halloween so I'm extending the Halloween Costume Contest through the weekend (Winner announced Monday morning) to give parents a chance to email me (traceesioux@yahoo.com) their girls' Trick-or-Treating costumes.

I'll publish the costumes I've received so far over the next few days so you can enjoy them. If there is one you think is particularly awesome leave a comment voting for that costume to win the $150 Seagate FreeAgent GO Portable Hard Drive.

Here's what I've learned so far. Parents, in general, are not dressing their daughters in a provocative way for Halloween.

Parents are angry, bewildered and shocked by the marketing.

Some people believe that girls and parents somehow created the demand for these products.

I disagree with that premise.

After reading the research in So Sexy So Soon I do not believe that marketers and advertisers responded to a demand for ever-sexier products for children.

I believe marketers intentionally created the demand.

Marketers perceived a "vulnerability" that they could exploit and profit from and CREATED the demand for provocative products. That vulnerability includes the fact that all humans are naturally drawn to sex - including children. Where before there was government regulation protecting children from sexually provocative marketing and content when we grew up - now there is not. Parent's haven't necessarily been educated or informed about their lack of protection resulting from deregulation of the media. Marketers are also exploiting a general lack of discussion and lack of comfortability between parent and child about issues of sex and sexuality.

Parents who buy these products are not trying to sexualize their children, they simply haven't regrouped from the same bewildered shock you feel and purchase the products out of naiveté and "busyness."

Parents who buy these costumes are wrong in blindly trusting companies - but that's their big crime - Trusting Companies.

Girls - little girls - are not hootchies, whores, Lolitas, sluts, street walkers or any other sexually derogatory word you might be tempted to apply to them tonight.

Girls are unsophisticated consumers because they are children and it takes practice, experience, education and persistence to become an educated consumer. They are subjected to an onslaught of exaggeratedly "feminine" and hyper-sexual marketing from dozens of sources. I've been writing this website for a while now and it wasn't until reading So Sexy So Soon that I fully understood all the pieces to the puzzle.

I knew something was up - but I couldn't articulate exactly what was causing it. Most parents - I estimate an overwhelming majority - know something is up, but they can't quite put their finger on what.

Girls' sexuality is being exploited with this type of hyper-sexual marketing and I INSIST that it is inappropriate to further exploit them by referring to them in sexually derogatory manner no matter what costume they wear on Halloween.
Read more about that in Empowering Girls: Hootchy Clothes.

Anger is appropriate. But, I believe it belongs squarely on the companies creating and marketing these products.

I urge you to look at real girls tonight and their overly-busy, naive and misinformed parents - however inappropriately dressed they might be tonight and consider them at worst - UNSOPHISTICATED CONSUMERS.

Also keep these 2 things in mind:

* Halloween is the one night when millions of parents allow their children to break normal rules. I, myself, will allow Ainsley to wear all the make-up she wants tonight. Just for fun. I will probably put some on Zack. I would also let my daughter wear shorter skirts than normal, high heeled shoes, brightly colored hair, etc. Last year, Ainsley declared herself a Princess at the last minute and I let her though I try to avoid the Disney Princess Culture as a rule (pictured - I was a Runner-up Dairy Queen.)

* Packaging for a costume might be more intentionally provocative than the actual costume. Just because the photograph in the marketing is overtly sexual doesn't mean that a 3 year old wearing that costume is in any way sexual at all.

Be safe tonight. Have fun with your children.

Be compassionate toward other families who just don't know what you know about the sexualization of girls. You can help educate and them by forwarding them this article or telling them about this website.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Meaningfully Frugal Christmas Tip #2

You will have many choices this Christmas.

Some of them suck.

They come with bells and whistles and have fancy price tags. Many come down to a choice between lazy and expense or economy and real value.

Let's practice:

Choice 1
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The Fisher-Price Smart Cycle, $74.48.

For the really paranoid parent who deems the actual joy of bike riding as "too dangerous." This parent watches too much news and thinks the boogie man or a life-threatening boo boo is around every corner.

Come on folks - did exercise become a burdensome chore when you were on your bike as a 7 year old feeling the wind in your hair wondering just how fast you could go? Or when you started forcing yourself to exercise indoors - going no where? Just think - you won't even have to take the training wheels off. It's like that old saying,

It's like learning to ride a bike - wait, kids don't do that anymore.

There's a childhood obesity epidemic so exercise is a big deal - or haven't you heard? You think more television and video games is the solution?

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I chose real bikes. It comes with all sorts of experiences and joys your child will remember forever.

Ainsley got a new bike for her recent birthday because she had outgrown her old one.

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Zack is getting this used bike we got at a garage sale for $5.

Because he's 2 years old and he's not addicted to new packaging. He just wants a bike like his big sister. Five dollars people.

I'm asking Santa for a $15 padded bike seat. Because my $7 garage sale bike is awesome - except evidently adults get "bike ass." Bike riding is fantastic family time and you know what - it is Fun Exercise.

Choice 2

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LeapFrog® Tag Reading System, $49.99.

A pen that actually reads FOR your kid.

You know cause actually learning to read has been deemed technologically obsolete.

It will also alleviate any obligation you have of sitting down and teaching your child to read - or more importantly sitting down and teaching them the value of reading as a way to learn, entertain one's self, explore the world, relax,

do well in school or perform in a job.

It's no biggy - just buy this pen. It will do all the work for you.

Myself? I'm going to get my kids some well-cared for used books. Do you know how many used books I can get for $50? Heck at some garage sales and thrift stores they go for 50 cents a piece. I'll get them 5-10 to share for a mere $5 and they will be so happy and grateful!

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Ainsley was the first kid in her class to become a Read-a-Saurus this week. She was proud. I was proud. But, best of all she loves reading. Cause it's freaking fun that's why and books are our prized possessions not expensive pens that read FOR us.

More on bikes:

B-R-A-V-E

Girl Hero

Empowering Girls: Bike Riding

More on Meaningfully Frugal Christmas Gifts

Steal This Christmas Gift Please!

Pro-Girl Book, The Perfect You

Meaningfully Frugal Christmas Tip # 1

Hey Wait - don't leave without hitting the RSS Feed cause you don't want to miss the great ways to have meaningful holiday without touching a credit card.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Great Father/Husband

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This is Zack, Ainsley's 2 year old brother.

Playing house and taking care of baby dolls serves the same purpose in boys as it does in girls. It teaches nurturing, compassion and parenting skills.

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Out there - maybe in your house - there is a girl whom Zack will marry.

For that empowered girl, I teach Zack nurturing and compassion, empathy, dishes, cooking and laundry. Yes, already.

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I like to think that somewhere out there is a mother who is also teaching her son how to do housework, cook and take care of children, so he'll make a good boyfriend, a great husband for my daughter and a fantastic father for her children.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Empowering Girls Halloween Costume Contest

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If you're new here allow me to introduce myself. I'm Tracee Sioux and this is a website about girls. We are growing powerful girls here.

We challenge hyper-sexual marketing and advertising and confront mean girl behavior and find tools to instill great self esteem and body image.

Have you seen the stories about the Pornification of Halloween with alarming photos of girls who look more like porn fantasies than girls playing dress up?

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I wrote one of them last year.

That was before I read So Sexy So Soon by Diane E. Levin, Ph.D. and Jean Kilbourne Ed.D. which clearly explained that girls haven't become hyper-sexualized at all. Marketers and Advertisers have become hyper-sexualized in an attempt to exploit children's inherent innocent sexuality for profit.

This year when I went to Amazon Associates to look at their Halloween Widgets I saw the hyper-sexual photos of girls' costumes and instead of being angry that girls have become too sexualized . . .

