By now no one will be surprised when I say that I’m not a huge fan of Belle from Beauty and the Beast.

Some might see Belle as a redeeming character because she is smart and loves to read. She is, after all, bright enough to tell Gaston, the quintessential good-looking football player type, where to go. Good for Belle, even though all the other village girls love Gaston, she thinks he’s a moron and is looking for something different.

When her mad scientist father gets held as a hostage by the mean ugly beast, Belle, the loyal daughter, finds him. Selflessly, she trades her own freedom so that her father can go to the invention festival. What?!?

Here’s the first lesson we need to tell our daughters, Your dad and I will never, ever trade you for anything. If you are ever held by a beast or anyone else we WILL bring the police and find you or die trying. If you are ever kidnapped or someone tries to take you then you should do anything you can to get away. Scream, bite, scratch, kick and run as fast as you can.

The rest of the story is basically how Belle is such a good and sweet young woman that she transforms the compassionless, angry, self-absorbed, violent, ugly and mean beast into the Prince he always was inside.

Basically, the story is just early training for future battered women everywhere. This is Stockholm Syndrome. Women love to love their abuser and fantasize that eventually she’ll love him enough that he’ll start treating her with love and respect. Every woman who gets abused desperately wants to believe that her compassionless, angry, mean, self-absorbed jerk of a husband or boyfriend has a kind prince locked inside and if she is just a good and sweet and forgiving enough wife or girlfriend then she can change him into a sweet guy.

What kind of codependent crap are we feeding our daughters at bedtime? We’re setting them up to be victims with this story. Is it any surprise that 30% of women put up with abuse at some point in their lives? Come on!

I recommend telling our daughters the truth.

If you marry a mean and selfish or violent beast of a man you will never, ever change him into a nice guy. People are who they are. No one has the power to change anyone else. Don’t waste your life trying.

The best thing to do is to marry a guy who is already good and sweet and kind and generous. Find someone who treats you with respect from the beginning and skip all the fairytale drama.

Here's the Challenge: add, if not completely replace some of these princess horror stories with stories that have good messages like The Practical Princess, and other liberating fairy tales. And give your daughters a new perspective on the old messages found in Disney's version.

Once when my mother-in-law pointed to a play vacuum as a great gift for my daughter, I responded, Great, so she can grow up to be a maid. She gave it to my niece rather than my daughter. Good. Kids learn through toys and they learn about our expectations of them through toys as well. Science toys for girls open doors for their future.

In this case, this nifty little gadget meade my sky">My Sky Personal Video Planetarium at , opens up the whole universe, literally. It's an interactive telescope that identifies the stars, planets, comets, black holes, etc. It will identify 30,000 celestial objects on its LCD screen. But, it's a bit pricey at over $300. Lots of people spend that for Christmas though.

Daughters should see astronomer or astronaut as achievable goals.

Follow this Pay Per Post link to find out more: http://www.opticsplanet.net/meade-mysky-personal-guide-sky-exploration.html">meade my sky

By Tracee Sioux

My daughter, like every five-year-old girl loves the Disney Princesses. I mean, we can't really walk through any store without seeing clothing, dolls, books, backpacks, flash cards, puzzles, games, dress up clothes, videos, bed spreads or shoes that aren't logoed with these girls.

Since banning the princess paraphernalia we like to play a little game. She tries to think up a princess who was an empowered girl and I explain to her why that princess is not an acceptable role model.

What's wrong with Ariel, The Little Mermaid? Ainsley asks.

First, Ariel made a deal with the devil, Ursula is pretty much the evil devil character in the story. You must never assume the devil will look a certain way. You should never believe anyone who tells you they can give you something you desire if you give up your talents. Because most likely they are lying.

Second, Ariel had the gift of a beautiful voice. That's a talent given to her by God. When God gives you a gift or a talent you don't ever trade that for some guy. I don't care who the guy is, if he loves you, there will be room for your gifts and talents to flourish.

