I'm currently reading this book for review, I'll let you know what I think about its' strategies for parents when I finish.
Showing posts with label sexuality in children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexuality in children. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
Empowering Girls: Hootchy Clothes
If you are using words like hootchy, skank, slut, whore or any other sexually derogatory word to describe the clothing (whether inappropriate or not) of any girl you are an active participant in further sexualizing girls.
If you are teaching your daughter (or sons) to use sexually derogatory words to describe other girls' clothing you are actively coaching her in mean girl behavior.
If you call a young girl's outfit "skanky," you've just taught your daughter that it's okay to call another girl a "skank" if she doesn't like her clothes. If you describe an outfit as "hootchy mama," you've just taught your daughter that if she makes the slightest clothing error, it's okay for others to call her a "hootchy mama."
You're basically making a judgement about whether a girl is sexually active or promiscuous by her clothing.
I'm hearing people say such things about 3-5 year olds. Think about it - are those words you really want to apply to children?
Children should be immune to our sexuality. When you apply sexually derogatory words to children, you sexualize them. You open them up to a sexual context that others can use against them.
If there is any group of people on the planet earth who should be entitled to wear less clothing it is children. Children should be immune to the sexual implications of all skin exposure.
There are some inappropriate clothing choices available to girls. We can tell our daughters why they shouldn't wear such things without being sexually derogatory about their friends, classmates, neighbors, family or their own secret selves that also wish to wear that clothing.
"I don't think that's appropriate," is generally sufficient explanation for why your daughter isn't allowed to wear something.
Regardless of what a girl is wearing she is deserving of respect.
It is impossible to demand more respect for girls by being disrespectful to girls.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Third Base Ain't What It Used To Be
by Tracee Sioux
I just read Third Base Ain't What It Used to Be: What Your Kids Are Learning About Sex Today- and How to Teach Them toBecome Sexually Healthy Adults
This book covered every single aspect of sexuality that might come up with your kids.
I was shocked virtually the whole time I was reading it. Not so much by the content, as by witnessing my own emotional responses to the content in connection with my daughter. Truthfully, reading it was not a pleasant one for me. It brought up issues.
That said I thought it was a very wise. Levkoff points out that if we, as parents, aren't talking about sex with our kids we'll be the only influence in their lives not putting in our two cents.
Which is extremely dangerous for our kids as all the other influences are promoting a very unhealthy sexuality.
Sex is everywhere. But, not really the good kind. It doesn't take a genius to realize that our kids are exposed to blatant, inappropriate sexuality with negative messages and connotations multiple times a day - and that's just during the commercials.
If there is any hope for daughters at all parents should be talking as openly and honestly as possible.
This, I believe with all my heart, in a cerebral kind of way.
In reality when my daughter asks me a question concerning sex I feel as though my conservative parents have temporarily inhabited my body to the point that I hear my own mother's voice come out of my mouth, "where did you hear that?" with a hysterical accusatory urgency.
Okay, I don't actually say that, but it is my first irrational instinct.
The truth is that I don't feel my own sexuality is a healthy one. It's more of a reaction to the oppressive anti-sexuality of conservative religion mingled with rebellion, an intellectual political response, a teaspoon of good old fashioned Christian guilt, a lifetime of hormonal biology, more than a few mistakes and regrets, influenced by hyper-sexual contemporary culture that becomes increasingly offensive to me, with some violent and abusive sexual trauma thrown in, mingled with a good dose of busy maternal exhaustion. The combination of which doesn't leave me feeling very equipped to pass on a healthy sexuality to my children.
That said, reading Third Base Ain't What It Used to Be: What Your Kids Are Learning About Sex Today- and How to Teach Them toBecome Sexually Healthy Adults
I want my kids to come to me. I want them to trust me. I want them to believe me to be more of an expert than the other kids on the bus. I want them to look to me for sound advice.
Except that I don't ever want to talk about it again. In fact, I don't want them to ever know some of the sexual stuff they'll be exposed to even exists. See that? It's gonna take a healthy dose of courage to have conversations with my kids about sex and sexuality, after reading the book I feel better armed with adequate information.