This year, I thought this has nothing to do with our GIRLS.

This is MARKETING.

The girls did not become sexier - the marketing started encouraging girls to buy sexier products. There is a huge difference.

Girls had nothing to do with this.

Parents had nothing to do with this.

* My daughter didn't make the costume. The Costume company did.

* Your daughter didn't dress another little girl in the costume and put her photo on Amazon for everyone to freak out over. The Marketer did.

* Parents didn't pose the girl model provocatively for the photograph on the packaging that resembles child pornography.The photographer did.

* I, as a mother, am not marketing provocative costumes for my child to wear. I'm not even buying those costumes and if I could convince other parents to wake up to bad marketing intentions other parents wouldn't buy it either.

All the hype is marketing.

This type of marketing is incredibly disrespectful to all girls. It's incredibly disrespectful to parents.

It's intentionally closer and closer to pornography because of the fundamental marketing premise "sex sells." Even innocent children are attracted to sexual imagery. That doesn't make them less innocent, it makes them human.

Girls and their parents should be so angry that marketers would stoop to this level that we should STARVE them out. Do. Not. Buy. These. Costumes!

This is exploitation of girls in marketing for profit.

What are girls REALLY wearing on Halloween?

Are they all in touch with their "inner Lolita" as this marketing, and the inflammatory news reporting about the marketing, suggests?

I don't know. I suspect not. Let's find out.

Email me (traceesioux@yahoo.com) a photo of your daughter's Halloween Costume by Nov. 2 and you are entered to win.

I'll publish them on Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me and we'll just see -

- Have our daughters really become hyper-sexual or are we allowing marketers to project that identity on them and sully their reputations?

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Seagate has offered to give one Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me reader a FreeAgent GO sleek portable hard drives worth $150.

I'll choose the best costume and that person will win the prize.

Oh and make sure you subscribe to Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me because we're going to focus on how to create a meaningful and joyful holiday season without touching a credit card or giving our hard-earned money to companies who disrespect girls.

More giveaways at the Bloggy Giveaways Quarterly Carnival!

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Saturday, October 25, 2008

Vote With Your Daughter


Thanks to Claire Mysko, author of You're Amazing: A No-Pressure Guide to Being Your Best Self, for pointing out the Take Our Daughters to the Polls initiative from The White House Project.

My husband and I took out daughter out of school one day last week and went to the court house to cast our votes. I'm an election judge this year so we voted early. (Early voting will also reduce complaining about the line.)

They will allow your child in the voting booth with you and you can show them how you go about choosing your candidates.

Ainsley and I have been going to vote together since she was two and we arrived at the government building and she said, "Where's the boats? You said we were going boating."

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She'll remember this year specifically because this year, we got to vote for Hillary Clinton. I also voted for her BFF's mom, who was running for county attorney on my ballot (even though she wasn't on my party's ticket).

No matter who you're voting for - take your daughter to the polls and show her one of the more effective ways for women to be powerful.

Democracy is what we make it through our participation. Teach her to participate.

I'm an election judge today - getting my Patriotic High - read more about it on Blog Fabulous.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Christmas Tip #1

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I'm thrilled to give a Juku Couture Doll by Jaks to Whirlwind.

Here's the thing - Christmas is coming.

The Christmas toys are already out on the shelves, the Christmas decor displays are already out. This is causing people premature Holiday panic. Don't stock up on sleeping pills and Xanex just yet.

I'm committed to not putting a single gift on a credit card.

{{{gasp?}}}

No, silly. I haven't put any Christmas gifts on a credit card for years - literally. My children never go "without."

I've got skills. This year I'm committed to sharing them with you.

I'd like to help you figure out how to provide The Best Christmas EVER for your kids - infused with meaning, fun and joy - without going over budget.

We Thinking Parents can also do it Without feeding anti-girl advertising. The only way to make anti-girl marketers stop their hyper-sexual advertising is to STARVE them.

Tip #1?

Start now. I already have several toys stashed away for both of my kids.

Enter the Bloggy Giveaways next week to stock up on gifts for everyone you love.

Look - if you think you can't make it through a holiday without whipping out your credit card or saving up $500. . .

Thank Goodness! You're wrong!

Subscribe to my RSS feed and I'll share my thrifty economic tips and we'll have a very Merry Christmas that doesn't only empower your girls - it will empower YOU!

Oh and for Kwanzaa and Hanukkah or Festivus - the same principles of economy and joy apply.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Girl Effect


Thanks to Violet for sending this to me.

This is also the reason I love mentoring.

One woman changes the life of one girl and she, in turn, changes the world.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Smarty Kids & Thinking Parents

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I just read my "marketing bio." If you're reading this Empowering Girls website then I'm guessing this is also your "marketing bio." We're the new purchasing demographic called "Thinking Parents" and we're raising the marketing target called "Smarty Kids."

Our vulnerable spot where we'll "spend heavily?" To keep our kids "safe and happy" and there are 32 million of us.

Straight from a press release:

Smarty Kids: there is a growing population of kids today that we call Smarty Kids:

* these kids are tech-savvy and appreciate substance to their media encounters.

* Smarty Kids benefit from their parents’ dual income and digital awareness.

* they enjoy learning from experience and are physically and socially active.

Thinking Parents: those moms and dads entering the crucial elementary to tween years when peers begin competing for influence.

• 32 Million moms are online

• Parental Supervision on the computer is high

• They spend heavily on their tween to keep them safe and happy

What’s on the mind of a Smarty Kid:

• Having the coolest gadgets and games

• The pressure of fitting in with their peers

• Mild environmental and ethical issues

• Being entertained and engaged

Smarty Kids on technology and media:

• Have available access to technology and media platforms, with some having personal technology in their bedrooms.

• Access a computer both at home and at school and spend more time online than any other childhood group.

• Interact with more forms of media than their peers, from paper and ink to television to online to mobile.

Our average income is between $56 and $76, we're likely college graduates, live in cul-de-sacs and we're upward bound. We're likely between 35 - 44.

I often hear this from frustrated parents: "It won't matter if I write the company or if I refuse to buy the product. I'm just one parent."

Except that you're not. You're 1 of 32 million Thinking Parents with 2.5 Smarty Kids, who is taking the time to let the company know what products you want to spend your money on.

Want that toy kitchen in a neutral green (as opposed to the pink) so your toddler boy can learn to be a good husband and father and oh, I don't know - feed himself without growing up thinking an ability to cook to feed one's own self makes one gay? Write the company and tell them, "I'm a Thinking Parent and I would buy this for my two male Smarty Kids if it were in green or yellow."

This press release signals a changing tide in the children's toy and media market. This Christmas, with it's more stressful economy, will also work in the Thinking Parents' favor. Rather than wantonly spending money on every whim our children have, we'll be more choosy about the message, about the quality, about the meaning and the profit margin. The toy & media companies are poised to work harder.

They know we're out here making conscious decisions and they are willing to meet our values to get our money.

What questions will you be asking of the companies you spend your Christmas budget with?

Photo Source: This Smarty Kid is named Sarah and she lives and breathes soccer. Her mom Ellen Gerstein is a Thinking Parent over at "Confessions of an It Girl.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Target Women: Disney Princesses



I love Sarah Haskins. I also love the readers who forwarded this link to me. Thanks.

Friday, October 17, 2008

HangPROUD

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I just discovered HangPROUD.com, (being me. living free.) a female empowering website last week. Founded by Diane Prefontaine and Carla Alpert, this site encourages women and girls to stop the negative chatter and be a force for positive change.

In the corner is the phrase "snap out of it," It makes me chuckle.

