by Tracee Sioux

I was thin as a young woman. Just the other day my sister-in-law said to me, I saw some pictures of you and you were so thin.

A friend of mine who knew me about 7 years ago also recently said, You were so tiny back then.

I was always "the thin one" between my best friend, Violet, and I.

The thing is - I was a size 8.

A size 8 was considered perfectly thin.

Violet, plagued with a weight problem, would mutter things like, If only I were a size 5 my life would be perfect.

I would always answer back, Don't be ridiculous. No one is a size 5. There's no way I could be a size 5 - I have bones. (This was before you could find a doctor who would remove a few ribs.)

I'm in a size 8 again today, but no one is calling me thin. Today, an 8 is considered fat, or at least something to work on. While a size Zero is considered to be thin.

My friend Violet just the other day said, I wish I were a size 5

To which a size 5 12-year-old girl answered, I wish I were a size 2.

Does anyone remember those old diet commercials - maybe for Super K or Slim Fast in the 1980s - where the tagline was, Look at her. She's a perfect size 9!

I've been contemplating the significance of this size Zero, pro-ana phenomenon.

Do you remember the old feminist theory that women crossed their legs in the feminine way to take up less space because they felt unworthy of it? They also held their arms close to them and made very small hand gestures and sat with ankles crossed. That men crossed their legs in thier big way and felt free to move their arms about and even stretch them all the way across the couch. Men feel entitled to take up space.

What if girls today feel they don't even have a right to exist, let alone take up more space?

Who takes up less space on the planet, or in a room, or on a couch, than a size Zero girl?

Are pro-ana girls actually trying to disappear?

Perhaps the first step to preventing poor body image and extreme thinness and misperception of our bodies is to teach daughters they have a right to exist.

Ainsley, dear, you have as much right as anyone to take up space. You're entitled to exist. I'm thrilled that you live your life with a loud, bold presence. You are worthy of nutrition and nourishment for your strong, beautiful, healthy body.

(P.S. I'm claiming my thin status back. Those girls aren't going to steal my womanly thunder. I'm thin with curves. Curves are better than bones any day.)

by Tracee Sioux

I just read Third Base Ain't What It Used to Be: What Your Kids Are Learning About Sex Today- and How to Teach Them toBecome Sexually Healthy Adults by Logan Levkoff, sexologist and sexuality educator.

This book covered every single aspect of sexuality that might come up with your kids.

I was shocked virtually the whole time I was reading it. Not so much by the content, as by witnessing my own emotional responses to the content in connection with my daughter. Truthfully, reading it was not a pleasant one for me. It brought up issues.

That said I thought it was a very wise. Levkoff points out that if we, as parents, aren't talking about sex with our kids we'll be the only influence in their lives not putting in our two cents.

Which is extremely dangerous for our kids as all the other influences are promoting a very unhealthy sexuality.

Sex is everywhere. But, not really the good kind. It doesn't take a genius to realize that our kids are exposed to blatant, inappropriate sexuality with negative messages and connotations multiple times a day - and that's just during the commercials.

If there is any hope for daughters at all parents should be talking as openly and honestly as possible.

This, I believe with all my heart, in a cerebral kind of way.

In reality when my daughter asks me a question concerning sex I feel as though my conservative parents have temporarily inhabited my body to the point that I hear my own mother's voice come out of my mouth, "where did you hear that?" with a hysterical accusatory urgency.

Okay, I don't actually say that, but it is my first irrational instinct.

The truth is that I don't feel my own sexuality is a healthy one. It's more of a reaction to the oppressive anti-sexuality of conservative religion mingled with rebellion, an intellectual political response, a teaspoon of good old fashioned Christian guilt, a lifetime of hormonal biology, more than a few mistakes and regrets, influenced by hyper-sexual contemporary culture that becomes increasingly offensive to me, with some violent and abusive sexual trauma thrown in, mingled with a good dose of busy maternal exhaustion. The combination of which doesn't leave me feeling very equipped to pass on a healthy sexuality to my children.

That said, reading Third Base Ain't What It Used to Be: What Your Kids Are Learning About Sex Today- and How to Teach Them toBecome Sexually Healthy Adults did better prepare me for some contemporary questions I'm bound to face as the parent of contemporary kids. I hadn't really confronted the modern-day reality that kids are exposed to an advanced sexuality with little nuance and they are going to be bold enough to ask me some provocative questions.

I want my kids to come to me. I want them to trust me. I want them to believe me to be more of an expert than the other kids on the bus. I want them to look to me for sound advice.

Except that I don't ever want to talk about it again. In fact, I don't want them to ever know some of the sexual stuff they'll be exposed to even exists. See that? It's gonna take a healthy dose of courage to have conversations with my kids about sex and sexuality, after reading the book I feel better armed with adequate information.

