“Low self-esteem among girls and young women has reached a crisis level,” said Dr. Ann Kearney-Cooke, Ph.D., a psychologist and self-esteem expert who collaborated on Real Girls, Real Pressure a report on the state of girls' self-esteem sponsored by Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty.

According to the report:

* 61 percent of teen girls with low self-esteem admit to talking badly about themselves

* 67 percent of girls ages 13 – 17 turn to their mother as a resource when feeling badly about themselves compared to 91 percent of girls ages 8 – 12.

* Only 27 percent of girls ages 13 – 17 will turn to their father for help when feeling badly about themselves compared to 54 percent of girls ages 8-12.

* At 16, girls become more likely to seek support from male peers than from their own dads.

* 75 percent of girls with low self-esteem reported engaging in negative and potentially harmful activities, such as disordered eating, cutting, bullying, smoking or drinking.

* 25 percent of teen girls with low self-esteem resort to injuring themselves on purpose or cutting when feeling badly about themselves.

* 25 percent of teen girls with low self-esteem practice disordered eating, such as starving themselves, refusing to eat, or over-eating and throwing up, when feeling badly about themselves.

Real Girls, Real Pressure: A National Report on the State of Self-Esteem was conducted nationally online among 1,029 girls 8 – 17, and is representative of the U.S. based on census indicators (region, ethnicity
and parental education.) An additional 3,344 girls 8 – 17 were surveyed in a targeted study that was conducted in 20 major U.S. cities representative of each DMA based on ethnicity and parental education.
The research was conducted by StrategyOne, an applied research consulting firm, in collaboration with Ann Kearney-Cooke, PhD.

The question is: what is the cause and what is the cure for this low-self esteem in girls?

Dove's new Campaign for Real Beauty viral video - Under Pressure.

by Tracee Sioux

More and more I'm coming into contact with teenage girls and young women who meet the beauty ideal - 100 lbs, blond highlights, blue eyed, clear skin, fantastic fashion sense - and discovering their self-esteem is as low as anyones.

Even those who meet the beauty ideal don't understand why I have a blank mystified stare when they tell me how they aren't pretty enough.

What I'm thinking is, If YOU don't measure up then no one does.

Which brings us to the core of the problem. No one does and no one can.

The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty "aims to widen the definition of beauty and inspire positive self-image among women – in short, to help more women feel beautiful every day."

Their newest venture in the cause to broaden beauty is the Reality Diaries.

The press release states, "The Reality Diaries Program is a 6 week program that revolves around the lives of four real girls who share their personal self-esteem stories online. They record their journey online through the use of blogs and videos, allowing girls across the country to go behind-the-scenes on their real lives and understand the factors that impact their self-esteem. Each girl deals with a different self-esteem issue and the Diaries will reflect how the media influences their self-esteem."

Each of the girls are 17 and seniors in high school. Each have different beauty pressures: Chelsea, the black pageant girl and becomes hyper-critical of every flaw to try to stamp it out before the other contestants single it out, Sydney; whose mother wants to fix her complex about her nose with a graduation gift of rhinoplasty, which only makes her feel worse; Jordan, who seems to meet the beauty standard but who picks herself apart because she fears the boys have unrealistically high standards she'll never meet; and Irene, the "pretty Asian girl" who overlooks racial slurs to gain social acceptance.

The Reality Diaries is moderated by Jess, Doves Global Ambassador of Self Esteem, who, like the rest of us, doesn't measure up to today's beauty standards, but has a self esteem anyway.

As a tool for girls the Reality Diaries will hopefully serve to make girls feel connected to other girls. Hopefully, they will realize how unrealistic the beauty ideal is and learn to have a positive self esteem regardless of cultural expectations.

For parents and educators the Reality Diaries are a great opportunity to observe what girls are really thinking and feeling about themselves today.

I'm a big fan of Dove's advertising campaigns. When I saw the real women in their white bra and panties on Oprah, the models for Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty, I got tears in my eyes. Finally, advertising that says real women are beautiful, I thought. I even wrote them a letter thanking them for being the first company, I felt, that didn't try to sell women beauty products by making them feel ugly or less than. Even yesterday I saw the Oprah rerun on Dove's Pro-Age campaign (women over 50 posing tastefully nude) and the staggering beauty of real women brought tears to my eyes.

The infamous Evolution video (featured above) is a great tool which allows us to show our daughters the truth about advertising and beauty. No one looks like they look in a magazine. The thing about all these amazing advancements in technology, like Photoshop, is that reality gets blurred. As parents, mentors, and educators it's important to help girls understand that how they look in reality is beautiful. And how girls and women look in magazines, on television, in movies, and in advertising is fiction, created by technology and professional artists.

Above is a fascinating collection of Dove videos, including their newest Truth Behind Hollywood Hair Call your daughter over and watch them together. They are a great tool for teaching girls, and reminding ourselves, about the reality of beauty.