They define HangPROUD: To stand united and embrace our unique beauty and individual strengths to make powerful changes in our lives, communities and the world.

My absolute favorite part of this website is the eMentoring feature. Grown women can sign up to be mentors. Girls can sign up to get a mentor. The owners of the site will pair like-minded girls and women together. The relationships happen via email, Facebook, Skype, etc.

Why didn't I think of that?

HangPROUD is about redirecting wasteful negative conversations about ourselves so that we can use this time to make powerful changes in our lives, communities and the world! it says on the Pay It Forward feature. There you'll find real ways to make a difference in the world right now.

They even had a HangPROUD scholarship fund. They donate 10% of the proceeds from their eshop, which will to partial scholarships they hope to be able to award in 2009. The above t-shirt is just a sampling of some very cool stuff you could buy to support the cause.

The site even includes instructions for how to host your own HangProud Self Esteem party for girls 10-14.

There are also workshop guides for middle schools and they will even host parties and workshops for women over 25.

Oh, and they have a lovely story on me in the Day in the Life feature.

The world can not have too many forces of positive change for women and girls.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Professional Future of Girls

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If you're like me you give some thought to giving your kids career advice. We're big on academics and when Ainsley says, What should I do when I grow up? We are clear, You must do something that makes money. You choose what it is, find your purpose, but you must be able to take care of yourself.

As a writer I have found it difficult to make my way in this profession. Not because I've had difficulty finding work. But, because I've had difficulty being PAID good money for the work I do. This is going to change for me any minute. I know it. I'm currently accepting offers to be paid good money for what I'm doing here. Feel free to email me at traceesioux@yahoo.com to send offers.

I've flirted with the idea of pushing my children towards medicine and scientific professions. All you have to do is look in the want ads or interview your friends about how much money they make to realize that:

1. Life is easier if you have money.

2. Science, technology, medical left brain thinking pays more money and those jobs are always available.

I write because I love it and I'm meant to do it, but I've many times wished I had just gone and been a physical therapist like my friends Christy and Cindy. It just would have been easier, more stable and secure.

Then I listened to this guy Daniel Pink on Oprah's Soul Series talk about how creative people - people like myself, writers, artists, designers, spiritual leaders, talkers - right brain thinkers are inheriting the earth and its economics in the very near future. In fact, he believes it is already happening and we should prepare our children for creative professions. Because those will be the secure and stable ones.

Daniel Pink wrote A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future
and he says that left brain activities, like accounting, mathematics, computer and science careers, are the ones that will be outsourced or we'll make software and machines to do that work during our children's careers.

The more secure bet? Right Brain Careers that involve creativity, innovation, individuality, design, empathy, and meaning, story telling, big picture thinking.

Is it a coincidence that these attributes and skills have also been traditionally feminine skills which we have always rewarded in girls, but which have also traditionally made far less money and carried less social value?

Watch it for free on Oprah's Soul Series - he's got facts to back it up and it's a convincing argument.

It might change the way you talk to your kids about their future professions. It might change how you react when your 17-year-old announces she is going to art school.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Beacon Street Girls

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A new series of books for 9 to 13 year old girls may actually promote good health, says an article by Tara Parker-Pope titled Healthful Messages, Wrapped in Fiction.

This could be this generation's Judy Blume. Seriously, is there a woman out there that doesn't feel eternally grateful for Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret

We must, we must, we must increase our bust!" {{{flashback}}}

Following anecdotal evidence from parents about how much the Beacon Street Girls books helped their daughters Duke University actually started studying the effects.

The Duke researchers studied 81 girls enrolled in the university’s six-month childhood obesity program, called Healthy Lifestyles. Thirty-one girls were given a copy of “Lake Rescue”; 33 others got a 2006 Beacon Street book, “Charlotte in Paris (Beacon Street Girls) (Beacon Street Girls)
,” that carries a positive message of self-esteem but doesn’t focus on weight or healthful eating. And 17 girls received the regular program counseling, but no book.

After six months, the girls who got “Lake Rescue (Beacon Street Girls, No. 6)
” posted a decline in average body mass index scores of 0.71; those who didn’t read the book had an average increase of 0.05,
the article says.

One hypothesis is that while reading is sedentary it's better than snacking in front of the TV.

Whatever, my hypothesis is that the girls were INSPIRED by positive media about healthy bodies rather than subjected to negative media about girls bodies.

What's that they say, 99% Inspiration and 1% Perspiration.

This is worth checking out. Can't hurt. As the article says, the worst that can happen is your daughter read a good book.




Tuesday, October 14, 2008

10 Tips for $33 Birthday Party

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I don't know about your kid, but Ainsley loves the anticipation and the creative process of planning and preparing for her birthday party as much as the actual party. Both of my kids love to cook. I just channel my mother.

!. Print own birthday invitations and hand deliver them. Or, buy a package at Dollar Tree. Ainsley drew a rough draft and her Daddy made her an original design on the computer.

2. Parks are FREE. Picnic tables, swings, and slides. (clean your house in case it rains and you need a backup plan).

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3. Make your own cake. We went to Betty Crocker's website and watched "how to" videos for about 20 cakes. Zack wants the train or the dinosaur when he turns three. Ainsley loved the Princess Castle and the Princess cake. I wanted simple and fell in love with these great ice cream cone cakes. Cutting out forks and plates saved us $$$. It took us all evening on Friday to make them, but it had to have been as much fun as the party. This is where I spent my $33 for ice cream cones, candies hidden inside the cones, cream cheese frosting ingredients, 2 cake mixes, I splurged $8 on the reusable, easier to clean silicone cupcake cups.

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4. Punch recipe: 2 litter bottle of sprite and 1 large jug of fruit punch. Mix in pitcher over ice.

5. Use a table cloth you already own and use normal utensils. There really is no reason to buy special cups, plates or forks for birthdays.

6. Skip decorating. You brought cool cakes and you're at a park.

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7. Free entertainment. Now, we are super-lucky. My in-laws are professional missionary mimes & clowns. But, you might know a guitar player, a singer, someone who does puppets, or a sunday school teacher who tells a mean story with charades. Ask them to share their talent as the entertainment for your kid's party. They will be honored. If you don't know anyone bring glue, construction paper, paint, markers and scissors and let the kids make something.

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8. Yard Games - bring the horse shoe set, croquet, volleyball, soccer ball or football.

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9. Recheck your guest list. Invite only people you like and won't judge you. If there is someone who usually comes to your parties that often criticizes - just don't invite them.

10. Put a smile on your face and have a low-maintenence, easy-clean up, low-expense good time. A child's birthday party shouldn't need to be financed.

Oh, and there's still time to leave a comment to win a Juku Couture Doll.

Monday, October 13, 2008

GIRL HERO!

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Ainsley was my hero on Saturday night.

So, I'll tell you about our really cool $33 birthday party for Ainsley tomorrow.

Jeremy was out and I was having a snugglefest and popcorn night on the couch with the kids. Pure bliss. We had just watched a reptile show on PBS and Zack was drowsy in my arms and I was carrying him to bed.


Is that a belt? A black rope? A scarf? An electrical cord?

It's a SNAKE!


IN MY HOUSE!


I ran to the other side of my Thank God it's 30 feet long living room! And Ainsley ran over to join me on top of a green vinyl wagon wheel chair in the corner.

Let's get out of here, Ainsley said.

Okay. Wait. If we leave we won't know where it is. I have to watch it or there will be a lose snake in the house.

I'm scared Mommy.

Where's my phone? I don't know where my phone is.

What are we going to do?

Go across the street and get that guy to come and kill it.

I don't know him. It's dark. I'm scared to go knock on his door. What will I say? Can't I go to Victoria's and get her dad?