Sexy
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Showing posts with label sexuality in children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexuality in children. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
So Sexy So Soon
I'm currently reading this book for review, I'll let you know what I think about its' strategies for parents when I finish.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Empowering Girls: Hootchy Clothes
If you are using words like hootchy, skank, slut, whore or any other sexually derogatory word to describe the clothing (whether inappropriate or not) of any girl you are an active participant in further sexualizing girls.
If you are teaching your daughter (or sons) to use sexually derogatory words to describe other girls' clothing you are actively coaching her in mean girl behavior.
If you call a young girl's outfit "skanky," you've just taught your daughter that it's okay to call another girl a "skank" if she doesn't like her clothes. If you describe an outfit as "hootchy mama," you've just taught your daughter that if she makes the slightest clothing error, it's okay for others to call her a "hootchy mama."
You're basically making a judgement about whether a girl is sexually active or promiscuous by her clothing.
I'm hearing people say such things about 3-5 year olds. Think about it - are those words you really want to apply to children?
Children should be immune to our sexuality. When you apply sexually derogatory words to children, you sexualize them. You open them up to a sexual context that others can use against them.
If there is any group of people on the planet earth who should be entitled to wear less clothing it is children. Children should be immune to the sexual implications of all skin exposure.
There are some inappropriate clothing choices available to girls. We can tell our daughters why they shouldn't wear such things without being sexually derogatory about their friends, classmates, neighbors, family or their own secret selves that also wish to wear that clothing.
"I don't think that's appropriate," is generally sufficient explanation for why your daughter isn't allowed to wear something.
Regardless of what a girl is wearing she is deserving of respect.
It is impossible to demand more respect for girls by being disrespectful to girls.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Third Base Ain't What It Used To Be
by Tracee Sioux
I just read Third Base Ain't What It Used to Be: What Your Kids Are Learning About Sex Today- and How to Teach Them toBecome Sexually Healthy Adults
This book covered every single aspect of sexuality that might come up with your kids.
I was shocked virtually the whole time I was reading it. Not so much by the content, as by witnessing my own emotional responses to the content in connection with my daughter. Truthfully, reading it was not a pleasant one for me. It brought up issues.
That said I thought it was a very wise. Levkoff points out that if we, as parents, aren't talking about sex with our kids we'll be the only influence in their lives not putting in our two cents.
Which is extremely dangerous for our kids as all the other influences are promoting a very unhealthy sexuality.
Sex is everywhere. But, not really the good kind. It doesn't take a genius to realize that our kids are exposed to blatant, inappropriate sexuality with negative messages and connotations multiple times a day - and that's just during the commercials.
If there is any hope for daughters at all parents should be talking as openly and honestly as possible.
This, I believe with all my heart, in a cerebral kind of way.
In reality when my daughter asks me a question concerning sex I feel as though my conservative parents have temporarily inhabited my body to the point that I hear my own mother's voice come out of my mouth, "where did you hear that?" with a hysterical accusatory urgency.
Okay, I don't actually say that, but it is my first irrational instinct.
The truth is that I don't feel my own sexuality is a healthy one. It's more of a reaction to the oppressive anti-sexuality of conservative religion mingled with rebellion, an intellectual political response, a teaspoon of good old fashioned Christian guilt, a lifetime of hormonal biology, more than a few mistakes and regrets, influenced by hyper-sexual contemporary culture that becomes increasingly offensive to me, with some violent and abusive sexual trauma thrown in, mingled with a good dose of busy maternal exhaustion. The combination of which doesn't leave me feeling very equipped to pass on a healthy sexuality to my children.
That said, reading Third Base Ain't What It Used to Be: What Your Kids Are Learning About Sex Today- and How to Teach Them toBecome Sexually Healthy Adults
I want my kids to come to me. I want them to trust me. I want them to believe me to be more of an expert than the other kids on the bus. I want them to look to me for sound advice.
Except that I don't ever want to talk about it again. In fact, I don't want them to ever know some of the sexual stuff they'll be exposed to even exists. See that? It's gonna take a healthy dose of courage to have conversations with my kids about sex and sexuality, after reading the book I feel better armed with adequate information.
Sexy
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