The intention of this blog is to give great advice on how to empower yourself and empower your daughter. Many times I'm writing as an issue comes up with my daughter. This means that I am putting my advice in to practice and I intend to update readers with the reality of how effective my advice has been -- for me.
I invite you to let me know if you have implemented any suggestions and to leave comments about whether or not my advice was effective for you.
Going backwards . . .
Yes, she's a Brat
Ainsley is a brat this season. I called and asked them to change her team and they didn't even call me back. They said it would leave her team with only 8 players and that's not allowed.
I could choose to pick up my ball and go home. And I guess that would be a valid decision to make.
But, Ainsley is a Superstar!!! She loves the game, she's getting great exercise and she totally ROCKS at soccer! She literally stopped the Grasshoppers from scoring, stole the ball and RAN it down the entire length of the field and she SCORED!! She did that 3 times on Saturday.
I've thought of making an acronym with the letters in BRATZ -- remember when we were kids and we used to say "Yeah I'm a PIG - Pretty Intelligent Girl." I thought about writing it downwards on the shirt. Brave, Radical, Athletic, Team, Zorro . . . (obviously, that's a work in progress - wordsmiths can come up with something better and email me suggestions @ firstname.lastname@example.org).
I really have to say though that it has given me a great opportunity to discuss why I believe Bratz are a bad idea with parents who never thought about it before. I've discussed it with my book club, with parents at a birthday party, with the parents and coach of Ainsley's team and we're only 3 weeks into the season. I believe the discussion is helpful to other parents, making them examine what they really think about it. Honestly, I believe most of them have a gut feeling that those Bratz dolls are a bad influence, but they really don't know that they can stand up to the mass marketing to our children.
Best of all, it's given me opportunities to teach Ainsley these lessons:
- Stand up for yourself, it's not that bad to stand alone.
- Never shut up to appease or go along with the crowd.
- We define our own selves, not our shirts, our team names or other people.
- Principles are important.
- Sometimes we have to choose between two principles
- Find the positive in a situation.
- Don't quit, be a good sport and handle yourself with poise and dignity.
But, next season we'll repool and find another team during enrollment or we'll change the team name to Happy Feet. I think I'll volunteer to coach too. http://traceesioux.blogspot.com/2007/02/go-bratz-go.html
Our Sin Beauty Bank is empty -- and that's a good thing
The Sin Beauty Bank has been hugely effective. It's empty - we spent the 75 cents that was in it. Ainsley has only said anything weighty about her body once and that was to get attention from some self-loathing relatives we were visiting.
Just the act of deciding that we would not criticize our bodies anymore was very effective. Even better, I've been extremely grateful about my body which has increased my self-worth.
I'm getting so strong and could actually run a mile now and I feel so powerful when I work out. It's increased health I really aim for.
Sometimes while I do Yoga I just pray, "Thank you God for this healthy and strong body. I feel so magnificently powerful - like I can do anything - when I am in warrior pose. This fantastic body grew two perfect, healthy babies, thanks for that miracle of an opportunity. Thanks for my breasts that held up rather well and for my abs which are finding strength again." http://traceesioux.blogspot.com/2007/01/self-loathing-sin-bank.html
Husband's education paid for
Through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University we have paid off around $8,000 in bills, including my husband's student loan. We are down to one bill - my student loan.
I still find myself envying what other people have on occasion - especially when I go to their homes and see all their beautiful and coordinated furniture and art. But, then I find out that it's all financed and they are getting ulcers from the stress of paying for all their pretty financed things.
That's when I thank God that we learned our lesson and we will never, ever finance anything but a home. So, when you come to my house and envy my things one day, know that I OWN it outright and I saved the money to buy it. It's a position of liberation.
Interestingly, that last two people I can recall envying have been more than excited to hear about Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University and confessed that though they appear to have it all, they sometimes bounce checks or miss payments due to being overextended. http://traceesioux.blogspot.com/2007/01/i-saw-satan-on-tv-and-hes-little-dork.html
Not a Princess-Nazi
We still have a rule about no princesses, but today Ainsley was given some dress-up clothes with Cinderella and Ariel's profile on them.
I let her keep them. I reminded her that I don't care for princesses because Cinderella could have gone to law school and saved herself and Ariel shouldn't have give-up her gifts and talents or her right to speak to find a boyfriend.
She can't help it - she still likes those stupid princesses. She wants to please me, but she also wants to wear that dress. I don't want to be so strict about it that she loves the princesses even more, because my gut tells me that will turn out badly.
So, sometimes I conscientiously let her break the princess ban if someone hands something down. http://traceesioux.blogspot.com/2007/01/princess-ban.html