OK. Go to Victoria's. Ask him to come kill it. The hoe is in the garage, I can't go get it. Tell him to bring a hoe.

And in her nightgown, in the dead of night, Ainsley hopped on her bike and rode as fast as she could down the block.

There's a snake in our house! Get your dad to come kill it! she screamed over sobs.

As he hacked away at the black snake - which was fighting back and striking at his ankles - I fought back my own hysteria to calm my 7-year-old daughter down.

We're okay, Ainsley. I want you to look in my eyes and take a deep breath. In two- three. Out - two - three.

Finally, the head of the snake snapped and the body of it writhed separately. Yes, it lived briefly after it was decapitated. My neighbor was kind enough to take it with him.

Thank you so much kind neighbor for killing the snake in my house. Ainsley's been calling him our "savior."

All of us huddled fearfully in my bed.

I had to take 3 sleeping pills and had one of those dreams where you're screaming and no one can hear you. I jerked awake every time one of the kids touched me.

Ainsley's my hero. She thought out loud and problem solved and kept her cool while she went and got help. She was even able to sleep.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Juku Couture Doll Giveaway

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Ainsley, like many 7 year old girls, wants fashion dolls. I have boundaries set up around most fashion dolls saturating the toy section. I am not giving my kid a toy that is hyper-sexual (Bratz) or sends a distorted message about love (Disney Princesses), have distorted body proportions (Barbie), etc.

But, I'm a mom who wants to say "yes."

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Jakks Pacific is releasing a new fashion doll line - Juku Couture for the Christmas season. They sent me two for review.

I was a little concerned about the word Couture at first because I thought it meant unrealistically expensive designer fashion and I'm trying to NOT turn my kids into hyper-consumers.

But, Ainsley's dad looked it up and said Couture means, unique, one-of-a-kind fashion.

Ainsley is Couture and these dolls remind me of her (and myself). She will wear what she likes and you might not think it technically matches, but she loves the pieces separately and together.

The point of these dolls is to mismatch fashion and create unique looks (as opposed to wanting to look like everyone else.) The green skirt also makes a hat - how cool is that? Instead of attracting our girls by exploiting their sexuality with revealing clothing, the packaging encourages girls to layer more clothes for a more expressive look.

Each doll comes with an appropriately childlike biography. They all have proportionate teenage bodies - meaning they have average-sized breasts. They are multi-ethnic and come from all over the world. They are all going to their first year of high school and look like you expect a high school girl to look - not like a fashion model, but someone who has to wear her shoes all day long.

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Ainsley got Hayley and Jun.

Hayley is an athletic blond and a naturalist. She likes sports and volunteering. She's from Stockholm, Sweden and wants to be a vet. She likes pineapple and alternative music.

Kana is a romantic punk with blue, black and purple hair. She's an animal lover and an artist. She's a Latina from NYC. She wants to become a singer. She loves purple and likes to snack on cherries.

Audrina is a living encyclopedia and likes photography and decorating. She wants to be a movie director and likes pop music. She lives in LA.

Junis a girly girl, a world traveler and wants to be a biologist. She was born in Seoul, South Korea and is Asian-American. She likes blueberries and jazz.

Each doll is $24.95.

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The best part? Jakks Pacific is going to give away one Juku Couture Doll to an Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me reader.

To enter leave a comment. I will leave it open for one week, until Oct. 17. Then I will use random.org to choose a winner.

You must register on blogspot with a real email address to win. I'm sorry, but I've had difficulty locating anonymous winners in previous contests.

What's wrong with other fashion dolls?

Go Bratz Go!

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out!

Princess Ban

Pro-Ana Cheerleader Barbies



Thursday, October 9, 2008

Mothering Karma & Holy Inspiration

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Ainsley is 7 years old today.

I've been a mother for 7 years.

This, honestly, isn't how I thought it would go.

As a child, I thought I would say "yes" to everything when I became a mother. Until someone handed down a bikini for my 3-year-old and I threw it in the trash.

I'm a huge fan of pop culture - though you might not know it if this website is the only indication of who I am. But, I find myself surprisingly strict about the types of pop culture and media I expose my kids too.

The more I learn about media and marketing the more I block and filter.

Because my kids deserve protection.

When I grew up, in the 1970s and 1980s, childhood had the dignity of being sheltered and protected by government regulation to shield them from adult content. Parents can't depend on that anymore.

So, I find myself being much more conservative and rigid in my parenting than I wanted to have been. Than I expected to be. Than I ever intended.

From kid-side this motherhood thing looked easy. But, becoming a mother will shift your perceptions. If it doesn't, it's probably a sign that something isn't quite right.

I've been reading A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles" by Marrianne Williamson and she says the biggest miracle is to change our minds.

After 7 years of motherhood I can see that my biggest parenting growth has occurred when I have shifted my mind from a child's point of view to a parent's point of view. For a precocious, know-it-all, rebellious child like myself - this has meant admitting that my parents were right and I was {{{gasp}}} wrong more often then I would have preferred.

This is sometimes hard for my ego to take. I change my mind and shift my perceptions because I L-O-V-E my kids. I will not act out my childish rebellion against my parents if it's not in my children's best interests. Maturity has taught me that "acting out" isn't really making a conscious parenting decision, anyway.

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I said this the other day to my husband and I hope that my parents read it now:

"I regret every single awful thing I ever said or did to my mother. I regret anything that ever hurt her feelings, any kind of challenge I have given her over stupid stuff, all pointless arguing, all the lack of appreciation and every single judgement against the quality of mothering I received. The rest of the world would be so lucky to get the quality of mothering I was blessed with. Ditto to my dad, though it's much harder for me to express. My parents did the best they could with the information they had at the time and if they made mistakes they did so with the best of intentions. I forgive you everything. Please forgive me."

I lay awake at night reflecting on what a difficult and tumultuous adolescence I had, making deals with God, praying for a miracle that will make our mother-daughter relationship immune to Mothering Karma.

God, I'm begging you to protect Ainsley from being as short-sighted and foolish as I was. Tell me what to do and I will do it.

During one of these utterly raw and vulnerable moments I received these words from Timothy 3: 12-16: Let no man despise thy youth . . . neglect not the gift that is in thee. . . meditate upon these things: give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all. Take heed unto thyself; continue in them; for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself and them who hear thee.

Fellow parents of girls, my cherished audience: Don't confuse me with a "parenting expert." I am simply willing to make my parenting mistakes in public, so you too can "profit" from them. I feel inspired to do it. I made a deal with God.

Please, keep coming back.

Oh, Happy Birthday, my darling daughter.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Manadoob Books - 2 Free

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Cause I love to give stuff away - I'm doing a last-minute Bloggy Giveaway.

They sent me one of these Manadoob books to review. I rather liked them. They combine the real - humans and animals communicate intuitively and have a special intimate bond - and combine it with fantasy and fairy tale, a dash of magic and maybe even a little Dr. Suess and you've got Manadoob.

Join these ancient, mystical animals as they enter the lives of Wella, Zack and Pete and change the world as they know it. In this story of mystery and adventure, the Manadoob reveal how the secret connection between humans and animals can live forever.

Click on the website and bounce right back. Leave a comment and you're entered to win. I'll leave the contest open for the weekend and announce 2 winners on Tuesday Nov. - don't forget to vote before you check your email to see if you won.
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The books are for 8+ but, my 7-year-old is a great reader so she's getting The Manadoob Secret Connection Kit for Christmas.The kit comes with these great "Moobia Stones." (Which, no doubt, my kids will fight over.)