Visit Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty for more resources on how to make girls feel beautiful.
More posts on Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty
Beauty & Reality
Self-Loathing Sin Bank
More posts on hair:
Pink Hair Fiasco
Pink Hair Fiasco Take 2
Curl Maintenance
The Meaning of Hair

By Tracee Sioux

The intention of this blog is to give great advice on how to empower yourself and empower your daughter. Many times I'm writing as an issue comes up with my daughter. This means that I am putting my advice in to practice and I intend to update readers with the reality of how effective my advice has been -- for me.

I invite you to let me know if you have implemented any suggestions and to leave comments about whether or not my advice was effective for you.

Going backwards . . .

Yes, she's a Brat

Ainsley is a brat this season. I called and asked them to change her team and they didn't even call me back. They said it would leave her team with only 8 players and that's not allowed.

I could choose to pick up my ball and go home. And I guess that would be a valid decision to make.

But, Ainsley is a Superstar!!! She loves the game, she's getting great exercise and she totally ROCKS at soccer! She literally stopped the Grasshoppers from scoring, stole the ball and RAN it down the entire length of the field and she SCORED!! She did that 3 times on Saturday.

I've thought of making an acronym with the letters in BRATZ -- remember when we were kids and we used to say "Yeah I'm a PIG - Pretty Intelligent Girl." I thought about writing it downwards on the shirt. Brave, Radical, Athletic, Team, Zorro . . . (obviously, that's a work in progress - wordsmiths can come up with something better and email me suggestions @ traceesioux@yahoo.com).

I really have to say though that it has given me a great opportunity to discuss why I believe Bratz are a bad idea with parents who never thought about it before. I've discussed it with my book club, with parents at a birthday party, with the parents and coach of Ainsley's team and we're only 3 weeks into the season. I believe the discussion is helpful to other parents, making them examine what they really think about it. Honestly, I believe most of them have a gut feeling that those Bratz dolls are a bad influence, but they really don't know that they can stand up to the mass marketing to our children.

Best of all, it's given me opportunities to teach Ainsley these lessons:

• Stand up for yourself, it's not that bad to stand alone.
• Never shut up to appease or go along with the crowd.
• We define our own selves, not our shirts, our team names or other people.
• Principles are important.
• Sometimes we have to choose between two principles
• Find the positive in a situation.
• Don't quit, be a good sport and handle yourself with poise and dignity.

But, next season we'll repool and find another team during enrollment or we'll change the team name to Happy Feet. I think I'll volunteer to coach too. http://traceesioux.blogspot.com/2007/02/go-bratz-go.html

Our Sin Beauty Bank is empty -- and that's a good thing

The Sin Beauty Bank has been hugely effective. It's empty - we spent the 75 cents that was in it. Ainsley has only said anything weighty about her body once and that was to get attention from some self-loathing relatives we were visiting.

Just the act of deciding that we would not criticize our bodies anymore was very effective. Even better, I've been extremely grateful about my body which has increased my self-worth.

I'm getting so strong and could actually run a mile now and I feel so powerful when I work out. It's increased health I really aim for.

Sometimes while I do Yoga I just pray, "Thank you God for this healthy and strong body. I feel so magnificently powerful - like I can do anything - when I am in warrior pose. This fantastic body grew two perfect, healthy babies, thanks for that miracle of an opportunity. Thanks for my breasts that held up rather well and for my abs which are finding strength again." http://traceesioux.blogspot.com/2007/01/self-loathing-sin-bank.html

Husband's education paid for

Through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University we have paid off around $8,000 in bills, including my husband's student loan. We are down to one bill - my student loan.

I still find myself envying what other people have on occasion - especially when I go to their homes and see all their beautiful and coordinated furniture and art. But, then I find out that it's all financed and they are getting ulcers from the stress of paying for all their pretty financed things.

That's when I thank God that we learned our lesson and we will never, ever finance anything but a home. So, when you come to my house and envy my things one day, know that I OWN it outright and I saved the money to buy it. It's a position of liberation.

Interestingly, that last two people I can recall envying have been more than excited to hear about Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University and confessed that though they appear to have it all, they sometimes bounce checks or miss payments due to being overextended. http://traceesioux.blogspot.com/2007/01/i-saw-satan-on-tv-and-hes-little-dork.html

Not a Princess-Nazi

We still have a rule about no princesses, but today Ainsley was given some dress-up clothes with Cinderella and Ariel's profile on them.

I let her keep them. I reminded her that I don't care for princesses because Cinderella could have gone to law school and saved herself and Ariel shouldn't have give-up her gifts and talents or her right to speak to find a boyfriend.

She can't help it - she still likes those stupid princesses. She wants to please me, but she also wants to wear that dress. I don't want to be so strict about it that she loves the princesses even more, because my gut tells me that will turn out badly.

So, sometimes I conscientiously let her break the princess ban if someone hands something down. http://traceesioux.blogspot.com/2007/01/princess-ban.html