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Thursday, September 20, 2007

Dating Violence

by Tracee Sioux

In Texas, almost 188,000 incidents of domestic violence occurred during 2005, and more than 330,000 rapes occur every year, according to Gov. Rick Perry's office.

But it always starts with the girls and boys. Intimate violence is not a problem that develops when healthy adults get together.

In 2007 Texas finally decided to address it. This is the first year dating violence education is being required in the public school system.


Both the victim and the offender attribute responsibility for dating violence to the victim. The majority of both girls and boys site the girl's appearance, the girl's personality, the girl's provocation, the girl's communication style, the girl's need for affection or the girl's peer group influence as the cause of intimate partner violence.


Prevelence and Frequency

* Females age 16-24 are the most vulnerable to intimate partner violence, suffering at a rate of three times the national average.

* Both males and females report being victims of dating violence. However, boys injure girls more severely and frequently.

* 1 in 5 female high school students report being abused by an intimate partner.

* 22% of all homicides of females between 16-19 were committed by their intimate partner.

* Half of adult sex-offenders admit their first violent offense occurred before age 18.

* Half of reported date-rape occurs to teenagers.

* Teens who experience partner violence are at increased risk for unhealthy eating behaviors, sexually risky behaviors, pregnancy, suicide, and substance abuse.


Parent Awareness

* 81% of parents say dating violence is not an issue or they don't know if it is.

* 54% of parents have never discussed it with their kids.


Teen Awareness

* 33% of teens have witnessed a dating violence incident.

* 20% of male students say they have witnessed a friend hitting his girlfriend.

* 39% of females report that whether a person is trying to control his partner is a common topic of conversation.

* 57% say they know someone who has been verbally, physically or sexually abusive in a dating relationship.

* 45% of girls say they know someone who has been pressured into intercourse or oral sex.

* 1 in 3 teens say they know someone hos has been punched, hit, kicked, or slapped by their dating partner.


Reporting

* Among females 83% said they would confide in a friend. Only 7% said they would tell the police.

* 33% of teens who have been the victim of abuse never told anyone.


The Offender

* Out of 1,600 teen sex offenders

* Only 33% said sex was an expression of caring and love.

* 25% said it was about power and control.

* 9.4% said it was a way to dissipate anger.

* 8.4% said it was a way to punish.


Contributing Factors

* One study found a high correlation between teen-mothers being abuse by their partners within 3 months after the birth of the baby.

* 77% of female and 67% percent of male high school students endorse some form of sexual coercion such as unwanted touching, kissing, hugging, genital contact and sexual intercourse.

* Male peer support for violence against women is a constant predictor of violence against dating partners.

* 50% of victims of dating violence report being suicidal, compared with 12% of non-abused girls and 4.5% of non-abused boys.

To verify the statistics and research the sources click here.


For more Dating Violence Prevention and Awareness Tools and Resources click here.

6 comments:

jeanie said...

Thanks for that information.

As the mother of a girl who will be a teen one day, in a town where drinking and violence is fairly rampant in certain sectors (like the teenage years) it is a concern.

Knowledge IS power - and empowerment of your children is the best defence.

So Sioux Me said...

I couldn't agree more. The myth that "it's the girl's fault" seems to have perpetuated since I was that girl.

For some reason we find it difficult to hold boys responsible for their behavior.

Kate said...

Obviously, we need to talk to girls and boys about discussing, between themselves, how far they want to go and respecting each others boundaries. Talking about needing to embrace is one thing. Loving to kiss for hours and hours is also another thing. Saying that it all happens above the waist or over the clothes, that is clear communication.

Violet said...

"It's the girls fault" has been around as long as boys have been acting out.

The seeds of violence toward women start with disrepect. Boys who push girls down on the playground, pull girls' skirts up, flip bras, etc. need to be taught that their behavior is totally unacceptable. Too often we excuse this type of behavior as "no big deal." Well these statistics are the result of that.

In my experience, moms are the first ones to excuse this behavior in their sons. Can anyone explain WHY?

Jonna said...

When I was a young teenager (and same for my sister), my dad took me on dates to show me how a boy should treat me if we were dating. He held the door for me, he paid for things, he even put his arm on the back of my chair, and he kissed my cheek when he brought me home (all safe dad-daughter stuff). But he pointedly mentioned all of the things that he wouldn't do because he was my dad but also because boys I went out with shouldn't do those things either. And that if anybody ever treated me less than I deserved, that I should tell him, and he'd always be there to keep me safe. Naturally, Dad wasn't really always there to keep me safe, but I knew I could go to him, and I definitely knew what I deserved, and set rather high standards for the guys I went out with.

So Sioux Me said...

We want our daughters to be safe so we pretend that we can control male behavior by changing OUR clothes and behavior. If we feel we have some measure to protect ourselves with then we can pretend we're okay. We don't have that and we have to walk around afraid all the time. I think it feels far worse to tell a daughter "1 out of 5 girls are raped, but there's really nothing you can do to stop it or control it, have a good day at school."

Mothers of boys want to believe THEY did it "right" I guess. Versus all the other mothers, I suppose. To admit our sons would perpetrate against girls is to admit they would purpetrate against us or hate us, which equals our failure in raising the next generation of people.