One of the magnificent things I love about this company is that they are donating 10% of their earnings to Best Friends Animal Society at www.bestfriends.org.

Leave a comment, win a book and stock up for Christmas.

More giveaways at the Bloggy Giveaways Quarterly Carnival!

Bloggy Giveaways Quarterly Carnival Button

Real Girls' Costumes

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Dalmatian made from thrift Store finds and a black marker and creativity.

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Miranda (10) is Cerberus, the three-headed dog that guards the gates of Hell in mythology. Ivy, (5) wanted to be a Murloc. That's a fish-like creature from the World of Warcraft game. Handmade by mom.

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A Fire Truck coming to put out her brother, the fire. (Very Clever)

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11-year old Joanna wearing her "Hungry Toilet" costume. (LOL!)

Leave a comment voting on your favorites.

I'll run the contest through the weekend allowing parents to email their Trick-or-Treating photos (traceesioux@yahoo.com). I'll give away the $150 Seagate FreeAgent GO Portable Hard Drive on Monday morning.

Empowering Girls Halloween Costume Extension

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Tonight is Halloween so I'm extending the Halloween Costume Contest through the weekend (Winner announced Monday morning) to give parents a chance to email me (traceesioux@yahoo.com) their girls' Trick-or-Treating costumes.

I'll publish the costumes I've received so far over the next few days so you can enjoy them. If there is one you think is particularly awesome leave a comment voting for that costume to win the $150 Seagate FreeAgent GO Portable Hard Drive.

Here's what I've learned so far. Parents, in general, are not dressing their daughters in a provocative way for Halloween.

Parents are angry, bewildered and shocked by the marketing.

Some people believe that girls and parents somehow created the demand for these products.

I disagree with that premise.

After reading the research in So Sexy So Soon I do not believe that marketers and advertisers responded to a demand for ever-sexier products for children.

I believe marketers intentionally created the demand.

Marketers perceived a "vulnerability" that they could exploit and profit from and CREATED the demand for provocative products. That vulnerability includes the fact that all humans are naturally drawn to sex - including children. Where before there was government regulation protecting children from sexually provocative marketing and content when we grew up - now there is not. Parent's haven't necessarily been educated or informed about their lack of protection resulting from deregulation of the media. Marketers are also exploiting a general lack of discussion and lack of comfortability between parent and child about issues of sex and sexuality.

Parents who buy these products are not trying to sexualize their children, they simply haven't regrouped from the same bewildered shock you feel and purchase the products out of naiveté and "busyness."

Parents who buy these costumes are wrong in blindly trusting companies - but that's their big crime - Trusting Companies.

Girls - little girls - are not hootchies, whores, Lolitas, sluts, street walkers or any other sexually derogatory word you might be tempted to apply to them tonight.

Girls are unsophisticated consumers because they are children and it takes practice, experience, education and persistence to become an educated consumer. They are subjected to an onslaught of exaggeratedly "feminine" and hyper-sexual marketing from dozens of sources. I've been writing this website for a while now and it wasn't until reading So Sexy So Soon that I fully understood all the pieces to the puzzle.

I knew something was up - but I couldn't articulate exactly what was causing it. Most parents - I estimate an overwhelming majority - know something is up, but they can't quite put their finger on what.

Girls' sexuality is being exploited with this type of hyper-sexual marketing and I INSIST that it is inappropriate to further exploit them by referring to them in sexually derogatory manner no matter what costume they wear on Halloween.
Read more about that in Empowering Girls: Hootchy Clothes.

Anger is appropriate. But, I believe it belongs squarely on the companies creating and marketing these products.

I urge you to look at real girls tonight and their overly-busy, naive and misinformed parents - however inappropriately dressed they might be tonight and consider them at worst - UNSOPHISTICATED CONSUMERS.

Also keep these 2 things in mind:

* Halloween is the one night when millions of parents allow their children to break normal rules. I, myself, will allow Ainsley to wear all the make-up she wants tonight. Just for fun. I will probably put some on Zack. I would also let my daughter wear shorter skirts than normal, high heeled shoes, brightly colored hair, etc. Last year, Ainsley declared herself a Princess at the last minute and I let her though I try to avoid the Disney Princess Culture as a rule (pictured - I was a Runner-up Dairy Queen.)

* Packaging for a costume might be more intentionally provocative than the actual costume. Just because the photograph in the marketing is overtly sexual doesn't mean that a 3 year old wearing that costume is in any way sexual at all.

Be safe tonight. Have fun with your children.

Be compassionate toward other families who just don't know what you know about the sexualization of girls. You can help educate and them by forwarding them this article or telling them about this website.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Meaningfully Frugal Christmas Tip #2

You will have many choices this Christmas.

Some of them suck.

They come with bells and whistles and have fancy price tags. Many come down to a choice between lazy and expense or economy and real value.

Let's practice:

Choice 1
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The Fisher-Price Smart Cycle, $74.48.

For the really paranoid parent who deems the actual joy of bike riding as "too dangerous." This parent watches too much news and thinks the boogie man or a life-threatening boo boo is around every corner.

Come on folks - did exercise become a burdensome chore when you were on your bike as a 7 year old feeling the wind in your hair wondering just how fast you could go? Or when you started forcing yourself to exercise indoors - going no where? Just think - you won't even have to take the training wheels off. It's like that old saying,

It's like learning to ride a bike - wait, kids don't do that anymore.

There's a childhood obesity epidemic so exercise is a big deal - or haven't you heard? You think more television and video games is the solution?

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I chose real bikes. It comes with all sorts of experiences and joys your child will remember forever.

Ainsley got a new bike for her recent birthday because she had outgrown her old one.

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Zack is getting this used bike we got at a garage sale for $5.

Because he's 2 years old and he's not addicted to new packaging. He just wants a bike like his big sister. Five dollars people.

I'm asking Santa for a $15 padded bike seat. Because my $7 garage sale bike is awesome - except evidently adults get "bike ass." Bike riding is fantastic family time and you know what - it is Fun Exercise.

Choice 2

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LeapFrog® Tag Reading System, $49.99.

A pen that actually reads FOR your kid.

You know cause actually learning to read has been deemed technologically obsolete.

It will also alleviate any obligation you have of sitting down and teaching your child to read - or more importantly sitting down and teaching them the value of reading as a way to learn, entertain one's self, explore the world, relax,

do well in school or perform in a job.

It's no biggy - just buy this pen. It will do all the work for you.

Myself? I'm going to get my kids some well-cared for used books. Do you know how many used books I can get for $50? Heck at some garage sales and thrift stores they go for 50 cents a piece. I'll get them 5-10 to share for a mere $5 and they will be so happy and grateful!

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Ainsley was the first kid in her class to become a Read-a-Saurus this week. She was proud. I was proud. But, best of all she loves reading. Cause it's freaking fun that's why and books are our prized possessions not expensive pens that read FOR us.

More on bikes:

B-R-A-V-E

Girl Hero

Empowering Girls: Bike Riding

More on Meaningfully Frugal Christmas Gifts

Steal This Christmas Gift Please!

Pro-Girl Book, The Perfect You

Meaningfully Frugal Christmas Tip # 1

Hey Wait - don't leave without hitting the RSS Feed cause you don't want to miss the great ways to have meaningful holiday without touching a credit card.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Great Father/Husband

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This is Zack, Ainsley's 2 year old brother.

Playing house and taking care of baby dolls serves the same purpose in boys as it does in girls. It teaches nurturing, compassion and parenting skills.

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Out there - maybe in your house - there is a girl whom Zack will marry.

For that empowered girl, I teach Zack nurturing and compassion, empathy, dishes, cooking and laundry. Yes, already.