Sexy

by Tracee Sioux

Maybe you're one of the people who disagree with me politically. Maybe you like the current health care system, don't have a problem with current employment policy, would love to see Row V. Wade overturned. In other words, maybe you're a Republican.

Okay, I can respect that. Almost everyone I know and love is a Republican. I grew up Mormon and married a Texan. Very Republican both.

As an advocate for girls let me make the following plea on behalf of your daughter:

Please, please, please speak respectfully of the one and only female candidate ever for President of the United States - Hillary Clinton.

What you say about Hillary Clinton has the potential to translate to your daughters as your opinion of all women (including your daughter) seeking power.

I vividly remember asking my parents what the Equal Rights Amendment was as a child. I remember them telling me that it was a bill to make women equal to men. And they were voting against it.

Here's how that translated to a six-year-old girl: My parents are voting against ME! Why would they do that?

What you might say instead of I Hate Hillary Clinton! might be, I think a woman would make a wonderful President, I just don't agree with this particular woman's political views on health insurance.

It would be helpful, for your daughter, to avoid vague negative statements about Hillary's suitability as a role model for girls. Instead you could say, I think it's wonderful that a female has gotten this far in American politics. It's wonderful that women are becoming more powerful and ambitious. I just don't agree with her views on abortion or the economy.

If you minimize and criticize the significance of Hillary's presence in this race you minimize and criticize your daughter's potential.

It's Super Tuesday: Take your daughter to vote with you and show her what being empowered in a democracy means.

Check out these carnivals, which have been kind enough to publish submissions from So Sioux Me.

Mom's Blogging Carnival has a little bit of everything at Lightening Online.

Carnival of Family Life is hosted over at A Child Chosen.

By Tracee Sioux

Have you gotten the four-page Hannah Montana Branding advertisement from Walmart?

Maddy gets ALL the Hannah Montana stuff! She has the wigs and the microphone and sleeping bag and DVD and CD. How come she gets it and I don't?

Hannah Montana is a Disney Channel sitcom and she's played by Miley Sirus, Billy Ray Sirus's daughter. She's a secret rockstar by night and a normal girl who goes to public school by day.

Last year Hannah was on our Not Allowed to Watch list because of her tone and the dating themes. But, I think we've established that Ainsley is getting her tone straight from the source - me - rather than Hannah.

I argued allow Hannah because she keeps Ainsley (and Zack) occupied while I write.

I've been contemplating doing a post about how the whole plot is propaganda to trick little girls into believing they really can have the best of both worlds (insert theme song music here) with the whole motherhood/career thing, without having to sacrifice anything.

But, since the Best of Both Worlds Tour commenced, the commando marketing is starting to get to me. Have you ever seen an entire four page ad dedicated to one celebrity brand? I can't say that I have.

Of course, Ainsley wants everything in it.

• socks
• shirts
• capris with Hannah's face on cuffs
• electric toothbrush
• gift card
• glasses frames (Hannah doesn't wear glasses)
• purse
• guitar purse
• watch
• t-shirts
• hats
• pajamas
• sleeping bag
• plates and napkins
• mini-wheats cereal
• song cards
• bedding set
• throw
• Nintendo system and games
• posters
• sticker card fun pack
• paperback books
• DVDs
• CDs
• Wigs in many different colors
• singing dolls
• doll paraphernelia
• electric guitar

With the concert selling out at reported $1,000 tickets Hannah mania is feeling more and more like a deranged attempt to seep funds out of parents' pockets.

No. You don't need all that Hannah Montana stuff.

It sounds so simple doesn't it? No. You don't need it.

I just haven't gotten a lot more creative than that.

Well, aside from my ordinary lessons on being a wise consumer:

Patience grasshopper, by spring I'll find loads of Hannah Montana stuff that spoiled girls demanded, recieved and grew tired of at garage sales.

With 5 years of experience as a reporter, two awards in photography and reporting and a very impressive portfolio and resume I was given $38,000 a year at a large publishing firm in 2000.

In the magazine a man hired at the same time, with a portfolio of crossword puzzle editing, no awards and a work history of equal duration was paid $50,000.

Right across the street at a similarly-sized publishing firm my husband, with no work history at all, no awards or accolades and no portfolio at all was hired for $39,500. That $1,500 MORE than I was making with all my experience, credentials, accolades and portfolio.

Pay discrimination is alive and well. But, we can take action right now to put a stop to it.

Take two seconds and sign the petition to get Congress to pass the Fair Pay Restoration Act.

It is within our power to make this a non-issue for our daughters.