I remember a supervising comment my mother made to me just a few years ago. I was talking to her about my junior/high school days and recounting how stupid it was yet how important it seemed it was to wear the “right” kind of clothing. I never felt that I could ever really fit it, because my parents couldn’t afford the designer jeans.
She said to me, “yes, I feel really bad about that. I should have spent more money on your clothes. Kids have so many pressures and worries; clothing shouldn’t have to be one of them.” It was not the comment I was expecting and it really gave me cause to think. Looking back I think my parents did a great job at the balancing act, so I was shocked by what my mom said. Although, it would be nice to look back on my childhood fondly and not be plagued by feelings of embarrassment about how the clothes I wore. But really I think that’s more of a self-esteem issue than one of fashion.
I guess ideally I’d hope that my children growing up won’t place much emphasis on their clothing because they have confidence in themselves and not just in what they wear.

My recently decided philosophy is this: regardless of how much money is spent or not, children should look clean and presentable. I traveled to Romania a few years back to visit a very poor family I’d become friends with through a contact made in Germany where I was living at the time. I noticed that many of the items of clothing they were wearing were donations I myself and others had sent. They were obviously not new or top of the line. Yet, they were treated very well, kept clean and pressed if needed and worn with dignity. My friends were shockingly poor, yet you’d never know it by looking at them. I believe it’s not really what you wear but how you were it. Confidence comes from within, and I think it’s how you wear the article of clothing, not what you wear.

I don’t know if I’ll let my children go to school miss matched. Whether or not it bothers them, people will treat them accordingly. I want my children to be respected and treated kindly by others. Not like Oscar the grouch, who wears garbage on his back. He may be a sweetheart inside, but appearances do matter. The saying goes, “never judge a book by its cover” but it is also said that, “first impressions are lasting.” I want to help my children fit in socially without being victim to fashion and debt, and I think it is possible to do both.
Janet

Oh yes Janet,

I'm still suffering from the fact that I did not have any Guess Jeans or a Swatch Watch. But, I was in Junior High School when it mattered. They so totally could have afforded to buy me those two things.

It does disturb me that it's now Kindergarten and Pre-K where these things have taken on such meaning. On a deeper level I believe the clothing issue is where the "mean girl" behavior begins and therefore it's an important issue.

It's also my belief is that in Pre-K it had more to do with the mothers of the girls than it did the girls. It was almost as if the mothers sent their daughters off as if they were in a fashion show so as not to be judged or ridiculed by the other mothers. Mean girls grow up and have children and CREATE the kindergarten fashion show.

In the meantime, my daughters Sketchers, while they cost me only $1 at a garage sale, well they are still Sketchers so she can hold her head high. All of her other clothes are more than presentable, they are down right cute.

And I don't think she exists to be a reflection of me and therefore she doesn't have to match. She is expressing her self when she dresses and while it may look mis-matched to me or you, it looks fabulous to her.

How would she develop the confidence you talk about if I told her she looked rediculous and wasn't allowed out of the house when she decided to wear something that didn't match? I don't believe she could develop that confidence, I believe that would make her fundamentally insecure about her own style, taste and decisions.

Then how will she stand up to the mean girls in Junior High?

Tracee

I remember a supervising comment my mother made to me just a few years ago. I was talking to her about my junior/high school days and recounting how stupid it was yet how important it seemed it was to wear the “right” kind of clothing. I never felt that I could ever really fit it, because my parents couldn’t afford the designer jeans.
She said to me, “yes, I feel really bad about that. I should have spent more money on your clothes. Kids have so many pressures and worries; clothing shouldn’t have to be one of them.” It was not the comment I was expecting and it really gave me cause to think. Looking back I think my parents did a great job at the balancing act, so I was shocked by what my mom said. Although, it would be nice to look back on my childhood fondly and not be plagued by feelings of embarrassment about how the clothes I wore. But really I think that’s more of a self-esteem issue than one of fashion.
I guess ideally I’d hope that my children growing up won’t place much emphasis on their clothing because they have confidence in themselves and not just in what they wear.

My recently decided philosophy is this: regardless of how much money is spent or not, children should look clean and presentable. I traveled to Romania a few years back to visit a very poor family I’d become friends with through a contact made in Germany where I was living at the time. I noticed that many of the items of clothing they were wearing were donations I myself and others had sent. They were obviously not new or top of the line. Yet, they were treated very well, kept clean and pressed if needed and worn with dignity. My friends were shockingly poor, yet you’d never know it by looking at them. I believe it’s not really what you wear but how you were it. Confidence comes from within, and I think it’s how you wear the article of clothing, not what you wear.

I don’t know if I’ll let my children go to school miss matched. Whether or not it bothers them, people will treat them accordingly. I want my children to be respected and treated kindly by others. Not like Oscar the grouch, who wears garbage on his back. He may be a sweetheart inside, but appearances do matter. The saying goes, “never judge a book by its cover” but it is also said that, “first impressions are lasting.” I want to help my children fit in socially without being victim to fashion and debt, and I think it is possible to do both.
Janet

Oh yes Janet,

I'm still suffering from the fact that I did not have any Guess Jeans or a Swatch Watch. But, I was in Junior High School when it mattered. They so totally could have afforded to buy me those two things.

It does disturb me that it's now Kindergarten and Pre-K where these things have taken on such meaning. On a deeper level I believe the clothing issue is where the "mean girl" behavior begins and therefore it's an important issue.

It's also my belief is that in Pre-K it had more to do with the mothers of the girls than it did the girls. It was almost as if the mothers sent their daughters off as if they were in a fashion show so as not to be judged or ridiculed by the other mothers. Mean girls grow up and have children and CREATE the kindergarten fashion show.

In the meantime, my daughters Sketchers, while they cost me only $1 at a garage sale, well they are still Sketchers so she can hold her head high. All of her other clothes are more than presentable, they are down right cute.

And I don't think she exists to be a reflection of me and therefore she doesn't have to match. She is expressing her self when she dresses and while it may look mis-matched to me or you, it looks fabulous to her.

How would she develop the confidence you talk about if I told her she looked rediculous and wasn't allowed out of the house when she decided to wear something that didn't match? I don't believe she could develop that confidence, I believe that would make her fundamentally insecure about her own style, taste and decisions.

Then how will she stand up to the mean girls in Junior High?

Tracee