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I like to think that somewhere out there is a mother who is also teaching her son how to do housework, cook and take care of children, so he'll make a good boyfriend, a great husband for my daughter and a fantastic father for her children.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Empowering Girls Halloween Costume Contest

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If you're new here allow me to introduce myself. I'm Tracee Sioux and this is a website about girls. We are growing powerful girls here.

We challenge hyper-sexual marketing and advertising and confront mean girl behavior and find tools to instill great self esteem and body image.

Have you seen the stories about the Pornification of Halloween with alarming photos of girls who look more like porn fantasies than girls playing dress up?

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I wrote one of them last year.

That was before I read So Sexy So Soon by Diane E. Levin, Ph.D. and Jean Kilbourne Ed.D. which clearly explained that girls haven't become hyper-sexualized at all. Marketers and Advertisers have become hyper-sexualized in an attempt to exploit children's inherent innocent sexuality for profit.

This year when I went to Amazon Associates to look at their Halloween Widgets I saw the hyper-sexual photos of girls' costumes and instead of being angry that girls have become too sexualized . . .

This year, I thought this has nothing to do with our GIRLS.

This is MARKETING.

The girls did not become sexier - the marketing started encouraging girls to buy sexier products. There is a huge difference.

Girls had nothing to do with this.

Parents had nothing to do with this.

* My daughter didn't make the costume. The Costume company did.

* Your daughter didn't dress another little girl in the costume and put her photo on Amazon for everyone to freak out over. The Marketer did.

* Parents didn't pose the girl model provocatively for the photograph on the packaging that resembles child pornography.The photographer did.

* I, as a mother, am not marketing provocative costumes for my child to wear. I'm not even buying those costumes and if I could convince other parents to wake up to bad marketing intentions other parents wouldn't buy it either.

All the hype is marketing.

This type of marketing is incredibly disrespectful to all girls. It's incredibly disrespectful to parents.

It's intentionally closer and closer to pornography because of the fundamental marketing premise "sex sells." Even innocent children are attracted to sexual imagery. That doesn't make them less innocent, it makes them human.

Girls and their parents should be so angry that marketers would stoop to this level that we should STARVE them out. Do. Not. Buy. These. Costumes!

This is exploitation of girls in marketing for profit.

What are girls REALLY wearing on Halloween?

Are they all in touch with their "inner Lolita" as this marketing, and the inflammatory news reporting about the marketing, suggests?

I don't know. I suspect not. Let's find out.

Email me (traceesioux@yahoo.com) a photo of your daughter's Halloween Costume by Nov. 2 and you are entered to win.

I'll publish them on Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me and we'll just see -

- Have our daughters really become hyper-sexual or are we allowing marketers to project that identity on them and sully their reputations?

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Seagate has offered to give one Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me reader a FreeAgent GO sleek portable hard drives worth $150.

I'll choose the best costume and that person will win the prize.

Oh and make sure you subscribe to Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me because we're going to focus on how to create a meaningful and joyful holiday season without touching a credit card or giving our hard-earned money to companies who disrespect girls.

More giveaways at the Bloggy Giveaways Quarterly Carnival!

Bloggy Giveaways Quarterly Carnival Button

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Vote With Your Daughter


Thanks to Claire Mysko, author of You're Amazing: A No-Pressure Guide to Being Your Best Self, for pointing out the Take Our Daughters to the Polls initiative from The White House Project.

My husband and I took out daughter out of school one day last week and went to the court house to cast our votes. I'm an election judge this year so we voted early. (Early voting will also reduce complaining about the line.)

They will allow your child in the voting booth with you and you can show them how you go about choosing your candidates.

Ainsley and I have been going to vote together since she was two and we arrived at the government building and she said, "Where's the boats? You said we were going boating."

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She'll remember this year specifically because this year, we got to vote for Hillary Clinton. I also voted for her BFF's mom, who was running for county attorney on my ballot (even though she wasn't on my party's ticket).

No matter who you're voting for - take your daughter to the polls and show her one of the more effective ways for women to be powerful.

Democracy is what we make it through our participation. Teach her to participate.

I'm an election judge today - getting my Patriotic High - read more about it on Blog Fabulous.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Christmas Tip #1

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I'm thrilled to give a Juku Couture Doll by Jaks to Whirlwind.

Here's the thing - Christmas is coming.

The Christmas toys are already out on the shelves, the Christmas decor displays are already out. This is causing people premature Holiday panic. Don't stock up on sleeping pills and Xanex just yet.

I'm committed to not putting a single gift on a credit card.

{{{gasp?}}}

No, silly. I haven't put any Christmas gifts on a credit card for years - literally. My children never go "without."

I've got skills. This year I'm committed to sharing them with you.

I'd like to help you figure out how to provide The Best Christmas EVER for your kids - infused with meaning, fun and joy - without going over budget.

We Thinking Parents can also do it Without feeding anti-girl advertising. The only way to make anti-girl marketers stop their hyper-sexual advertising is to STARVE them.

Tip #1?

Start now. I already have several toys stashed away for both of my kids.

Enter the Bloggy Giveaways next week to stock up on gifts for everyone you love.

Look - if you think you can't make it through a holiday without whipping out your credit card or saving up $500. . .

Thank Goodness! You're wrong!

Subscribe to my RSS feed and I'll share my thrifty economic tips and we'll have a very Merry Christmas that doesn't only empower your girls - it will empower YOU!

Oh and for Kwanzaa and Hanukkah or Festivus - the same principles of economy and joy apply.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Girl Effect


Thanks to Violet for sending this to me.

This is also the reason I love mentoring.

One woman changes the life of one girl and she, in turn, changes the world.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Smarty Kids & Thinking Parents

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I just read my "marketing bio." If you're reading this Empowering Girls website then I'm guessing this is also your "marketing bio." We're the new purchasing demographic called "Thinking Parents" and we're raising the marketing target called "Smarty Kids."

Our vulnerable spot where we'll "spend heavily?" To keep our kids "safe and happy" and there are 32 million of us.

Straight from a press release:

Smarty Kids: there is a growing population of kids today that we call Smarty Kids:

* these kids are tech-savvy and appreciate substance to their media encounters.

* Smarty Kids benefit from their parents’ dual income and digital awareness.

* they enjoy learning from experience and are physically and socially active.

Thinking Parents: those moms and dads entering the crucial elementary to tween years when peers begin competing for influence.

• 32 Million moms are online

• Parental Supervision on the computer is high

• They spend heavily on their tween to keep them safe and happy

What’s on the mind of a Smarty Kid:

• Having the coolest gadgets and games

• The pressure of fitting in with their peers

• Mild environmental and ethical issues

• Being entertained and engaged

Smarty Kids on technology and media:

• Have available access to technology and media platforms, with some having personal technology in their bedrooms.

• Access a computer both at home and at school and spend more time online than any other childhood group.

• Interact with more forms of media than their peers, from paper and ink to television to online to mobile.

Our average income is between $56 and $76, we're likely college graduates, live in cul-de-sacs and we're upward bound. We're likely between 35 - 44.

I often hear this from frustrated parents: "It won't matter if I write the company or if I refuse to buy the product. I'm just one parent."

Except that you're not. You're 1 of 32 million Thinking Parents with 2.5 Smarty Kids, who is taking the time to let the company know what products you want to spend your money on.

Want that toy kitchen in a neutral green (as opposed to the pink) so your toddler boy can learn to be a good husband and father and oh, I don't know - feed himself without growing up thinking an ability to cook to feed one's own self makes one gay? Write the company and tell them, "I'm a Thinking Parent and I would buy this for my two male Smarty Kids if it were in green or yellow."