Third, Ariel fell for the first man she saw. Smart girls date and have a few boyfriends before they settle down and get married. See, it takes practice and trying different boyfriends out before you really know what kind of man will be best for you. Never marry the first man you see.

Fourth, Ariel gave up her family for the prince. True love will never require that you abandon your parents or siblings or friends or life. If a man wants you to give up family or friends to be with him, then he doesn't really love you.

Fifth, Ariel gave up her voice. No man worthy of your love will want you to give up your voice. You have important things to say, valid and worthy things. Any man you marry should encourage you to say what you think and voice your opinions. Don't ever, ever let a man silence you.

Give a girl you know an alternative to Disney's version of girl. Try something likeThe practical princess, and other liberating fairy tales or missing piece meets big o where the messages are you can save yourself and you're already whole and complete.


Side Note: The Carnival of Family Life always has some great stuff to read. Check it out at Down With the Kids. My story, Battered Women, Time To Leave is included.

I find it terribly unempowering when debt eats you alive. Going into debt is something I will teach my daughter not to do. But, really it's hard when we suffer so as Americans from stuffitis. Our girls are marketed to in an aggressive way and one of the best ways to teach them not to be so concerned with things is to learn how to manage our own financial lives.

There is a Carnival of Debt Management that I have posted my article, I saw Satan on TV, (and He's a Little Dork) on. I can't vouch for the soundness of all the blogs, but hopefully you'll find some that make you rethink debt.

Live within your means and become wealthy with The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness and Financial Peace Revisited. It's a hard plan to get rid of all your debt and build a sound foundation in your financial life, but it's a worthy one.

Really, I think Dave Ramsey should start paying me a monthly ad fee, don't you?

Also, Suze Orman has some great stuff for women specifically. How many of us are dependent? I am and it's a little scary, and probably more than a little stupid. I haven't read her book Women & Money: Owning the Power to Control Your Destiny yet. She's right that women are stupid not to have our own money, but right now I'm a stay-at-home-mom and I don't see how I can set aside my own emergency fund as she recommends. There's just not enough left over. But, that shouldn't stop me from telling my daughter that having her own money and not being entirely dependent is important.

By Tracee Sioux

We had a fabulous time over Memorial Day weekend when a very generous friend offered to let us stay at her bed and breakfast for three days. It was super-glorious. We were so grateful we couldn’t help inviting a few friends over to share it and made it a lovely party. It got me to thinking about who does the domestic or social labor, men or women?

When my extended family socializes or have parties it is literally exhausting hard labor for the women. My grandmother, aunts and mom will cook for days. They are the last to sit down and when the eating is over the women are the ones to clean up. As a child I just accepted this as a matter of course. The women did the work in the home.

As an adult, however, I am one of the women expected to work my butt off. As an adult I’ve come to realize how exhausting putting on Sunday dinner is. It’s a day of rest for the men, but a day of hard labor for the women. As a little girl everyone in our family had to clear their own plates from the table, except my father, he was treated as a pampered prince because he was the man and “brought home the money,” my mother would explain. Well, women are bringing home much of the money in today’s society, but we’re still doing more than our share of the domestic labor.

I don’t resent the work to create a hospitable party. I resent the men sitting there taking it for granted that it’s the woman’s job. I can’t change my extended family, but I’m straight up with my daughter that it’s the wrong attitude and it’s unfair.

When I throw a party or get ready for company my husband pitches in. He is expected to help me clean for company, prepare the food and to clean up after the party. Why shouldn’t he really?

I think we're in a a girl revolution and we, their parents, are the transition generation. It’s not too easy to convince my 50-year-old uncle that it’s his job to clean up after dinner as much as it is mine. However, my daughter can see that I expect my husband to help in the same social situations. This way, by the time she’s grown up she’ll know that it’s within her rights to expect her husband to help with the domestic chores.