I was waiting in the Drs. office with Ainsley analyzing a copy of Girls Inc.'s The Supergirl Dilemma. A report about what kind of stereotypes girls are still dealing with in today's world and the kinds of pressures it puts on them to measure up.

Reading the answers to the survey I figured what I really wanted to know is how my own daughter will answer these questions. (Also, it distracted her from the incessant complaining about waiting, which was driving me bonkers.)

So I read the quiz aloud to her:

* People think that girls care a lot about shopping? True or False?

True.

Do you like that it's true?

Yeah.

* Girls are under a lot of pressure to dress the right way?

True

Do you like that it's true.

Yeah.

* People don't think girls are good leaders?

False.

* People think girls don't know how to take care of their own money?

False

* Teachers think it's not important for girls to be good at math?

False.

The next day, I heard Ainsley holding court with her friends:

* People think that girls care a lot about shopping? True or False?

Oh, that's True! That's so true!

Do you like that it's true?

Yeah, I guess so.

What I learned about Ainsley, and her friends, is that she's pretty typical. In spite of all my going on about empowering girls she's a typical American girl.

We're making progress in major areas like math and science and money and leadership, according to the report.

Simultaneously, girls are feeling MORE pressure to look perfect and behave perfect and be good at everything.

The areas where it seemed we're not making as much progress are areas where the issues become complex and nuanced.

Questions like, Getting married and having children is the most important thing.
Well, what's so wrong with marriage and children? We wanted to know? Nothing. It's the "most important thing" part that throws the question off.

As a married woman I would put my family (husband and children) as my "most important thing" even though my career is pretty dang important. But then her father would answer the same way.

Ainsley knows that.

The question throws us both off kilter. What's progress? That it becomes not the most important thing? Or that she's not supposed to think it's the most important thing when she's 6 or 16?

It's a core value, is it not? One we don't necessarily want to outright discard.

I think a more informative question, for me, is whether it's still the ONLY thing that's important.

To which, hopefully my daughter would say no. While my mother and grandmother would say yes. While I say, Intellectually I know it's not, but it's a serious challenge for me to fight the SAHM social gravity & guilt that sucks me in, especially when I talk to my mother. But, I'm working on it.

That's the kind of generational gender progress I'm looking to achieve.

Other questions that throw us off kilter are about the ones about being kind and caring.

Ideally, we're teaching all our kids to be kind and caring and we're bringing the boys UP to the level we expect from girls. Not the other way around.

If you answer false to the question it feels like you're saying you want girls to be mean and uncaring. Which we know isn't what we want.

Girls should speak softly and not cause trouble is another question my daughter and I felt conflicted about.

No they shouldn't have to speak softly all the time. I don't. She doesn't. A little more soft-talking and a little less yelling wouldn't kill either one of us.

But no one should "cause trouble", is how we both felt like answering.

I get the question - because I have 2 decades of feminist theory behind me and I've been told I'm "causing trouble" for verbalizing the same concerns any man would have plenty of times - but the question shouldn't be designed for me.

They're designed for children who get their name and a check on the board for "causing trouble." One major focus of childhood is to devise ways to stay out of trouble, find your way out of trouble you've gotten into, or to push the envelope just enough to stay out of major trouble.

Basically I thought the implications of the question was out of context for children.

That said, I found the study enlightening. It tied together a pervasive feminine theme that needs to be stamped out immediately.

Find out what the theme is in Monday's post.
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Stop what you're doing right now and dance a little gig.

This is a big moment in girl evolution, a big moment in feminism, a big moment for education and a big moment for the future of the United States of America.

Girls and boys are officially equal in their math scores, at all grades, according to a Science article published in July.

Parents and teachers persist in thinking boys are simply better at math, said Janet Hyde in an MSNBC article, Girls' math skills now measure up to boys', the University of Wisconsin-Madison researcher who led the study. And girls who grow up believing it wind up avoiding harder math classes.

So, really. Stand up and do a gig for all your hard work. All the hard work of math teachers and educators, all the hard work of feminists, and female mathematicians who did math anyway.

Read more on the study at Women in Science.

If you want a lot of different commentary on the study and its meaning, look at the Knight Science Journalism Tracker which has rounded up links (thanks to Women in Science for this link).

Next time your daughter tells you she's not good at math or doesn't want to take calculus, tell her you have statistical evidence that she can and will do just as well as her brother, and there's no reason to let her husband handle the money when she grows up.

Check out these stats from a Newsweek story on Nerd Girls:

Forty years ago women made up just 3 percent of science and engineering jobs; now they make up about 20 percent. That sounds promising, until you consider that women earn 56 percent of the degrees in those fields. A recent Center for Work-Life Policy study found that 52 percent of women leave those jobs, with 63 percent saying they experienced workplace harassment and more than half believing they needed to "act like a man" in order to succeed. In the past, women dealt with that reality in two ways: some buried their femininity, while others simply gave up their techie interests to appear more feminine.

Read Newsweek's story, Revenge of the Nerdette, to find out about THIS generations' Nerd Girls strategy for staying in their science professions.

Here's a hint - they aren't quitting and they aren't dressing like their male counterparts. They are calling themselves "Nerd-a-licious."

Send your brainy daughter over to join nerdgirls.com

By Tracee Sioux



Mythbusters, a series on the Discovery Channels (TLC, etc), that puts myths and urban legends through scientific tests to determine if there is any truth to it is a fantastic way to empower girls.

When I was a kid I had no reason to believe that science or math might apply to me. When asking why I had to learn math I was given reasons like, to figure out a recipe, which frankly held no appeal for me. Math and science were “boy” subjects. Boys took wood and auto shop and learned how to built things and fix cars and girls were required to take home economics and learn to sew and cook. Seriously.

But, one of the best things we can do for our daughters is interest them in math and science professions, if only because these fields PAY a lot more money than social science professions do. Technology is moving quickly and science is becoming increasingly important in our society and culture. We need to be conscientious about preparing our children, especially our girls, for the scientifically advanced future they will face.

Mythbusters is fantastic because science become fun and interesting as all get out. We have spent entire lazy Saturdays or Sundays watching episode after episode of Mythbusters blowing up sharks, crashing cars or floating children with helium balloons. My husband got so excited about the experiment with Mentos and Diet Coke having the compound effect of a volcanic explosion that he performed the experiment at our daughter’s birthday party.

Even better for girls is that one of the scientists on the show is Kari Byron, a girl! It is totally awesome, for me and my daughter, to see her hold her own with other scientists and coming up with hypothesis’ and performing scientific experiments to prove or disprove a myth.

Will setting off too many roach bombs blow up a house? Actually, if there is a flame and a ton of bombs, it can.

Could the General Lee on the Dukes of Hazard really make those jumps? Uh, no.

Can you blow up a great white shark with an air tank? Watch the show with your daughter to find out.