This press release signals a changing tide in the children's toy and media market. This Christmas, with it's more stressful economy, will also work in the Thinking Parents' favor. Rather than wantonly spending money on every whim our children have, we'll be more choosy about the message, about the quality, about the meaning and the profit margin. The toy & media companies are poised to work harder.

They know we're out here making conscious decisions and they are willing to meet our values to get our money.

What questions will you be asking of the companies you spend your Christmas budget with?

Photo Source: This Smarty Kid is named Sarah and she lives and breathes soccer. Her mom Ellen Gerstein is a Thinking Parent over at "Confessions of an It Girl.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Target Women: Disney Princesses



I love Sarah Haskins. I also love the readers who forwarded this link to me. Thanks.

Friday, October 17, 2008

HangPROUD

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I just discovered HangPROUD.com, (being me. living free.) a female empowering website last week. Founded by Diane Prefontaine and Carla Alpert, this site encourages women and girls to stop the negative chatter and be a force for positive change.

In the corner is the phrase "snap out of it," It makes me chuckle.

They define HangPROUD: To stand united and embrace our unique beauty and individual strengths to make powerful changes in our lives, communities and the world.

My absolute favorite part of this website is the eMentoring feature. Grown women can sign up to be mentors. Girls can sign up to get a mentor. The owners of the site will pair like-minded girls and women together. The relationships happen via email, Facebook, Skype, etc.

Why didn't I think of that?

HangPROUD is about redirecting wasteful negative conversations about ourselves so that we can use this time to make powerful changes in our lives, communities and the world! it says on the Pay It Forward feature. There you'll find real ways to make a difference in the world right now.

They even had a HangPROUD scholarship fund. They donate 10% of the proceeds from their eshop, which will to partial scholarships they hope to be able to award in 2009. The above t-shirt is just a sampling of some very cool stuff you could buy to support the cause.

The site even includes instructions for how to host your own HangProud Self Esteem party for girls 10-14.

There are also workshop guides for middle schools and they will even host parties and workshops for women over 25.

Oh, and they have a lovely story on me in the Day in the Life feature.

The world can not have too many forces of positive change for women and girls.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Professional Future of Girls

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If you're like me you give some thought to giving your kids career advice. We're big on academics and when Ainsley says, What should I do when I grow up? We are clear, You must do something that makes money. You choose what it is, find your purpose, but you must be able to take care of yourself.

As a writer I have found it difficult to make my way in this profession. Not because I've had difficulty finding work. But, because I've had difficulty being PAID good money for the work I do. This is going to change for me any minute. I know it. I'm currently accepting offers to be paid good money for what I'm doing here. Feel free to email me at traceesioux@yahoo.com to send offers.

I've flirted with the idea of pushing my children towards medicine and scientific professions. All you have to do is look in the want ads or interview your friends about how much money they make to realize that:

1. Life is easier if you have money.

2. Science, technology, medical left brain thinking pays more money and those jobs are always available.

I write because I love it and I'm meant to do it, but I've many times wished I had just gone and been a physical therapist like my friends Christy and Cindy. It just would have been easier, more stable and secure.

Then I listened to this guy Daniel Pink on Oprah's Soul Series talk about how creative people - people like myself, writers, artists, designers, spiritual leaders, talkers - right brain thinkers are inheriting the earth and its economics in the very near future. In fact, he believes it is already happening and we should prepare our children for creative professions. Because those will be the secure and stable ones.

Daniel Pink wrote A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future
and he says that left brain activities, like accounting, mathematics, computer and science careers, are the ones that will be outsourced or we'll make software and machines to do that work during our children's careers.

The more secure bet? Right Brain Careers that involve creativity, innovation, individuality, design, empathy, and meaning, story telling, big picture thinking.

Is it a coincidence that these attributes and skills have also been traditionally feminine skills which we have always rewarded in girls, but which have also traditionally made far less money and carried less social value?

Watch it for free on Oprah's Soul Series - he's got facts to back it up and it's a convincing argument.

It might change the way you talk to your kids about their future professions. It might change how you react when your 17-year-old announces she is going to art school.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Beacon Street Girls

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A new series of books for 9 to 13 year old girls may actually promote good health, says an article by Tara Parker-Pope titled Healthful Messages, Wrapped in Fiction.

This could be this generation's Judy Blume. Seriously, is there a woman out there that doesn't feel eternally grateful for Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret

We must, we must, we must increase our bust!" {{{flashback}}}

Following anecdotal evidence from parents about how much the Beacon Street Girls books helped their daughters Duke University actually started studying the effects.

The Duke researchers studied 81 girls enrolled in the university’s six-month childhood obesity program, called Healthy Lifestyles. Thirty-one girls were given a copy of “Lake Rescue”; 33 others got a 2006 Beacon Street book, “Charlotte in Paris (Beacon Street Girls) (Beacon Street Girls)
,” that carries a positive message of self-esteem but doesn’t focus on weight or healthful eating. And 17 girls received the regular program counseling, but no book.

After six months, the girls who got “Lake Rescue (Beacon Street Girls, No. 6)
” posted a decline in average body mass index scores of 0.71; those who didn’t read the book had an average increase of 0.05,
the article says.

One hypothesis is that while reading is sedentary it's better than snacking in front of the TV.

Whatever, my hypothesis is that the girls were INSPIRED by positive media about healthy bodies rather than subjected to negative media about girls bodies.

What's that they say, 99% Inspiration and 1% Perspiration.

This is worth checking out. Can't hurt. As the article says, the worst that can happen is your daughter read a good book.




Tuesday, October 14, 2008

10 Tips for $33 Birthday Party

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I don't know about your kid, but Ainsley loves the anticipation and the creative process of planning and preparing for her birthday party as much as the actual party. Both of my kids love to cook. I just channel my mother.

!. Print own birthday invitations and hand deliver them. Or, buy a package at Dollar Tree. Ainsley drew a rough draft and her Daddy made her an original design on the computer.

2. Parks are FREE. Picnic tables, swings, and slides. (clean your house in case it rains and you need a backup plan).

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3. Make your own cake. We went to Betty Crocker's website and watched "how to" videos for about 20 cakes. Zack wants the train or the dinosaur when he turns three. Ainsley loved the Princess Castle and the Princess cake. I wanted simple and fell in love with these great ice cream cone cakes. Cutting out forks and plates saved us $$$. It took us all evening on Friday to make them, but it had to have been as much fun as the party. This is where I spent my $33 for ice cream cones, candies hidden inside the cones, cream cheese frosting ingredients, 2 cake mixes, I splurged $8 on the reusable, easier to clean silicone cupcake cups.

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4. Punch recipe: 2 litter bottle of sprite and 1 large jug of fruit punch. Mix in pitcher over ice.

5. Use a table cloth you already own and use normal utensils. There really is no reason to buy special cups, plates or forks for birthdays.

6. Skip decorating. You brought cool cakes and you're at a park.

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7. Free entertainment. Now, we are super-lucky. My in-laws are professional missionary mimes & clowns. But, you might know a guitar player, a singer, someone who does puppets, or a sunday school teacher who tells a mean story with charades. Ask them to share their talent as the entertainment for your kid's party. They will be honored. If you don't know anyone bring glue, construction paper, paint, markers and scissors and let the kids make something.

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8. Yard Games - bring the horse shoe set, croquet, volleyball, soccer ball or football.

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9. Recheck your guest list. Invite only people you like and won't judge you. If there is someone who usually comes to your parties that often criticizes - just don't invite them.

10. Put a smile on your face and have a low-maintenence, easy-clean up, low-expense good time. A child's birthday party shouldn't need to be financed.