That's my theory anyway. That's the best I can work out in the face of mothers defending boys and blaming daughters.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Dating Violence

by Tracee Sioux

In Texas, almost 188,000 incidents of domestic violence occurred during 2005, and more than 330,000 rapes occur every year, according to Gov. Rick Perry's office.

But it always starts with the girls and boys. Intimate violence is not a problem that develops when healthy adults get together.

In 2007 Texas finally decided to address it. This is the first year dating violence education is being required in the public school system.


Both the victim and the offender attribute responsibility for dating violence to the victim. The majority of both girls and boys site the girl's appearance, the girl's personality, the girl's provocation, the girl's communication style, the girl's need for affection or the girl's peer group influence as the cause of intimate partner violence.


Prevelence and Frequency

* Females age 16-24 are the most vulnerable to intimate partner violence, suffering at a rate of three times the national average.

* Both males and females report being victims of dating violence. However, boys injure girls more severely and frequently.

* 1 in 5 female high school students report being abused by an intimate partner.

* 22% of all homicides of females between 16-19 were committed by their intimate partner.

* Half of adult sex-offenders admit their first violent offense occurred before age 18.

* Half of reported date-rape occurs to teenagers.

* Teens who experience partner violence are at increased risk for unhealthy eating behaviors, sexually risky behaviors, pregnancy, suicide, and substance abuse.


Parent Awareness

* 81% of parents say dating violence is not an issue or they don't know if it is.

* 54% of parents have never discussed it with their kids.


Teen Awareness

* 33% of teens have witnessed a dating violence incident.

* 20% of male students say they have witnessed a friend hitting his girlfriend.

* 39% of females report that whether a person is trying to control his partner is a common topic of conversation.

* 57% say they know someone who has been verbally, physically or sexually abusive in a dating relationship.

* 45% of girls say they know someone who has been pressured into intercourse or oral sex.

* 1 in 3 teens say they know someone hos has been punched, hit, kicked, or slapped by their dating partner.


Reporting

* Among females 83% said they would confide in a friend. Only 7% said they would tell the police.

* 33% of teens who have been the victim of abuse never told anyone.


The Offender

* Out of 1,600 teen sex offenders

* Only 33% said sex was an expression of caring and love.

* 25% said it was about power and control.

* 9.4% said it was a way to dissipate anger.

* 8.4% said it was a way to punish.


Contributing Factors

* One study found a high correlation between teen-mothers being abuse by their partners within 3 months after the birth of the baby.

* 77% of female and 67% percent of male high school students endorse some form of sexual coercion such as unwanted touching, kissing, hugging, genital contact and sexual intercourse.

* Male peer support for violence against women is a constant predictor of violence against dating partners.

* 50% of victims of dating violence report being suicidal, compared with 12% of non-abused girls and 4.5% of non-abused boys.

To verify the statistics and research the sources click here.


For more Dating Violence Prevention and Awareness Tools and Resources click here.

6 comments:

jeanie said...

Thanks for that information.

As the mother of a girl who will be a teen one day, in a town where drinking and violence is fairly rampant in certain sectors (like the teenage years) it is a concern.

Knowledge IS power - and empowerment of your children is the best defence.

So Sioux Me said...

I couldn't agree more. The myth that "it's the girl's fault" seems to have perpetuated since I was that girl.

For some reason we find it difficult to hold boys responsible for their behavior.

Kate said...

Obviously, we need to talk to girls and boys about discussing, between themselves, how far they want to go and respecting each others boundaries. Talking about needing to embrace is one thing. Loving to kiss for hours and hours is also another thing. Saying that it all happens above the waist or over the clothes, that is clear communication.

Violet said...

"It's the girls fault" has been around as long as boys have been acting out.

The seeds of violence toward women start with disrepect. Boys who push girls down on the playground, pull girls' skirts up, flip bras, etc. need to be taught that their behavior is totally unacceptable. Too often we excuse this type of behavior as "no big deal." Well these statistics are the result of that.

In my experience, moms are the first ones to excuse this behavior in their sons. Can anyone explain WHY?

Jonna said...

When I was a young teenager (and same for my sister), my dad took me on dates to show me how a boy should treat me if we were dating. He held the door for me, he paid for things, he even put his arm on the back of my chair, and he kissed my cheek when he brought me home (all safe dad-daughter stuff). But he pointedly mentioned all of the things that he wouldn't do because he was my dad but also because boys I went out with shouldn't do those things either. And that if anybody ever treated me less than I deserved, that I should tell him, and he'd always be there to keep me safe. Naturally, Dad wasn't really always there to keep me safe, but I knew I could go to him, and I definitely knew what I deserved, and set rather high standards for the guys I went out with.

So Sioux Me said...

We want our daughters to be safe so we pretend that we can control male behavior by changing OUR clothes and behavior. If we feel we have some measure to protect ourselves with then we can pretend we're okay. We don't have that and we have to walk around afraid all the time. I think it feels far worse to tell a daughter "1 out of 5 girls are raped, but there's really nothing you can do to stop it or control it, have a good day at school."

Mothers of boys want to believe THEY did it "right" I guess. Versus all the other mothers, I suppose. To admit our sons would perpetrate against girls is to admit they would purpetrate against us or hate us, which equals our failure in raising the next generation of people.

That's my theory anyway. That's the best I can work out in the face of mothers defending boys and blaming daughters.