Oh, and there's still time to leave a comment to win a Juku Couture Doll.

Monday, October 13, 2008

GIRL HERO!

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Ainsley was my hero on Saturday night.

So, I'll tell you about our really cool $33 birthday party for Ainsley tomorrow.

Jeremy was out and I was having a snugglefest and popcorn night on the couch with the kids. Pure bliss. We had just watched a reptile show on PBS and Zack was drowsy in my arms and I was carrying him to bed.


Is that a belt? A black rope? A scarf? An electrical cord?

It's a SNAKE!


IN MY HOUSE!


I ran to the other side of my Thank God it's 30 feet long living room! And Ainsley ran over to join me on top of a green vinyl wagon wheel chair in the corner.

Let's get out of here, Ainsley said.

Okay. Wait. If we leave we won't know where it is. I have to watch it or there will be a lose snake in the house.

I'm scared Mommy.

Where's my phone? I don't know where my phone is.

What are we going to do?

Go across the street and get that guy to come and kill it.

I don't know him. It's dark. I'm scared to go knock on his door. What will I say? Can't I go to Victoria's and get her dad?

OK. Go to Victoria's. Ask him to come kill it. The hoe is in the garage, I can't go get it. Tell him to bring a hoe.

And in her nightgown, in the dead of night, Ainsley hopped on her bike and rode as fast as she could down the block.

There's a snake in our house! Get your dad to come kill it! she screamed over sobs.

As he hacked away at the black snake - which was fighting back and striking at his ankles - I fought back my own hysteria to calm my 7-year-old daughter down.

We're okay, Ainsley. I want you to look in my eyes and take a deep breath. In two- three. Out - two - three.

Finally, the head of the snake snapped and the body of it writhed separately. Yes, it lived briefly after it was decapitated. My neighbor was kind enough to take it with him.

Thank you so much kind neighbor for killing the snake in my house. Ainsley's been calling him our "savior."

All of us huddled fearfully in my bed.

I had to take 3 sleeping pills and had one of those dreams where you're screaming and no one can hear you. I jerked awake every time one of the kids touched me.

Ainsley's my hero. She thought out loud and problem solved and kept her cool while she went and got help. She was even able to sleep.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Juku Couture Doll Giveaway

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Ainsley, like many 7 year old girls, wants fashion dolls. I have boundaries set up around most fashion dolls saturating the toy section. I am not giving my kid a toy that is hyper-sexual (Bratz) or sends a distorted message about love (Disney Princesses), have distorted body proportions (Barbie), etc.

But, I'm a mom who wants to say "yes."

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Jakks Pacific is releasing a new fashion doll line - Juku Couture for the Christmas season. They sent me two for review.

I was a little concerned about the word Couture at first because I thought it meant unrealistically expensive designer fashion and I'm trying to NOT turn my kids into hyper-consumers.

But, Ainsley's dad looked it up and said Couture means, unique, one-of-a-kind fashion.

Ainsley is Couture and these dolls remind me of her (and myself). She will wear what she likes and you might not think it technically matches, but she loves the pieces separately and together.

The point of these dolls is to mismatch fashion and create unique looks (as opposed to wanting to look like everyone else.) The green skirt also makes a hat - how cool is that? Instead of attracting our girls by exploiting their sexuality with revealing clothing, the packaging encourages girls to layer more clothes for a more expressive look.

Each doll comes with an appropriately childlike biography. They all have proportionate teenage bodies - meaning they have average-sized breasts. They are multi-ethnic and come from all over the world. They are all going to their first year of high school and look like you expect a high school girl to look - not like a fashion model, but someone who has to wear her shoes all day long.

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Ainsley got Hayley and Jun.

Hayley is an athletic blond and a naturalist. She likes sports and volunteering. She's from Stockholm, Sweden and wants to be a vet. She likes pineapple and alternative music.

Kana is a romantic punk with blue, black and purple hair. She's an animal lover and an artist. She's a Latina from NYC. She wants to become a singer. She loves purple and likes to snack on cherries.

Audrina is a living encyclopedia and likes photography and decorating. She wants to be a movie director and likes pop music. She lives in LA.

Junis a girly girl, a world traveler and wants to be a biologist. She was born in Seoul, South Korea and is Asian-American. She likes blueberries and jazz.

Each doll is $24.95.

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The best part? Jakks Pacific is going to give away one Juku Couture Doll to an Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me reader.

To enter leave a comment. I will leave it open for one week, until Oct. 17. Then I will use random.org to choose a winner.

You must register on blogspot with a real email address to win. I'm sorry, but I've had difficulty locating anonymous winners in previous contests.

What's wrong with other fashion dolls?

Go Bratz Go!

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out!

Princess Ban

Pro-Ana Cheerleader Barbies



Thursday, October 9, 2008

Mothering Karma & Holy Inspiration

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Ainsley is 7 years old today.

I've been a mother for 7 years.

This, honestly, isn't how I thought it would go.

As a child, I thought I would say "yes" to everything when I became a mother. Until someone handed down a bikini for my 3-year-old and I threw it in the trash.

I'm a huge fan of pop culture - though you might not know it if this website is the only indication of who I am. But, I find myself surprisingly strict about the types of pop culture and media I expose my kids too.

The more I learn about media and marketing the more I block and filter.

Because my kids deserve protection.

When I grew up, in the 1970s and 1980s, childhood had the dignity of being sheltered and protected by government regulation to shield them from adult content. Parents can't depend on that anymore.

So, I find myself being much more conservative and rigid in my parenting than I wanted to have been. Than I expected to be. Than I ever intended.

From kid-side this motherhood thing looked easy. But, becoming a mother will shift your perceptions. If it doesn't, it's probably a sign that something isn't quite right.

I've been reading A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles" by Marrianne Williamson and she says the biggest miracle is to change our minds.

After 7 years of motherhood I can see that my biggest parenting growth has occurred when I have shifted my mind from a child's point of view to a parent's point of view. For a precocious, know-it-all, rebellious child like myself - this has meant admitting that my parents were right and I was {{{gasp}}} wrong more often then I would have preferred.

This is sometimes hard for my ego to take. I change my mind and shift my perceptions because I L-O-V-E my kids. I will not act out my childish rebellion against my parents if it's not in my children's best interests. Maturity has taught me that "acting out" isn't really making a conscious parenting decision, anyway.

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I said this the other day to my husband and I hope that my parents read it now:

"I regret every single awful thing I ever said or did to my mother. I regret anything that ever hurt her feelings, any kind of challenge I have given her over stupid stuff, all pointless arguing, all the lack of appreciation and every single judgement against the quality of mothering I received. The rest of the world would be so lucky to get the quality of mothering I was blessed with. Ditto to my dad, though it's much harder for me to express. My parents did the best they could with the information they had at the time and if they made mistakes they did so with the best of intentions. I forgive you everything. Please forgive me."

I lay awake at night reflecting on what a difficult and tumultuous adolescence I had, making deals with God, praying for a miracle that will make our mother-daughter relationship immune to Mothering Karma.

God, I'm begging you to protect Ainsley from being as short-sighted and foolish as I was. Tell me what to do and I will do it.

During one of these utterly raw and vulnerable moments I received these words from Timothy 3: 12-16: Let no man despise thy youth . . . neglect not the gift that is in thee. . . meditate upon these things: give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all. Take heed unto thyself; continue in them; for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself and them who hear thee.

Fellow parents of girls, my cherished audience: Don't confuse me with a "parenting expert." I am simply willing to make my parenting mistakes in public, so you too can "profit" from them. I feel inspired to do it. I made a deal with God.

Please, keep coming back.

Oh, Happy Birthday, my darling daughter.